18 Strange Behaviours That Prove You’re Too Idealistic

Idealism might be great in theory, but translated into real life, it leads to a lot of disappointment and unrealistic expectations.

Of course, it’s good to have standards and hope for the best, but if you don’t inject a dose of realism into your lofty ideals, you’re in for a rude awakening. Here are some signs you’re a bit too idealistic and need to come back down to earth, even just slightly. I promise you’ll be much happier that way!

1. Expecting perfection from other people

You hold everyone to impossibly high standards, and you often feel disappointed when people don’t meet your expectations. Such a rigid mindset can strain relationships and lead to a whole lot of frustration, especially when you feel constantly let down by friends, family, and colleagues who are simply being human.

2. Avoiding conflict at all costs

You believe all disagreements can be resolved peacefully, but your avoidance can lead to unresolved issues piling up. Sometimes, disagreements or even arguments are necessary for growth and understanding. Your reluctance to engage in tough conversations might hold your personal and professional progress back.

3. Believing hard work always pays off

You’re convinced that effort alone guarantees success, but this belief can lead to burnout and disappointment when results don’t match your expectations. Sometimes, factors beyond your control influence outcomes. If you overlook the role of timing, luck, and systemic factors in achieving goals, you’re bound to be disappointed.

4. Trusting everyone implicitly

You see the good in everyone and trust people immediately. While optimism is valuable, this level of trust can make you vulnerable to manipulation. A balanced approach to trust often serves better in the long run. Otherwise, you may find yourself repeatedly hurt or taken advantage of due to this unguarded openness.

5. Thinking you can change people

You believe your influence can fundamentally alter someone’s personality or habits, which inevitably leads to frustration when that doesn’t pan out. People generally change only when they decide to do so themselves. Your efforts to “fix” other people might be damaging your relationships and draining your energy.

6. Expecting instant results

You get impatient when your efforts don’t yield immediate positive outcomes, but real change and progress often take time. Your unrealistic expectation can lead to giving up too soon on worthwhile projects and endeavours. As a result, you might be missing out on long-term success by abandoning projects prematurely.

7. Believing in universal fairness

You expect life to be fair to everyone all the time, and that can lead to deep disappointment when confronted with the realities of injustice and inequality. Recognising unfairness is the first step in working to improve it. Your disillusionment with the world’s inequities might be keeping you from taking constructive action that can actually make a change in the world.

8. Romanticising struggle

You glorify hardship, believing it always leads to personal growth. While challenges can create resilience, not all struggles are helpful. Seeing things this way might mean you don’t get help when you really need it. You could be unnecessarily prolonging your own suffering by refusing to acknowledge when a situation is harmful rather than growth-promoting.

9. Expecting constant happiness

You believe happiness should be your constant state, which means you likely experience disappointment with normal emotional fluctuations. Accepting a range of emotions is part of a balanced life. Your pursuit of perpetual happiness might be causing you to suppress or deny other valid and important emotions.

10. Believing in perfect relationships

You expect relationships to be conflict-free and always harmonious, which could mean you end up feeling miserable in otherwise healthy relationships. All relationships require work and compromise, and your idealised view of relationships might make you miss out on meaningful connections that aren’t “perfect” but are genuinely good.

11. Thinking success comes without sacrifice

You believe you can achieve your goals without any trade-offs, and that can lead to poor decision-making. Most big achievements require some form of sacrifice or compromise. You might be setting yourself up for failure by not preparing for the challenges that come with pursuing your ambitions.

12. Expecting everyone to share your values

You assume everyone holds the same moral standards and beliefs as you, and this expectation can lead to shock and disappointment when confronted with differing viewpoints. Diversity in thought and values is a reality of human society. Your assumption of universal agreement might be limiting your ability to understand and work with people from different backgrounds.

13. Believing in overnight success

You think success can happen instantly, but this POV overlooks the years of hard work behind most “overnight successes”. It can lead to unrealistic expectations and premature disappointment in your own journey. You might be discounting the value of persistence and incremental progress in achieving your goals.

14. Expecting gratitude for every good deed

You believe every kind act should be met with explicit appreciation, which can lead to resentment when gratitude isn’t expressed. Sometimes, the reward for kindness is simply in the act itself. Your focus on receiving thanks might be overshadowing the intrinsic value of being helpful or generous.

15. Thinking problems always have clear solutions

You believe every issue has a straightforward resolution. Unfortunately, this mindset can lead to frustration when faced with complex, nuanced problems. Many real-world issues require ongoing management rather than simple solutions. Your expectation of clear-cut answers might be preventing you from developing the skills to navigate ambiguity and complexity.

16. Believing in universal likeability

You think it’s possible for everyone to like you, but that could lead to people-pleasing behaviour and loss of authenticity. It’s normal and okay for some people not to connect with you. Your desire to be universally liked might mean you compromise your true self and values.

17. Expecting constant inspiration

You believe motivation and inspiration should always be present, which might mean you procrastinate when you don’t feel inspired. Discipline often matters more than inspiration for long-term success. Your reliance on feeling inspired might be holding you back from developing consistent, productive habits.

18. Thinking life should be free from disappointment

You believe a well-lived life shouldn’t include letdowns or failures. Unfortunately for you, this mindset can make disappointments feel catastrophic. Accepting that setbacks are part of life can increase resilience and adaptability. Your aversion to disappointment might be preventing you from taking risks that could lead to personal growth and new opportunities.