We’ve all met those smooth talkers who seem to effortlessly charm their way into our lives.
Sometimes, these people are just naturally charismatic, but other times, they might be narcissists employing subtle tactics to gain our trust and admiration. It’s not always easy to spot a narcissist, as they’re often masters of manipulation. However, certain phrases and behaviours can be telltale signs.
1. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but…”
Source: Unsplash This phrase creates an illusion of vulnerability and trust, making you more likely to reciprocate by opening up yourself. However, it can be a manipulative tactic used to gain valuable information.
2. “I’m worried about [person’s name], but I know I could do it better.”
By subtly criticising people under the guise of concern, narcissists elevate themselves and might even garner your sympathy.
3. “Have you ever considered trying [unsolicited advice/solution]?”
Source: Unsplash Narcissists love to be seen as the problem-solver and often offer unsolicited advice to showcase their supposed expertise and make you feel indebted to them.
4. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”
Source: Unsplash Excessive flattery is a common narcissistic tactic used to manipulate your emotions and gain your trust. Be wary of compliments that seem too good to be true.
5. “When I [impressive accomplishment], it was…”
Narcissists constantly brag about their achievements to assert their superiority and impress you. Genuine confidence doesn’t require constant self-promotion.
6. “You’re the only one who truly understands me.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase creates a deep connection, but it can also be a manipulative tactic to create a sense of exclusivity and make you feel special.
7. “This is just a small token of my appreciation.”
Source: Unsplash Narcissists shower you with gifts or favours to create a sense of obligation and gain leverage over your actions and decisions.
8. “I love [your interest/opinion] too!”
Source: Unsplash Narcissists mirror your interests and opinions to create a sense of connection. Be cautious if someone seems to be a carbon copy of you.
9. “You wouldn’t believe what [person’s name] did to me.”
Source: Unsplash By playing the victim, narcissists elicit your sympathy and make you feel protective of them. While empathy is important, be wary of perpetual victimhood.
10. “This opportunity is only available for a limited time.”
Creating a sense of urgency or scarcity is a manipulation tactic used to make you act impulsively and choose options you might later regret.
11. “Lighten up, it was just a joke.”
Narcissists test your boundaries by pushing your buttons and then dismissing your concerns to see how much they can get away with.
12. “I’m just worried about you spending so much time with [friend/family member].”
Source: Unsplash Narcissists try to isolate you from your support systems to gain control over your life and make you dependent on them.
13. “You’re overreacting. That never happened.”
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where narcissists deny your reality or make you doubt your sanity to gain control.
14. “If you really loved me, you would [demand/request].”
Narcissists use guilt trips and emotional blackmail to manipulate you into doing what they want.
15. “You’re so [negative trait that actually applies to them].”
Narcissists project their own flaws and insecurities onto other people to deflect blame and avoid taking responsibility.
16. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Narcissists rarely apologise sincerely or take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they offer non-apologies that shift the blame back to you.
17. “I’m the only one who’s been there for you.”
Narcissists often exaggerate their role in your life to make you feel indebted and reliant on them, dismissing other people’s support.
18. “You’re lucky to have me.”
This phrase reinforces the idea that the narcissist is superior and that you should be grateful for their presence, undermining your self-worth.
19. “I know what’s best for you.”
Narcissists often believe they know better than you and may try to control your decisions under the guise of caring for you.
20. “You’re too sensitive.”
This phrase dismisses your feelings and invalidates your emotions, making you question your own reactions and perceptions.
21. “Why are you always so dramatic?”
Narcissists may accuse you of being overly dramatic or emotional to deflect from their own problematic behaviour.
22. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
This phrase is often used to excuse hurtful or manipulative behaviour, making you doubt your own interpretation of their actions.
23. “You’re misremembering things.”
By questioning your memory and perception, narcissists aim to make you doubt yourself and your reality.
24. “It’s your fault for making me [negative emotion].”
Narcissists refuse to take responsibility for their own emotions and instead blame you for their negative reactions.
