Dealing with a narcissist takes its toll on even the strongest people, and it doesn’t make you weak to admit that a narcissist has broken you.
Their endless manipulation, control tactics, and toxic behaviour are enough to wear anyone down, and when that happens, you’ll no doubt experience some uncomfortable and intense emotions. If you’ve ever been through this kind of relationship, these experiences will no doubt be familiar to you.
1. Walking on eggshells becomes a constant state.
The constant fear of setting them off becomes ingrained. You’re always on edge, never knowing what might trigger their next outburst. Having to be hypervigilant all the time is exhausting and leaves you feeling drained and anxious.
2. Memories and experiences are clouded with doubt.
Gaslighting takes its toll, and you start questioning your reality, wondering if things really happened the way you remember. Self-doubt creeps into every aspect of your life, making you second-guess even the simplest decisions. You can’t trust your own judgement anymore, and it drives you crazy.
3. Sanity feels like it’s slipping away.
The constant manipulation and emotional abuse can make you feel like you’re going crazy. Your thoughts become jumbled, and you struggle to make sense of what’s real and what’s not. It’s a disorienting and frightening experience. Hopefully, you have a strong support system in place to help pull you out of it.
4. Betrayal cuts deep to the core.
The realisation that someone you trusted and cared for has been manipulating you hits hard. The betrayal cuts deep, leaving you feeling vulnerable and unsure if you can ever trust anyone again. How could you, when someone you relied on could do what they’ve done to you?
5. Guilt weighs heavily, despite being undeserved.
Even though you’re the victim, you might blame yourself. You’ll think about all the ways you could have done things differently, convinced that their behaviour is somehow your fault. You can’t believe you allowed yourself to be victimised by the narcissist, but it has nothing to do with you. Nevertheless, the misplaced guilt can be crushing.
6. Exhaustion seeps into every aspect of life.
The constant emotional rollercoaster leaves you utterly depleted. Simple tasks feel overwhelming, and you struggle to find the energy for even basic self-care. The exhaustion you’re experiencing seeps into every aspect of your life, making it hard to function.
7. Anger and resentment bubble to the surface.
As the fog lifts, anger bubbles up. You’re furious at the narcissist for the way they’ve treated you, and maybe even angrier at yourself for allowing it to happen. The rage can be both empowering and destructive — it all depends on how you use it.
8. Loss feels profound and all-encompassing.
Mourning the relationship you thought you had is painful. You grieve for the future you’d imagined and the person you believed them to be, and this sense of loss can feel as devastating as a death. Part of you wonders if you’ll ever truly get over it. (Don’t worry, you will.)
9. Worthlessness becomes a familiar feeling.
After constant criticism and put-downs, your self-esteem takes a massive hit. You might feel unlovable, unworthy, and convinced that you’ll never be good enough for anyone. Rebuilding your self-worth is a challenging but important process.
10. Relief comes in unexpected moments.
Amidst the pain, you’ll have flashes of relief. The weight of walking on eggshells is lifted, and you can finally breathe. These moments of freedom, though bittersweet, remind you that healing is possible.
11. Isolation feels overwhelming and inescapable.
The narcissist may have isolated you from friends and family. Even if people are around, you might feel like no one understands what you’ve been through. The loneliness can be overwhelming and make reaching out for support feel impossible.
12. Identity becomes a puzzling concept.
After losing yourself in the relationship, you might struggle to remember who you are. Your interests, goals, and values feel fuzzy and distant. Rediscovering yourself is both exciting and terrifying. However, you’ll eventually realise you’re stronger than ever before.
13. The need for closure becomes all-consuming.
The lack of a proper ending or explanation can be maddening. You might obsess over getting answers or closure from the narcissist, even though it’s unlikely they’ll ever provide it. Still, the obsession over getting it can keep you stuck in the past if you let it. Don’t let it!
14. Mood swings become the new normal.
Source: Unsplash Your emotions will be all over the place. One minute you’re angry, the next you’re sobbing, then you might feel numb. These rapid shifts are disorienting and can make you feel out of control, but what you’re going through is totally normal. Things will even out in the end.
15. Shame lingers despite being unwarranted.
Source: Unsplash You might feel ashamed for “falling for” the narcissist’s manipulation or for staying in the relationship. This shame can be paralysing and make it hard to open up to people about your experiences.
16. Nostalgia strikes at unexpected times.
Source: Unsplash Despite the pain, you might find yourself longing for the good times. These rose-tinted memories can be confusing and make you question your decision to leave. Remember, these moments were likely part of the manipulation.
17. Peace and quiet become newly appreciated.
Source: Unsplash After the chaos of the relationship, moments of calm feel precious. You start to appreciate the simple joy of a drama-free day, even if it feels unfamiliar at first. The moments of quiet become times when you feel the most at peace, even if it takes you a while to get there.
18. Hope and despair battle for dominance.
Source: Unsplash Some days you’ll feel hopeful about your future, while others you’ll be convinced you’ll never recover. This back-and-forth is normal but emotionally draining. Hang onto those moments of hope. They’ll eventually win out.
19. The urge to warn other people grows strong.
Source: Unsplash As you start to heal, you might feel compelled to share your story. This desire to protect other people from similar pain can be both empowering and a way to process your own experiences.
20. Strength and resilience emerge from the ashes.
Source: Unsplash As you work through these emotions, you’ll start to recognise your own strength. Surviving a narcissist’s abuse is no small feat. Your growing resilience will help you move forward and rebuild your life on your own terms.
