We’ve all encountered people who can be, well, let’s just say “challenging” to deal with.
But sometimes, there’s more to their behaviour than just being difficult. In some cases, it might be a sign of a legitimate personality disorder. It’s important to remember that a diagnosis can only be made by a qualified professional, but recognising some common signs can help us understand and navigate relationships with those who follow these patterns.
1. Their emotions are intense and unpredictable.
One moment they’re happy, the next they’re furious, and then they’re crying uncontrollably. Their emotional responses often seem out of proportion to the situation, leaving you feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure of what might trigger them next.
2. They have unstable relationships.
Their relationships are a rollercoaster of idealisation and devaluation. One minute you’re their best friend, the next you’re their worst enemy. This pattern of intense closeness followed by sudden rejection can be incredibly confusing and emotionally draining for those on the receiving end.
3. They have a distorted self-image.
They might swing between grandiosity and self-loathing. They might brag about their accomplishments one minute and then express feelings of worthlessness the next. This fluctuating sense of self can make it difficult for them to maintain stable relationships and make healthy decisions.
4. They engage in impulsive and risky behaviours.
Source: Unsplash They might have a history of substance abuse, reckless driving, or impulsive spending. These behaviours can be a way of coping with intense emotions or a lack of self-control. They often lead to negative consequences for themselves and other people.
5. They have a chronic fear of abandonment.
They might go to extreme lengths to avoid being alone or rejected. They might cling to relationships, even unhealthy ones, or engage in manipulative behaviours to keep people close. This fear of abandonment can drive them to act in ways that ultimately push people away.
6. They have a pattern of self-harm.
This could include cutting, burning, or other forms of self-injury. They might also engage in suicidal thoughts or behaviours. These actions are often a cry for help or a way of coping with overwhelming emotional pain.
7. They experience frequent mood swings.
Their moods can change rapidly and dramatically, from depression to mania or irritability. These mood swings can be disruptive to their lives and make it difficult to maintain relationships or hold down a job.
8. They have a lack of empathy.
They might struggle to understand or care about other people’s feelings. They might seem cold, callous, or manipulative. This lack of empathy can make it difficult for them to form genuine connections with people.
9. They have difficulty controlling their anger.
Source: Unsplash They might have frequent outbursts of rage or engage in verbal or physical aggression. This anger can be directed at other people or themselves. It can be triggered by seemingly minor events or frustrations.
10. They’re paranoid or suspicious of pretty much everyone.
Source: Unsplash They might believe that everyone is out to get them or are constantly plotting against them. They might misinterpret innocent actions or comments as hostile. This paranoia can lead to social isolation and difficulty forming trusting relationships.
11. They have an unstable sense of self.
They might struggle to answer basic questions like “Who am I?” or “What do I want?” Their interests, values, and even their sense of identity can shift dramatically from one moment to the next. This can make it difficult for them to make decisions or set goals.
12. They engage in splitting.
They see people and situations as all good or all bad. There’s no middle ground. This black-and-white thinking can lead to extreme reactions and difficulty maintaining stable relationships. One minute you’re their hero, the next you’re their villain.
13. They have a history of unstable employment.
Their unpredictable behaviour and difficulty managing emotions can make it hard to hold down a job. They might quit impulsively, get fired for conflicts with coworkers or supervisors, or simply struggle to maintain consistent performance.
14. They have a distorted sense of entitlement.
Source: Unsplash They might believe they deserve special treatment or that the rules don’t apply to them. They might become angry or resentful when they don’t get what they want. This sense of entitlement can lead to conflict and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
15. They are manipulative.
Source: Unsplash They might use guilt, charm, or threats to get what they want. They might play people against each other or create drama to keep themselves at the centre of attention. This manipulative behaviour can be damaging to relationships and kill trust.
16. They have a history of legal troubles.
Source: Unsplash Their impulsive and risky behaviours can lead to run-ins with the law. They might have a history of arrests for theft, assault, or other offences. This can be a sign of a deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
17. They have a tendency to blame everyone else for their problems.
They rarely take responsibility for their own actions or choices. They might blame people for their failures, their unhappiness, or even their own negative behaviours. This lack of accountability can make it difficult for them to learn and grow.
18. They have difficulty maintaining long-term friendships.
Source: Unsplash Their unpredictable behaviour, mood swings, and manipulative tendencies can make it hard for them to sustain lasting friendships. They might have a string of broken relationships or a history of isolating themselves from the world.
19. They experience chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom.
They might feel like there’s a void inside them that they can’t fill. They might constantly pursue new experiences or thrills to avoid these feelings. This chronic emptiness can be a sign of a deeper emotional or psychological issue that needs to be addressed.
