Everyone has times when they slip into a “me, myself, and I” mindset.
However, if these moments become a pattern, it turns into selfishness and needs to be addressed. Here are some signs that you might be unintentionally giving off those “self-centred brat” vibes (as well as a few suggestions on how you can change things).
1. You’re a hater when it comes to other people’s success.
When a friend shares exciting news like a promotion or a new relationship, do you feel a pang of envy instead of genuine happiness for them? If you find yourself downplaying their achievements or quickly changing the subject back to yourself, it could be a sign that you’re struggling with your own insecurities. Remember, someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own. Celebrate their wins as if they were your own, and who knows, their positive energy might just rub off on you.
2. You never let anyone finish what they’re saying.
Whether it’s a conversation with a friend or a colleague, interrupting someone while they’re speaking is a major red flag. It shows that you value your own thoughts and opinions more than theirs, and it can leave them feeling unheard and disrespected. Practice active listening and let people finish their thoughts before jumping in with your own. Remember, a conversation is a two-way street, not a monologue.
3. You complain a lot about your own problems, but never listen to anyone else’s.
We all need to vent sometimes, but if your conversations always revolve around your own problems, and you never take the time to ask about what’s going on in other people’s lives, it can come across as self-centred. Make a conscious effort to show genuine interest in the people around you. Ask them how they’re doing, offer a listening ear, and be supportive of their challenges. A little empathy goes a long way in building strong and meaningful relationships.
4. You never offer to help people.
Do you always expect other people to pitch in, but rarely offer assistance yourself? Whether it’s helping a friend move, volunteering for a cause you care about, or simply offering to cook dinner for a stressed-out roommate, small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Step outside of your comfort zone and show that you care about other people. Not only will you make a positive impact, but you might also discover a sense of fulfilment that comes from helping other people.
5. You always want to be the centre of attention.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s a social gathering or a work meeting, do you always find yourself craving the spotlight? Do you dominate conversations, interrupt people to tell your own stories, or get annoyed when the attention shifts away from you? If so, it’s time to take a step back and consider the impact of your behaviour on other people. Learn to share the spotlight, actively listen, and genuinely celebrate their achievements.
6. You judge people quickly and always tear them down.
Source: Unsplash Do you find yourself constantly criticising people’s choices, appearances, or opinions? Do you gossip about people behind their backs or put them down to make yourself feel better? If so, it’s time to check your ego at the door. Everyone is on their own journey, and it’s not your place to judge. Focus on your own growth and development, and practice empathy and compassion towards people. Remember, kindness is always in style.
7. You never think about how your behaviour affects other people.
Source: Unsplash Do you often make decisions without thinking about how they might affect the people around you? Do you cancel plans at the last minute, leave your messes for other people to clean up, or make promises you don’t keep? If so, it’s time to start thinking beyond yourself. Consider the consequences of your actions before you act, and strive to be more reliable and considerate. A little thoughtfulness can go a long way in building trust and respect.
8. You’re always talking about yourself.
Source: Unsplash Do your conversations always seem to circle back to you? Do you share every detail of your life, from your latest accomplishments to your mundane daily routines, without asking about other people’s lives? If so, it’s time to shift the focus. Ask questions, show genuine interest, and learn to listen more than you speak. You might be surprised by how much you can learn from people when you take the time to listen.
9. You never take responsibility for your mistakes.
Source: Unsplash Do you always have an excuse for your shortcomings? Do you blame everyone else when things go wrong, or refuse to acknowledge your own role in the situation? If so, it’s time to take ownership of your actions. Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s important to learn from them and take responsibility. Apologise when necessary, make amends, and strive to do better next time. You’ll not only grow as a person, but you’ll also gain respect.
10. You expect special treatment.
Source: Unsplash Do you feel entitled to certain privileges or benefits that other people don’t have? Do you expect to be treated like a VIP wherever you go, or get annoyed when you don’t receive special attention? If so, it’s time to check your sense of entitlement. Remember, everyone deserves to be treated with respect and consideration, but no one is inherently more special than anyone else.
