When you love someone, you want to do everything they can to make them happy and make their life a little bit easier.
However, there are many things people do for their partners that seem incredibly kind, thoughtful, and caring in the moment, but that ultimately do more harm than good in the long run. While their heart is in the right place, someone who does these things for you is actually very much in the wrong.
1. They try to fix all your problems.
It’s sweet when your partner wants to solve everything for you, but it can become overwhelming. Sometimes you just need a listening ear, not a problem-solver. Their insistence on being the superhero might make you feel incapable of handling your own issues in the long term. Instead, focus on developing problem-solving skills together, empowering each other to tackle challenges independently.
2. They always put you first.
While it sounds romantic, constantly prioritising you over themselves can lead to resentment. A healthy relationship needs balance, and your partner shouldn’t neglect their own needs and desires continuously. Encourage your partner to pursue their own interests and maintain their individuality within the relationship.
3. They shower you with expensive gifts.
Lavish presents are exciting at first, but they can set unrealistic expectations. It’s not sustainable financially, and it might make you value material things over emotional connection. Focus on creating meaningful experiences together rather than relying on material gifts to express affection.
4. They agree with everything you say.
A partner who never disagrees might seem ideal, but it’s not. Healthy relationships involve respectful debates and differing opinions. Constant agreement can lead to a loss of individual identity and boring conversations. Embrace the diversity of thoughts and ideas that come with two unique individuals sharing their lives.
5. They’re always available.
Having a partner at your beck and call sounds great, but it can become suffocating. Everyone needs personal space and time for their own pursuits. Constant availability can lead to codependency. Encourage independence and personal growth by respecting each other’s need for alone time.
6. They keep secrets to protect your feelings.
Source: Unsplash While it might seem kind to hide unpleasant truths, it’s not sustainable. Trust is crucial in a relationship, and even well-intentioned secrets can destroy that trust when they eventually come to light. Foster an environment of open communication where both partners feel safe sharing their thoughts and feelings honestly.
7. They change their interests to match yours.
It’s lovely when your partner takes an interest in your hobbies, but completely changing their preferences to align with yours isn’t healthy. It can lead to a loss of individuality and, eventually, resentment. Celebrate your differences and learn from each other’s unique interests and perspectives.
8. They never bring up past mistakes.
While dwelling on the past isn’t good, completely ignoring previous issues isn’t helpful either. Sometimes, discussing past mistakes can lead to growth and understanding in the relationship. Use past experiences as learning opportunities to strengthen your bond and improve your communication.
9. They handle all the household chores.
It might seem great to have a partner who does everything around the house, but it can lead to an unbalanced dynamic. Sharing responsibilities is important for a long-lasting partnership. Regularly discuss and adjust the division of household tasks to ensure both partners feel equally invested in maintaining your shared space.
10. They plan elaborate surprises constantly.
Surprises are fun, but constant grand gestures can become exhausting. They set a high bar that’s hard to maintain and can make everyday moments seem less special. Focus on appreciating the small, everyday acts of love and kindness that truly build a strong relationship.
11. They try to change for you.
While personal growth is positive, changing core aspects of oneself for a partner isn’t sustainable. It often leads to resentment and a loss of authenticity in the relationship. Instead, support each other’s personal growth while accepting and loving your partner for who they are.
12. They avoid all arguments.
Conflict avoidance might seem peaceful, but it’s not healthy long-term. Constructive arguments can lead to better understanding and growth in a relationship. Learn to approach disagreements as opportunities for growth and deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives.
13. They constantly check in on you.
Regular check-ins are nice, but constant messages and calls can become overwhelming. It might stem from care, but it can feel like a lack of trust or independence over time. Build trust by giving each other space and focusing on quality communication when you’re together.
14. They try to befriend all your friends.
While it’s great for your partner to get along with your friends, trying too hard to be part of every friendship can be overbearing. It’s important to maintain some separate social circles. Encourage individual friendships while also creating opportunities for your partner to naturally connect with your friends.
15. They always let you choose.
Having a partner who always defers to your preferences might seem ideal, but it can become frustrating. Relationships thrive on mutual decision-making and shared experiences. Encourage your partner to express their opinions and preferences, creating a balanced dynamic where both voices are heard.
16. They keep their emotions hidden.
A partner might think they’re being strong by never showing vulnerability, but it can create emotional distance. Sharing feelings, even difficult ones, is crucial for intimacy. Create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their emotions without fear of judgement.
17. They try to be your everything.
It’s romantic when someone wants to be your whole world, but it’s not realistic. Healthy relationships allow for outside interests, friendships, and support systems. Encourage each other to maintain individual identities and interests outside of the relationship.
18. They always take your side.
While support is crucial, a partner who agrees with you even when you’re wrong isn’t helpful. Sometimes, we need loved ones to gently point out our mistakes. Cultivate an environment where honest feedback is given and received with love and respect.
19. They give up their dreams for you.
It might seem like the ultimate sacrifice, but giving up personal aspirations for a relationship often leads to regret and resentment. Supporting each other’s dreams is more sustainable. Work together to find ways to pursue individual goals while building a shared life.
20. They never ask for help.
A partner who always wants to be the strong one and never asks for support might seem admirable, but it’s not healthy. Relationships are about mutual support and vulnerability. Encourage open communication about needs and challenges, fostering a partnership where both individuals feel comfortable asking for and receiving help.
