Finding out your partner cheated on you is devastating enough, but confronting them can open up a whole new can of worms.
Cheaters don’t often own up to their behaviour; in fact, they’ll go to great lengths to lie, make excuses, and cover up their betrayal. When you call them out for their infidelity, don’t be surprised if you hear one of these infuriating things in return.
1. “It didn’t mean anything.”
As if that makes it any better! Whether it meant something or not, they still chose to betray your trust. This is just a weak attempt to downplay their behaviour and make it seem less serious than it is. If it meant nothing, they would never have done it in the first place.
2. “I was drunk, it was a mistake.”
Gotta love the old ‘blame it on the alcohol’ excuse. Being drunk might lower inhibitions, but it doesn’t make you trip and fall into someone else’s bed. They still made a choice, and now they’re trying to avoid taking responsibility for it. This should NEVER fly!
3. “You’ve been so distant lately.”
Some cheaters love to blame the non-cheating partner for their infidelity, as if they’re owed intimacy from you and if they don’t get it, they have no choice but to look for it elsewhere. This is NOT your fault. Even if there were problems in the relationship, that’s not an excuse to cheat. There are plenty of other ways to address issues — like, you know, talking about them.
4. “It only happened once.”
As if the number of times makes a difference! Once is enough to break trust and cause hurt. Plus, who’s to say it really was just once? When someone’s already proven they can lie, it’s hard to believe anything they say.
5. “I was going to tell you.”
Really? When exactly? After they got caught? This is just a desperate attempt to seem less dishonest. If they were really going to come clean, they would have done it before you found out on your own. If you hadn’t, they certainly would never have opened up about it.
6. “It’s not what it looks like.”
This line is so cliché it’s almost laughable. Unless you caught them planning a surprise party, it’s probably exactly what it looks like. It’s a stalling tactic while they try to come up with a better excuse.
7. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Well, that worked out brilliantly, didn’t it? If they really didn’t want to cause hurt, they wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. This is just a weak attempt to paint themselves as considerate, even while they’re breaking your heart. This is one of the most hurtful things imaginable, and they knew this full well when they did it.
8. “You’re overreacting.”
This is gaslighting, plain and simple. They’re trying to make you doubt your own feelings and reactions. Feeling hurt, angry, or betrayed after being cheated on is completely normal and valid, especially when someone destroys your trust so callously.
9. “It was just physical, I don’t have feelings for them.”
Whether it was emotional or physical doesn’t really matter — it’s still cheating. This is another attempt to minimise their actions and make it seem less serious than it is. The intimacy you shared has now been shared with someone else. They’ve ruined everything.
10. “You’ve been working so much, I was lonely.”
Again, they’re trying to shift the blame onto you. Being lonely in a relationship is tough, but it’s not an excuse to cheat. There are much better ways to address feeling neglected or lonely that don’t involve sleeping with someone who isn’t your partner.
11. “It won’t happen again.”
How can you be sure? They’ve already shown they’re capable of betraying your trust once. This promise rings pretty hollow when they’re only saying it after being caught. The only way to make sure it doesn’t happen again is to kick them to the kerb now.
12. “Why were you snooping through my phone?”
If you found out by snooping, sure, that’s not great, but they’re deflecting by calling you out for this. They’re trying to turn the tables and make you the bad guy for invading their privacy, instead of addressing their own betrayal.
13. “I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.”
This is emotional manipulation at its finest. They’re trying to make you feel guilty for their actions. Even if they genuinely felt neglected, cheating is never the answer. Why didn’t they just break up with you if they thought the relationship was over?
14. “It’s not like we’re married.”
As if commitment only counts with a ring on your finger! This is a weak attempt to downplay the seriousness of the relationship and, by extension, their betrayal. You’ll certainly never be getting married now, that’s for sure!
15. “You’re the one I really love.”
Actions speak louder than words. If they really loved and respected you, they wouldn’t have cheated in the first place. This is just an attempt to smooth things over without taking real responsibility.
16. “I did it for us.”
This one’s truly baffling. How exactly does cheating benefit the relationship? It’s a desperate attempt to justify their actions that makes absolutely no sense. Your relationship isn’t going to magically improve now that they’ve cheated on you.
17. “I was going through a rough time.”
Life can be tough sometimes, but that’s not an excuse to betray someone’s trust. There are healthier ways to cope with stress and difficult emotions that don’t involve cheating. You’ve probably had plenty of tough times, and they didn’t lead you to someone else’s bed.
18. “You’re not perfect either.”
This is another attempt to deflect and shift blame. Even if you’ve made mistakes in the relationship, it doesn’t justify their cheating. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
19. “It’s not cheating if…”
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s “it’s not cheating if we didn’t sleep together” or “it’s not cheating if it’s online”, these are all just attempts to redefine cheating to exclude their behaviour. If they’re having to argue technicalities, they know they’ve done wrong.
20. “Can’t we just forget about it and move on?”
Source: Unsplash This shows a real lack of understanding about the impact of their actions. Cheating breaks trust, and rebuilding that takes time and effort. Trying to sweep it under the rug isn’t going to solve anything.
