It’s normal and even healthy to have certain expectations of your partner when you’re in a relationship, but some of the things you want from them may not always be realistic.
No matter how strong and healthy your relationship is, there are some things your partner won’t always be willing or able to do. Accepting that this is okay and that they’re not wrong for that is important, especially if you want to stay together for a long time to come.
1. Your partner won’t always agree with your opinions.
It’s natural to have differing points of view, even in a loving relationship. Your partner might disagree with you on all kinds of things, from the best political candidate to the best manager for the England footy team. This is not a big deal — in fact, it might even make your relationship more interesting! Who wants to be with a carbon copy of themselves?
2. They won’t constantly shower you with compliments.
While being appreciated is important, expecting constant praise isn’t realistic. Your partner might not always notice or comment on your new haircut or outfit. This doesn’t mean they don’t find you attractive; they might just be preoccupied or not as observant. Genuine compliments often come spontaneously rather than on demand.
3. Your partner won’t always be available when you need them.
Life gets busy, and there will be times when your partner can’t drop everything to be there for you. They might be in an important meeting, dealing with their own crisis, or simply need some alone time. A healthy relationship allows for individual space and responsibilities alongside mutual support.
4. They won’t always know how to comfort you.
Sometimes, your partner might struggle to find the right words or actions to soothe you when you’re upset. They’re not mind readers, and what comforts you might not be intuitive to them. Open communication about your needs during difficult times can help bridge this gap.
5. Your partner won’t always prioritise your relationship above everything else.
While your relationship is important, it’s healthy for both partners to have other priorities too. This might include career goals, family commitments, or personal hobbies. A balanced life often leads to a more fulfilling relationship in the long run.
6. They won’t always remember important dates or details.
Forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, or specific conversations doesn’t necessarily point to a lack of care. Some people simply struggle with dates and details. What matters more is how they respond when reminded and their efforts to improve if it’s important to you.
7. Your partner won’t always want to socialise with your friends or family.
While it’s great when partners get along with each other’s social circles, it’s not always the case. Your partner might not enjoy every gathering or get along with all your friends. As long as there’s mutual respect, it’s okay to have some separate social activities.
8. They won’t always share your enthusiasm for your interests.
It’s wonderful when couples share hobbies, but it’s unrealistic to expect your partner to be equally passionate about all your interests. They might not get excited about your favourite TV show or hobby, and that’s okay. Mutual support doesn’t require shared enthusiasm for everything.
9. Your partner won’t always express their emotions openly.
Some people find it challenging to articulate their feelings, even in a loving relationship. Your partner might struggle with vulnerability or simply have a different emotional expression style. Patience and creating a safe space for open communication can help, but don’t expect instant or constant emotional transparency.
10. They won’t always want to be intimate.
Libidos fluctuate, and there will be times when your partner isn’t in the mood for physical intimacy. Stress, health issues, or simply feeling tired can affect desire. A healthy relationship respects these fluctuations and doesn’t pressure either partner into unwanted intimacy.
11. Your partner won’t always handle conflict perfectly.
Even in healthy relationships, arguments can get heated. Your partner might say things they regret or struggle to communicate effectively when upset. What matters is the willingness to work through conflicts constructively and learn from these moments.
12. They won’t always make decisions that you agree with.
Your partner will sometimes make choices you disagree with, whether it’s about their career, finances, or personal life. While major decisions should involve discussion in a committed relationship, it’s important to respect each other’s autonomy in individual choices.
13. Your partner won’t always put your needs before their own.
Self-care is crucial, and there will be times when your partner needs to prioritise their own wellbeing. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you; it’s a necessary part of maintaining a healthy balance in the relationship.
14. They won’t always be able to solve your problems.
While support is important, your partner can’t fix everything for you. They might not have the skills, resources, or capacity to solve all your problems. Sometimes, their role is to offer emotional support while you work through issues independently.
15. Your partner won’t always understand your perspective immediately.
Misunderstandings happen, and your partner might not always grasp your point of view right away. This doesn’t mean there’s a lack of effort or empathy; sometimes it takes time and explanation to fully understand each other’s perspectives.
16. They won’t always have the same level of energy or motivation as you.
There will be days when your energy levels don’t match. Your partner might not always be up for that spontaneous adventure or productive day you’ve planned. Respecting these differences and finding compromises is part of a healthy relationship.
17. Your partner won’t always notice or appreciate all the little things you do.
While appreciation is important, your partner might not always notice every small gesture or effort you make. This doesn’t mean they don’t value you; sometimes people get caught up in their own thoughts or routines and miss details.
18. They won’t always grow or change at the same pace as you.
Personal growth happens at different rates for different people. Your partner might not evolve in the same areas or at the same speed as you. Patience and understanding are key, as long as both partners are committed to personal and relational growth in their own ways.
