It’s natural to want to be appreciated in your relationship, but if your husband has forgotten how lucky he is to have you, in his life, it can be demoralising.
It’s not like you want him to sing your praises on a daily basis, but a little bit of acknowledgement for everything you do for him and your relationship would be nice sometimes. If you’re wondering what’s behind this dismissive behaviour, here are some possible explanations for why your husband is taking you for granted. It’s not always intentional, and he might even be horrified to know that’s how you feel. Either way, something has to change!
1. He’s got too comfortable in the relationship.
When the honeymoon phase wears off, it’s easy to slip into a routine. Your husband might have forgotten that relationships need constant nurturing. He’s settled into a comfort zone and doesn’t realise he needs to keep putting in effort to keep the spark alive. How wrong he is!
2. You’ve been together for a long time.
The longer you’re with someone, the easier it is to start taking them for granted. Your husband might have forgotten what life was like before you came along. He’s so used to having you around that he doesn’t appreciate how much you bring to his life anymore.
3. He’s distracted by work or other commitments.
If your husband is stressed about work or other responsibilities, he might be so focused on those things that he’s neglecting your relationship. That doesn’t excuse his behaviour, but it could explain why he’s not giving you the attention you deserve.
4. You’ve been doing everything for him.
If you’ve been taking care of all the household chores, managing the kids, and generally keeping his life running smoothly, he might have forgotten how much work you actually do. Sometimes, being too helpful can lead to being underappreciated. He should be pulling his weight!
5. He’s going through a personal crisis.
Sometimes, when people are struggling with their own issues, they become self-centred without realising it. If your husband is dealing with personal problems, he might be so wrapped up in his own world that he’s neglecting yours. It’s probably a temporary thing, and entirely unintentional.
6. You’ve stopped expressing your needs clearly.
Over time, we sometimes stop communicating our needs as clearly as we did at the start of a relationship. If you’ve stopped telling your husband what you need from him, he might not realise that he’s falling short. He’s not a mind-reader — you’ll have to speak up!
7. He’s lost sight of your personal growth.
As we grow and change, our partners don’t always keep up. Your husband might be taking you for granted because he hasn’t noticed or appreciated how you’ve evolved as a person since you first got together. Then again, maybe he hasn’t been paying attention.
8. You’ve fallen into predictable routines.
When life becomes too routine, it’s easy to start taking things for granted. If you and your husband always do the same things, he might have stopped appreciating the little things you do for him because they’ve become so expected. Try to shake things up a bit and breathe more life back into your relationship.
9. He’s comparing your relationship to other people’s.
If your husband is looking at other couples and thinking the grass is greener, he might be taking what you have for granted. He’s focusing on what he thinks he’s missing rather than appreciating what he has. He’d soon realise it if you were no longer around, that’s for sure!
10. You’ve stopped challenging each other.
A little healthy challenge can keep a relationship exciting. If you’ve stopped pushing each other to grow or try new things, your husband might be taking the relationship for granted because it’s no longer stimulating him in the same way. It’s not your job to keep him entertained, but a bit of back and forth in a relationship keeps things fresh.
11. He’s feeling insecure about himself.
Sometimes, when people are feeling low about themselves, they project those feelings onto their relationships. Your husband might be taking you for granted because he’s struggling with his own self-worth and doesn’t feel deserving of your love and attention.
12. You’ve lost your individual identities.
If you’ve become so wrapped up in being a couple that you’ve lost your individual identities, your husband might be taking the relationship for granted. It’s important to maintain your own interests and friendships to keep things fresh and exciting. You need your own life outside of your marriage!
13. He’s not feeling appreciated himself.
It’s a two-way street. If your husband feels like you don’t appreciate him, he might be responding by taking you for granted. Sometimes, we need to give appreciation to receive it in return. Show him how much he means to you, and let him know how much you notice and appreciate all he does.
14. You’ve stopped dating each other.
Remember when you used to go on proper dates? If you’ve stopped making an effort to have quality time together, your husband might have forgotten why he fell in love with you in the first place. Take at least one evening a week to do something special together. You might be surprised how quickly things shift.
15. He’s dealing with unresolved issues from past relationships.
Sometimes, people carry baggage from previous relationships into their marriages. Your husband might be taking you for granted because of unresolved issues or fears from his past. Sure, it’s weird for them to crop up now, but emotions are unpredictable like that sometimes.
16. You’ve stopped challenging his behaviour.
If you’ve stopped calling out behaviour that bothers you, your husband might not realise he’s taking you for granted. It’s important to speak up when something’s not right, even if it’s uncomfortable. He might not like it, but if he loves you, he’ll want to know.
17. He’s lost sight of your shared goals.
When couples stop talking about their shared dreams and aspirations, it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re together. Your husband might be taking you for granted because he’s forgotten about the future you’re building together.
18. You’re always available.
If you’re always there whenever your husband needs you, he might have started to expect it without appreciating it. Sometimes, a little healthy space can remind people of how much they value their partner. You’re not always going to be at his beck and call — that’s just not realistic.
19. He’s forgotten what life was like before you.
The longer you’re together, the harder it can be to remember what life was like when you were single. Your husband might have forgotten all the ways you’ve improved his life because he can’t imagine it any other way.
20. You’ve both stopped making an effort with your appearance.
While it’s normal to be more relaxed around each other over time, completely letting yourself go can sometimes lead to taking each other for granted. Making an effort to look good for each other occasionally can help reignite that spark.
