Loneliness is an epidemic these days, sadly.
In 2022, 7.1% of people in the UK — that’s 3.83 million — reported dealing with chronic loneliness, a rise on the previous 2020 figures of 6% (3.24 million), per the Campaign to End Loneliness. While it’s incredibly common and nothing to be ashamed of, it almost feels as if NOT being lonely is the exception. Those who fall into the latter camp tend to do these things differently. If you’re struggling, try to incorporate some of these habits — they might help!
1. They prioritise quality over quantity in relationships.
People who aren’t lonely understand that having a packed social calendar doesn’t equate to meaningful connections. Instead of trying to be everyone’s best mate, they focus on nurturing deep, authentic relationships with a select few. They invest time and energy into these friendships, which inevitably creates a strong support network. It’s much more fulfilling than a huge circle of acquaintances.
2. They see alone time as an opportunity for growth.
Rather than being scared of being on their own, they see it as a chance for self-discovery and personal development. When they’re solo, they can spend their time however they want, which helps them recharge and head back out into the world with a renewed energy and perspective. It’s really that simple.
3. They pursue their interests and passions wholeheartedly.
People who don’t struggle with loneliness often have really full lives. They have no shortage of passions and hobbies, whether they’re learning how to play an instrument, going hiking, learning how to sew — you name it, they’re interested in trying it. As a result, they end up way more satisfied with their lives and also tend to meet a lot of like-minded people. It’s a win-win!
4. They do a lot of active listening.
At their core, people really just want to be heard and understood. That’s why they put their phones away and actually give their full attention during conversations. They care about what people have to say, so they go out of their way to be present. As a result, people are drawn to them.
5. They keep their self-esteem up.
People who aren’t lonely typically have a healthy sense of self-worth. They recognise their own value and don’t need approval or validation from anyone else to cement it. Because they’re so self-assured, they get into relationships from a place of confidence rather than neediness, which makes them way more attractive — and more resilient in the cases when things don’t work out.
6. They reach out to people instead of waiting for everyone to come to them.
Instead of waiting for everyone to text them or invite them places, people who aren’t lonely are cool with taking the reins and making the first move, even with friends. If they want to hang out or do something together, they ask! They know that relationships of all kinds are a 50/50 effort, so they make sure they pull their weight.
7. They embrace vulnerability in relationships.
Source: Pexels They get that deep connections require openness and vulnerability, and they’re willing to share their true thoughts, feelings, and experiences with people, even when it feels uncomfortable. Because they’re so authentic, the people around them are more willing to open up themselves, which ultimately leads to better (and closer!) relationships.
8. They get involved with their local communities.
They often participate in community events, volunteer work, or local groups because these things provide a sense of belonging and purpose beyond their immediate social circle. Whether it’s joining a neighbourhood clean-up initiative or volunteering at a local charity, they find fulfilment in contributing to something larger than themselves. Plus, it not only keeps them from feeling isolated or alone, but also introduces them to people from all different walks of life.
9. They maintain a growth mindset.
They see life as a continuous learning experience. They try to stay open to new ideas, challenge their beliefs from time to time, and don’t let a bit of failure get them down. The people around them notice their dedication to personal development, and they respect and admire them that much more because of it.
10. They practise gratitude regularly.
Source: Unsplash Non-lonely people make a habit of appreciating the good things in their lives, no matter how small. Doing this enables them to shift their focus from what they lack to what they have, which makes them way more positive on the whole. They let people know when they’re thankful, always show appreciation for kind gestures, and try to find the bright spot in even mundane everyday moments.
11. They set and respect boundaries.
Source: Unsplash They understand the importance of healthy boundaries in relationships, so they’re clear about their needs and limits, and they respect other people’s. By setting boundaries, they ensure that their relationships are based on mutual respect and genuine desire for connection, rather than obligation or fear of being alone.
12. They find a sense of purpose and know their “why”.
Source: Unsplash More often than not, they have a clear sense of purpose or direction in life. Whether it’s pursuing a career they’re passionate about, working towards personal goals, or dedicating themselves to a cause they believe in, this sense of purpose provides fulfilment beyond social interactions. It gives them a reason to get up in the morning and contributes to their overall life satisfaction, making them less dependent on other people for their happiness.
13. They practise empathy and kindness.
Source: Unsplash People who aren’t lonely make an effort to understand and support everyone around them. They’re quick to offer help, act as a sounding board, or even just show kindness in small ways. Being so empathetic not only strengthens their existing relationships but also opens doors to new connections.
14. They maintain a balanced lifestyle.
Source: Unsplash They know how important balance is in all aspects of life, so they make time for work, social activities, personal hobbies, and self-care. This way, they don’t become overly dependent on any one area of their life for fulfilment. By maintaining diverse interests and commitments, they create multiple avenues for satisfaction and connection, reducing the likelihood of feeling isolated or unfulfilled.
15. They try to use technology mindfully.
Source: Unsplash While they recognise the benefits of the internet, they use technology as a tool to enhance real-life connections rather than replace them. They might use social media to stay in touch with distant friends or organise meet-ups, but they prioritise face-to-face interactions whenever possible. This mindful approach to technology helps them maintain genuine connections in an increasingly digital world.
16. They give themselves a bit of grace.
Source: Unsplash They’re kind to themselves, especially during tough times. They understand that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges in life. Instead of harsh self-criticism, they offer themselves the same compassion they would extend to a friend. Because of this, they can bounce back from setbacks more easily and not let these experiences overwhelm them.
17. They’re genuinely pleased when good things happen to other people.
People who aren’t lonely genuinely rejoice in other people’s achievements. They’re quick to offer congratulations and show enthusiasm for their friends’ successes. As a result, they have way stronger relationships.
18. They stay curious about people.
They don’t just assume they know everything there is to know about the people in their lives — they ask questions, hear them out, and try to understand their POV, no matter how different they might be to their own. This not only makes them great conversationalists, but they also naturally have much more rewarding relationships.
