You might put your all into your relationships, but you may not always get the same in return.
No matter how much someone insists that they care about you and that you’re important to them, their behaviour may tell an entirely different story. If they’re doing any of these things, it’s clear they don’t value you, and you’re better off without them.
1. They always seem to forget your name.
You’ve met this person a dozen times, yet they still can’t remember what to call you. No, they’re not just forgetful — it’s a sign they don’t think you’re worth remembering. Whether it’s a colleague or a friend-of-a-friend, constantly getting your name wrong is a pretty clear indicator that you’re not on their priority list.
2. Your ideas are met with a lukewarm “that’s interesting”.
When you share a thought or suggestion, their go-to response is a non-committal “that’s interesting”. It’s not quite a dismissal, but it’s far from enthusiasm. They’re politely trying to brush off ideas without engaging with them. If you’re hearing it a lot, chances are your input isn’t being taken seriously.
3. They’re always “too busy” to catch up with you.
Every time you try to make plans, they’ve got a packed schedule. But somehow, they always seem to have time for other people. It’s not that they’re actually swamped — they’re just not prioritising you. If someone consistently can’t find time for you, it’s a pretty clear sign that you’re not high on their list.
4. Your achievements are downplayed as “lucky breaks”.
Worked your backside off for that promotion? Spent months perfecting that project? When you share your success, they brush it off as a fluke or good fortune. This minimises your hard work and talent, and it implies that you didn’t really earn your achievements. It’s a sneaky way of cutting you down to size.
5. They never seem to remember important details about your life.
You’ve mentioned your job title a hundred times, but they still get it wrong. Or, they ask about your partner by the wrong name. This isn’t just forgetfulness — it’s a sign that they’re not really listening when you speak. If someone can’t be bothered to remember basic facts about your life, they probably don’t value you much.
6. Your opinions are frequently met with “well, actually…”
Every time you express a view, they’re quick to correct or contradict you. Their need to constantly one-up you isn’t just annoying — it’s a way of undermining your knowledge and expertise. If someone’s always trying to prove you wrong, they probably don’t respect your intelligence very much.
7. They often talk over you or interrupt you mid-sentence.
You’re in the middle of making a point, and suddenly, they’re talking over you. They clearly don’t respect what you have to say. If someone consistently cuts you off, they’re sending a clear message that they don’t think your words are worth hearing.
8. Your wins are met with backhanded compliments.
“Wow, I’m surprised you pulled that off!” or “That’s pretty good… for you.” These so-called compliments are actually thinly veiled insults. They imply that your success is unexpected or out of character, which subtly undermining your abilities and achievements.
9. They’re always quick to point out your mistakes.
Source: Unsplash Everyone slips up sometimes, but if someone seems to take particular joy in highlighting your errors, that’s a red flag. Constantly drawing attention to your mistakes, no matter how small, is a way of knocking your confidence and making you feel incompetent.
10. Your ideas are often “jokingly” dismissed.
Source: Unsplash “Haha, good one!” they say, when you were being serious. Brushing off your ideas as jokes is a way of belittling you without seeming outright rude. It’s their way of saying that they don’t take you or your thoughts seriously.
11. They regularly compare you to other people in negative ways.
Source: Unsplash “Why can’t you be more like Sarah?” or “John would have done it this way.” These comparisons aren’t meant to be helpful — they’re meant to make you feel inadequate. If someone’s always measuring you against other people, they’re implying you don’t measure up on your own.
12. Your concerns are often dismissed as “overreacting”.
Source: Unsplash When you express worry or upset about something, they’re quick to tell you you’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s their way of invalidating your feelings and experiences, implying that your emotional responses aren’t valid or worth considering.
13. They rarely ask for your input or opinion.
In group discussions or decision-making processes, you notice your opinion is rarely sought. Whether it’s at work or in social settings, if people aren’t asking what you think, it might be because they don’t value your perspective.
14. Your boundaries are often treated as inconveniences.
When you set a limit or say no to something, they act put out or annoyed. That’s because they don’t respect your needs and personal space. If someone consistently treats your boundaries as unreasonable, they’re showing they don’t value your comfort or autonomy.
15. They’re quick to take credit for your work or ideas.
You come up with a brilliant solution, only to have someone else present it as their own. Their intellectual theft is more than just obnoxious — it’s a sign that they don’t value your contributions enough to give you proper credit.
16. Your time is treated as less valuable than theirs.
They’re always late to meet you, or they cancel plans at the last minute without apology because they don’t see your time as important as their own. In their minds, their schedule matters more than yours.
17. They often “forget” to include you in plans or activities.
Source: Unsplash You find out after the fact that your mates went out without you, or your colleagues had a meeting you weren’t invited to. These “accidental” exclusions are often not so accidental at all. If you’re frequently left out, it might be because they don’t value your presence.
18. Your accomplishments are met with immediate one-upmanship.
Source: Pexels You share some good news, and they immediately trump it with their own story because they’re more interested in maintaining their own status than celebrating your wins. It’s a way of keeping you in your place.
19. They always use dismissive body language around you.
Eye-rolling, sighing, or checking their phone while you’re talking — these non-verbal cues speak volumes. If someone’s body language consistently shows disinterest or irritation when you’re speaking, they’re not-so-subtly telling you they don’t value what you have to say.
20. Your efforts are often met with “I expected more from you”.
No matter how hard you try, it’s never quite good enough. This is particularly insidious because it masquerades as high expectations, when really it’s just a way of constantly moving the goalposts. If someone’s always expressing disappointment in your efforts, they’re undermining your sense of competence and worth.