11. You rarely say thank you.
Source: Unsplash Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can strengthen relationships and make all of your interactions way better. If you rarely express appreciation for people’s kindness and generosity, it can come across as self-centred and entitled. Make a conscious effort to say thank you for even the smallest things, whether it’s a friend holding the door open for you or a colleague complimenting your work. A simple thank you can go a long way in showing that you value and appreciate people.
12. You take credit for other people’s work.
Source: Unsplash Have you ever taken credit for an idea that wasn’t yours, or allowed someone else to do the heavy lifting on a project while you basked in the glory? If so, it’s time to start giving credit where credit is due. Acknowledge other people’s contributions, share the spotlight, and be honest about your own role in a project. Taking credit for other people’s work is not only unethical, but it also damages your reputation and relationships.
13. You make a lot of promises you don’t keep.
Source: Unsplash Do you often commit to things you can’t follow through on? Do you make plans with friends and then cancel at the last minute, or offer to help someone out and then forget all about it? If so, it’s time to start being more reliable. Your word is your bond, and when you consistently break promises, it decimates trust and damages your relationships. Be realistic about what you can commit to, and follow through on your promises, even if it’s inconvenient.
14. You don’t ask for help, even when you clearly need it.
Source: Unsplash Do you feel like you have to do everything yourself? Do you refuse help even when you’re struggling because you’re afraid of appearing weak or incompetent? If so, it’s time to let go of that ego and learn to ask for help when you need it. Everyone needs support from time to time, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and self-awareness. Reach out to your friends, family, or colleagues, and let them know how they can support you. You’ll not only lighten your load, but you’ll also strengthen your relationships. It’s not all about you, you know — other people are capable too.
15. You’re always late.
Source: Unsplash Do you consistently show up late to appointments, meetings, or social gatherings? Do you keep people waiting without offering an apology or explanation? If so, it’s time to start respecting other people’s time. Being chronically late shows a lack of consideration for other people and can damage your relationships and reputation. Make an effort to be punctual, and if you’re running late, let people know as soon as possible and offer a sincere apology.
16. You compare yourself to other people all the time.
Do you always measure your own worth and achievements against everyone else’s? Do you feel envious of their successes or belittle your own accomplishments? If so, it’s time to stop the comparison game. Everyone is on their own unique path, and comparing yourself to other people is a recipe for unhappiness. Focus on your own goals and aspirations, celebrate your wins, and learn from your mistakes. Remember, you are enough.
17. You refuse to admit when you’re wrong.
Source: Unsplash Do you always have to be right? Do you find it difficult to say you’re sorry or admit when you’ve made a mistake? If so, it’s time to embrace humility. Everyone makes mistakes, and being able to admit when you’re wrong is a sign of maturity and strength. Learn to apologise sincerely, take responsibility for your actions, and be willing to learn and grow from your mistakes.
18. You struggle to empathise with people.
Source: Unsplash Do you struggle to understand or relate to other people’s feelings? Do you dismiss their concerns or offer unsolicited advice instead of listening and validating their emotions? If so, it’s time to cultivate empathy. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their perspective. It’s a crucial skill for building strong and meaningful relationships. Practice active listening, ask open-ended questions, and validate other people’s feelings, even if you don’t agree with them.
19. You rarely give genuine compliments.
Do you find it difficult to offer sincere compliments to other people? Do you feel threatened by other people’s successes or downplay their achievements? If so, it’s time to start recognising and celebrating the good in people. A genuine compliment can brighten someone’s day and strengthen your relationship with them. Notice and acknowledge the positive qualities in other people, and offer compliments regularly.
20. You take more than you give.
Do you always expect everyone to give to you, but rarely offer anything in return? Do you take advantage of their generosity or take them for granted? If so, it’s time to shift your focus from taking to giving. Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity. Make an effort to give back to the people who support you, whether it’s through acts of service, gifts, or simply offering a listening ear. Remember, the more you give, the more you receive.
