Narcissists can’t help but be self-centred, controlling, and manipulative — and that even comes through in their texts.
While in an ideal world, you’d just block and delete them altogether, sometimes that’s not actually possible. When you’re forced to interact with a narcissist, chances are you’ll receive variations of these texts from them on a regular basis. Lucky you!
1. “Hey, I need you to do something for me right now.”
This message often appears out of the blue, solely when they want something. They might start with a quick greeting before swiftly moving to their request, which proves that they view you more as a means to an end than a person to connect with. It’s all about their needs, not your relationship.
2. *Sends 5 selfies* “Don’t I look amazing today?”
A constant stream of selfies or updates about their life, without any interest in yours, is a red flag. Their one-sided communication demonstrates their self-obsession and lack of consideration for other people, which is a trademark narcissist behaviour. It’s all about keeping the spotlight firmly on themselves and fishing for compliments.
3. “Why aren’t you responding? I guess you don’t care about me.”
This is clearly a manipulative tactic is designed to make you feel guilty and prioritise their needs over your own time and responsibilities. It shows a lack of respect for your boundaries and an expectation of constant attention. Such messages can create anxiety and a feeling of walking on eggshells.
4. “You look nice today, for a change.”
You’ve got to love a backhanded compliment — it’s a subtle put-down disguised as praise that’s meant to undermine your confidence while maintaining a facade of kindness. If you fall for it, this tactic keeps you off-balance and chasing their approval. It’s a way for them to assert superiority and control in the relationship.
5. “I’m sorry you feel that way about what I did.”
This non-apology shifts blame and shows an inability to take responsibility for their actions — it’s a clear sign of their lack of empathy and accountability. Instead of acknowledging their mistake, they’re making it about your reaction, invalidating your feelings in the process.
6. “Everyone says I’m the best. Don’t you agree?”
Messages fishing for compliments reveal their constant need for external validation and fragile self-esteem. They rely on others to boost their ego, but their behaviour can be exhausting for those around them, as they’re constantly expected to provide praise and admiration.
7. “You’re my soulmate. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”
Early in a relationship, overly affectionate messages like this might seem romantic, but they’re often a manipulation tactic. Love-bombing is used to quickly forge a deep connection and create emotional dependency. It can be overwhelming and is usually not sustainable long-term.
8. “That’s great about your promotion. Reminds me of when I got mine.”
Source: Unsplash Such a selfish response shows their inability to be genuinely happy when good things happen to other people. They always need to be the centre of attention, even in your moments of joy. It also proves their competitive nature and how they view every situation through the lens of how it relates to them.
9. *No response for days after an argument*
The silent treatment is meant to make you anxious and apologetic, even if you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s a form of emotional manipulation designed to maintain control over you. The sudden lack of communication is punishment for not meeting their expectations or disagreeing with them. Little do they realise, it’s actually kind of peaceful!
10. “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME? YOU’RE SO SELFISH!”
Source: Unsplash These aggressive outbursts show their inability to handle criticism or disappointment maturely, and it’s an attempt to intimidate you into compliance. The all-caps text is a digital version of yelling, designed to make you feel small and give in to their demands. Don’t give in!
11. “That never happened. You’re remembering it wrong.”
Source: Unsplash This is a classic gaslighting technique, and these texts aim to make you doubt your own memory and perceptions. It’s a manipulative way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and can be incredibly damaging to your sense of reality over time.
12. “I’ll buy you a house one day. We’ll travel the world together.”
Source: Unsplash Narcissists often send messages promising the moon and stars, but these grandiose promises rarely materialise. They’re meant to keep you hooked with false hope and demonstrate their supposed generosity and capability. It’s a way of painting a rosy future to distract from present issues.
13. “You should really lose some weight. Just trying to help.”
Source: Unsplash Their unsolicited advice is less about helping you and more about asserting their superiority. It’s a way for them to feel in control and showcase their perceived wisdom. Needless to say, such comments are often thinly veiled criticisms designed to lower your self-esteem.
14. “I can’t believe you’re hanging out with them instead of me.”
Source: Unsplash This message reveals their possessive nature and need for constant attention. They may try to isolate you from friends and family, making you solely dependent on them, but it’s a control tactic disguised as concern or hurt feelings. Never let a narcissist pull you away from your support system.
15. “No one will ever love you like I do. You’re lucky to have me.”
Source: Unsplash This manipulative message is designed to make you feel both special and insecure. It implies that their love is unique and irreplaceable, while also suggesting you should be grateful. Of course, this can create an unhealthy dependency and fear of losing the relationship (which is really what they want).
16. “K.” *after you send a long, heartfelt message*
Source: Unsplash Their dismissive response shows a lack of empathy and consideration for your feelings. It’s their passive-aggressive way of punishing you for something or showing their disinterest, and it can leave you feeling unvalued and unheard in the relationship.
17. “I’m the victim here. You’re the one who hurt me.”
Narcissists often play the victim, even when they’re the ones at fault. This kind of message deflects responsibility and turns the tables, making you the bad guy. It’s a tactic to avoid accountability and manipulate you into feeling guilty and apologetic, but you know better than that.
18. “If you really loved me, you’d do this for me.”
Emotional blackmail uses your feelings against you, and this message is a manipulative way of getting what they want by questioning your love and commitment. They want to make you feel guilty for having boundaries or saying no to their demands, but you’re too clever for that, aren’t you?
