Ever feel like you’re the main character in everyone’s story? Like the world revolves around you and everyone else is just a supporting actor?
We all have moments of self-centredness, but if this sounds like your default setting, it might be time for a reality check. After all, a little confidence is great, but there’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and full-blown narcissism. So, if you’re constantly checking these boxes, it might be time to dial down the ego and reconnect with your humble side.
1. You have a grandiose sense of self-importance.
You might believe that you’re special and unique, deserving of admiration and attention. You might exaggerate your achievements, talents, or importance. You might expect people to recognise your “superiority” and cater to your needs.
2. You’re preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
You spend a lot of time daydreaming about achieving fame, fortune, or power. You might fantasise about being the best in your field, having a perfect body, or finding the perfect partner. These fantasies can be a way to escape from reality and to bolster your fragile self-esteem.
3. You believe you’re special and unique and can only be understood by other special or high-status people.
You might surround yourself with people who you perceive as successful, powerful, or famous. You might believe that only these people can truly understand you and appreciate your worth. This can lead to isolation and a sense of entitlement.
4. You require excessive admiration.
Source: Unsplash You need constant attention and validation from other people. You might fish for compliments, seek out praise, or feel devastated if you don’t receive the recognition you think you deserve. This need for admiration can be insatiable and can strain your relationships with people.
5. You have a sense of entitlement.
You believe you deserve special treatment and expect people to cater to your needs and desires. You might get angry or frustrated when you don’t get your way, and you might feel that the rules don’t apply to you. This sense of entitlement can make you difficult to be around and can lead to conflict.
6. You’re interpersonally exploitative.
You use people to achieve your own goals. You might manipulate, deceive, or take advantage of people without any regard for their feelings or well-being. This can damage your relationships and make it difficult for you to form genuine connections.
7. You lack empathy.
Source: Unsplash You have difficulty understanding or relating to other people’s feelings. You might dismiss their concerns, minimise their problems, or seem indifferent to their pain. This lack of empathy can make you seem cold, callous, and uncaring.
8. You’re often jealous of people or believe that they’re jealous of you.
Source: Unsplash You might feel jealous of other people’s success, possessions, or relationships. You might also believe that other people are envious of you, even if there’s no evidence to support this. This envy can lead to resentment, bitterness, and a constant need to one-up everyone.
9. You show arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes.
You might come across as arrogant, condescending, or dismissive. You interrupt people, talk over them, or belittle their opinions. This behaviour can be alienating and make it hard for people to connect with you.
10. You’re always the centre of attention.
Source: Unsplash You love being in the spotlight and will go to great lengths to get attention. You might dominate conversations, boast about your accomplishments, or make everything about yourself. This can be exhausting for other people, and can make you seem self-centred and attention-seeking.
11. You can’t handle any form of criticism, even if it’s constructive.
Source: Unsplash Don’t even think about offering a gentle suggestion or constructive feedback to a narcissist. They’ll interpret it as a personal attack, become defensive, and lash out at you. Their fragile ego can’t handle any hint of imperfection, so any critique, no matter how well-intentioned, is seen as a threat to their grandiose self-image.
12. You have a habit of gaslighting and manipulating people to get your way.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are experts at twisting reality to fit their narrative. They might deny things they said or did, blame other people for their mistakes, or make you question your own sanity. This manipulation tactic is called gaslighting, and it’s designed to make you doubt yourself and give the narcissist more control over the situation.
13. You have a history of discarding people once they no longer serve your needs.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are often charming and charismatic at first, but once they’ve got what they want from you, they’ll quickly lose interest and move on to the next conquest. They might ghost you, devalue you, or even try to sabotage your relationships with other people. This pattern of discarding people is a hallmark of narcissistic behaviour and can leave a trail of emotional wreckage in its wake.
14. You’re always trying to control the narrative and make yourself look good.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are obsessed with their image and will go to great lengths to maintain it. They might exaggerate their accomplishments, downplay their failures, or even lie to make themselves look better. They’re constantly seeking validation and approval from people, and they’ll manipulate situations or people to ensure they always come out on top.
15. You lack genuine empathy for other people and their struggles.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists have difficulty understanding or caring about other people’s feelings. They might seem cold, callous, or indifferent to your pain. They might also dismiss your concerns, minimise your problems, or invalidate your feelings. This lack of empathy can make it difficult to form a close or meaningful relationship with a narcissist.
16. You’re constantly seeking external validation and attention.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists have an insatiable need for attention and validation. They thrive on compliments, praise, and recognition. They might post selfies on social media, brag about their accomplishments, or even create drama to get a reaction from people. This constant need for external validation can be exhausting for those around them, who may feel like they’re constantly catering to the narcissist’s ego.
17. You have a tendency to blame people for your problems.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their own shortcomings or failures. They’ll often blame people for their problems, whether it’s their boss, their partner, or even their own children. This blame-shifting allows them to avoid facing their own flaws and to maintain their inflated sense of self-importance.
18. You have a hard time maintaining healthy relationships.
Source: Unsplash Due to their lack of empathy, manipulative tendencies, and constant need for attention, narcissists often struggle to maintain healthy and fulfilling relationships. Their partners and friends may feel emotionally drained, undervalued, and unappreciated. It can be difficult to connect with someone who is so self-absorbed and unable to reciprocate genuine care and support.
19. You often feel entitled to special treatment and privileges.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists believe they’re above the rules that apply to everyone else. They might expect preferential treatment, demand special favours, or act like they’re entitled to more than their fair share. This sense of entitlement can be irritating and frustrating for those around them, who may feel like they’re constantly being used or taken advantage of.
20. You lack remorse or guilt for your actions.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists rarely feel sorry for their hurtful actions or apologise for their mistakes. They might rationalise their behaviour, minimise the impact on other people, or even blame the victim for their own suffering. This lack of remorse can make it difficult to forgive them or move past the hurt they’ve caused.
