Healthy relationships, whether they’re romantic, platonic, or familial, are built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
However, there are certain behaviours that can destroy this foundation and cause irreparable harm. Recognising these unacceptable behaviours is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries and ensuring your well-being.
1. They consistently dismiss your feelings.
If your partner, friend, or family member regularly invalidates your emotions or tells you you’re overreacting, it’s a red flag. Everyone is entitled to their feelings, and having them dismissed can make you feel unheard and unimportant. A healthy relationship involves acknowledging and validating each other’s emotions, even if they don’t always align with your own.
2. They isolate you from your loved ones.
It’s not okay for someone to try to control who you spend time with or make you feel guilty for maintaining relationships outside of the one you have with them. A healthy relationship allows space for individuality and encourages you to nurture your other connections. Attempts to isolate you can be a sign of insecurity or a desire for control.
3. They use manipulation or guilt-tripping to get their way.
If you often find yourself giving in to someone’s demands because you feel guilty or obligated, it’s a sign of manipulation. Healthy relationships involve compromise and negotiation, not emotional blackmail. Manipulation can leave you feeling drained and resentful, ultimately undermining the trust and respect essential for a healthy connection.
4. They cross your boundaries repeatedly.
Everyone has personal boundaries, whether they’re physical, emotional, or related to personal space and privacy. If someone consistently disregards your boundaries despite you communicating them clearly, it’s a major red flag. It shows a lack of respect for your autonomy and can create an unsafe and uncomfortable environment.
5. They use verbal aggression or insults to belittle you.
Name-calling, insults, and put-downs are never okay in any relationship. These behaviours are designed to hurt and humiliate, and they can significantly damage your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Healthy communication involves respect and kindness, even during disagreements.
6. They control your finances or access to resources.
Financial control is a form of abuse that can leave you feeling trapped and powerless. If someone limits your access to money, controls your spending, or makes you feel guilty for how you use your resources, it’s a major red flag. Healthy relationships involve financial transparency and respect for each other’s financial autonomy.
7. They make threats of violence or harm.
Any threat of violence, whether it’s physical or emotional, is unacceptable and should never be tolerated. This behaviour creates a climate of fear and intimidation, making it impossible to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship. If you feel threatened or unsafe, get help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional.
8. They exhibit controlling or possessive behaviour.
Controlling behaviour can manifest in various ways, from dictating what you wear to monitoring your social interactions. If someone is overly possessive, jealous, or tries to control your every move, it’s a sign of a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect for each other’s independence.
9. They consistently blame you for their problems or mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, but someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions and instead blames you for everything that goes wrong is displaying a toxic pattern. This behaviour can leave you feeling guilty and responsible for things that are beyond your control, eroding your self-esteem and confidence.
10. They invade your privacy or violate your trust.
Everyone deserves to have their privacy respected. If someone is constantly snooping through your belongings, reading your messages without permission, or sharing your personal information without your consent, it’s a sign of a major breach of trust. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for each other’s privacy.
11. They make you feel responsible for their happiness.
While being supportive of your partner is important, you’re not responsible for their happiness. If someone constantly expects you to fix their problems, cheer them up, or cater to their every need, it can be emotionally draining and unsustainable. It’s important to maintain healthy boundaries and encourage them to take responsibility for their own well-being.
12. They sabotage your goals or dreams.
A supportive partner should celebrate your successes and encourage you to pursue your passions. If someone is constantly belittling your ambitions, discouraging you from taking risks, or actively sabotaging your efforts, it’s a major red flag. Healthy relationships involve mutual support and encouragement for each other’s goals.
13. They refuse to communicate or work through issues.
Communication is key in any relationship. If someone shuts down during disagreements, refuses to talk about their feelings, or avoids addressing problems altogether, it can create resentment and lead to unresolved conflicts. Healthy relationships involve open and honest communication, even when it’s difficult.
14. They compare you to other people in a negative way.
Being compared to an ex-partner, a friend, or even a celebrity can be hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough and can create insecurities within the relationship. Healthy relationships focus on appreciating each other’s unique qualities and celebrating individuality.
15. They make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Source: Unsplash If you constantly feel anxious, uncertain, or afraid of upsetting someone, it’s a sign of an unhealthy dynamic. You shouldn’t have to constantly monitor your words and actions to avoid triggering their anger or disapproval. Healthy relationships allow you to feel safe, comfortable, and free to express yourself authentically.
16. They don’t respect your need for alone time or personal space.
Source: Unsplash Everyone needs time to recharge and be alone with their thoughts. If someone doesn’t respect your need for solitude or personal space, it can feel suffocating and invasive. Healthy relationships understand and respect the importance of individuality and alone time.
17. They gaslight you or make you doubt your own reality.
Source: Unsplash Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that involves making someone question their own sanity, memory, or perception of events. It can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and unsure of what to believe. If you suspect someone is gaslighting you, it’s important to trust your gut and get support from trusted friends or professionals.
18. They consistently break promises or commitments.
Source: Unsplash Trust is built on reliability and follow-through. If someone consistently breaks their promises, cancels plans at the last minute, or fails to deliver on their commitments, it destroys trust and creates uncertainty in the relationship. While occasional slip-ups happen, a pattern of broken promises is a sign of disrespect and unreliability.
19. They engage in any form of abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual).
Source: Unsplash Abuse is never acceptable in any form. Physical violence, emotional manipulation, and sexual coercion are all forms of abuse that can have devastating consequences. If you’re experiencing abuse in a relationship, it’s important to ask for help immediately. There are resources available to support you and help you create a safe and healthy environment for yourself.
