All women have come across men who seem charming at first but turn out to be self-centred, egotistical, and emotionally draining.
While a little ego can be attractive, full-blown narcissism can be a real relationship killer. How do you know if that’s what you’re dealing with? Look for these signs.
1. He constantly talks about himself and his achievements.
A narcissist loves to be the centre of attention. He’ll dominate conversations, bragging about his accomplishments, talents, and possessions. He might interrupt you or change the subject to bring it back to himself. It’s like he’s the star of his own personal reality show, and you’re just a supporting character.
2. He lacks empathy and has difficulty understanding your feelings.
Narcissists have a limited capacity for empathy. They struggle to understand or care about your emotions, needs, or concerns. They might dismiss your feelings as irrational or oversensitive, or simply ignore them altogether. It’s like talking to a brick wall; you’re not being heard or validated.
3. He needs constant admiration and validation.
Narcissists crave admiration and validation like a plant needs sunlight. They need to be constantly reassured of their greatness and importance. They might fish for compliments, chase approval, or become sulky and withdrawn if they don’t get the attention they crave. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with their insatiable need for validation.
4. He’s extremely critical and puts you down.
Narcissists often use criticism as a way to maintain their sense of superiority. They might belittle your accomplishments, point out your flaws, or make you feel inadequate. This can knock your self-esteem and confidence, making you more dependent on them for validation.
5. He has a sense of entitlement and expects special treatment.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists believe they’re entitled to special treatment and privileges. They might expect you to cater to their every whim, prioritise their needs over yours, or forgive their transgressions without hesitation. They see themselves as above the rules and expect people to conform to their standards.
6. He’s manipulative and controlling.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are skilled manipulators who use various tactics to control and dominate their partners. They might use guilt trips, gaslighting, or threats to get their way. They might isolate you from your friends and family, or try to control your finances and decisions. It’s a subtle but insidious form of abuse that can leave you feeling trapped and powerless.
7. He lacks genuine remorse or accountability.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists rarely apologise sincerely or take responsibility for their actions. They might offer a half-hearted apology to avoid conflict or appease you, but they’re unlikely to feel genuine remorse. They’ll often blame other people, external circumstances, or even you for their mistakes and shortcomings.
8. He’s jealous of people and belittles their achievements.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are often jealous of other people’s success, talents, or possessions. They might try to downplay their achievements, spread rumours, or sabotage their efforts. This stems from their deep-seated insecurity and need to feel superior to everyone else.
9. He has a fragile ego and can’t handle criticism.
Source: Unsplash Even the slightest criticism can send a narcissist into a tailspin. He might react with anger, defensiveness, or even rage. He takes any critique as a personal attack, a threat to his inflated self-image. This makes it difficult to have honest conversations or address any issues in the relationship.
10. He’s always playing the blame game.
Source: Unsplash Nothing is ever his fault. If something goes wrong, he’ll find someone or something else to blame. He’ll twist the narrative to make himself look good and avoid any responsibility for his actions. It’s exhausting trying to reason with someone who refuses to acknowledge their own mistakes.
11. He’s a master manipulator, using charm and guilt to get his way.
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating people to get what they want. They might use charm, flattery, guilt trips, or even threats to get you to comply with their demands. They’ll play on your emotions and vulnerabilities, making you feel obligated to do what they want, even if it’s against your better judgment.
12. He’s obsessed with status, power, and success.
Narcissists are driven by a need for status, power, and success. They might constantly apply for promotions at work, try to accumulate wealth and possessions, or associate themselves with influential people. Their self-worth is often tied to their external achievements, and they’ll go to great lengths to maintain their image of success.
13. He lacks boundaries and disregards your needs.
Narcissists often have a disregard for personal boundaries. They might invade your privacy, overstep your limits, or expect you to be available to them at all times. They’re not interested in your needs or feelings; they only care about their own desires and agenda.
14. He has a history of short-lived relationships.
Narcissists often have a string of failed relationships in their past. They might jump from one partner to the next, unable to maintain a healthy, long-term commitment. This is because their self-centredness and lack of empathy make it difficult for them to connect with people on a deeper level.
15. He’s constantly looking for attention and validation from other people.
A narcissist’s need for attention is insatiable. He might constantly fish for compliments or validation, or engage in attention-seeking behaviours. He might flirt with people, post provocative photos on social media, or even start drama to get a reaction. It’s a constant battle for him to feel seen and admired.
16. He lacks genuine interest in your life and experiences.
Narcissists are often more interested in themselves than in their partners. They might not ask about your day, listen to your stories, or show genuine interest in your life. They might even interrupt you or change the subject to talk about themselves. It’s a one-sided relationship where your needs and feelings are often ignored.
17. He uses love bombing to win you over, then devalues and discards you.
Narcissists often employ a tactic called “love bombing” at the beginning of a relationship. They shower you with affection, attention, and gifts, making you feel like you’ve found the perfect partner. However, once they’ve secured your affection, they might start to devalue you, criticise you, and withdraw their attention. This can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and questioning your own worth.
18. He has a grandiose sense of self-importance and believes he’s special.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they’re superior to everyone else. They might see themselves as unique, special, or even destined for greatness. This grandiose self-image often masks deep-seated insecurity and a fragile ego. They need constant admiration and validation to maintain their sense of self-worth.
