All women have experienced the moment (or many moments) when the men in their lives do something that makes you want to scream into a pillow.
It’s not always about major relationship dealbreakers, but those everyday inconsiderate habits that slowly chip eat at your patience and make you wonder if they’re actually paying attention. These are some of the most thoughtless, inconsiderate things men tend to do that do women’s heads in, as well as a bit of advice for guys to follow to change course.
1. Mansplaining things you already know
Nothing kills a conversation faster than a man launching into a detailed explanation of something you clearly understand, especially when it’s your own area of expertise. Whether it’s how your own job works, a hobby you’ve been doing for years, or basic life skills, the assumption that you need everything spelled out feels patronising and dismissive.
Instead of jumping straight into explanation mode, try asking questions first like “Have you dealt with this before?” or “What’s your take on this?” It shows respect for the other person’s knowledge and experience. If someone asks for clarification, they’ll let you know.
2. Leaving emotional labour entirely to women
The mental load of remembering birthdays, planning social events, managing household schedules, and maintaining relationships often falls completely on women’s shoulders. Men benefit from these efforts, but rarely acknowledge the time and energy required to keep everyone’s lives running smoothly.
Start taking ownership of some of these responsibilities without being asked. Put important dates in your own calendar, remember to check in with friends and family, and notice when things around the house need attention. Your partner shouldn’t have to manage your social and domestic life like she’s your personal assistant.
3. Interrupting or talking over women in conversations
Studies consistently show that men interrupt women far more frequently than they interrupt other men, often without even realising they’re doing it. That behaviour dismisses what women have to say and sends the message that their thoughts aren’t worth hearing completely.
Make a conscious effort to let people finish their sentences and thoughts before jumping in. If you catch yourself interrupting, acknowledge it with a simple “Sorry, please continue” and actually listen to the response. Creating space for other people to speak fully shows basic respect for their perspectives.
4. Acting helpless with basic household tasks
Pretending you don’t know how to load a dishwasher, do laundry properly, or clean a bathroom might seem harmless, but it forces someone else to either do these tasks for you or accept living in mess. Your weaponised incompetence puts an unfair burden on the people around you (mainly your partner) and suggests you think certain work is beneath you.
Learn how to do basic adult tasks properly and take initiative in keeping shared spaces clean. If you genuinely don’t know how to do something, look it up online or ask for guidance once, then remember the instructions for next time. Taking responsibility for your environment shows maturity and consideration.
5. Making jokes at women’s expense in group settings
Using women as the punchline of jokes, especially in public, creates an uncomfortable dynamic where calling out the behaviour seems dramatic or humourless. These comments often disguise genuine criticism or frustration as “just joking around,” making it harder to address directly.
Examine whether your humour comes at someone else’s expense, and consider how it might make them feel in front of other people. Good-natured teasing between close friends is different from making someone the target of jokes they haven’t agreed to participate in. Real comedy doesn’t require putting people down.
6. Dismissing women’s safety concerns as paranoia
When women mention feeling uncomfortable walking alone at night, being cautious around strangers, or taking safety precautions, dismissing these concerns as overreaction shows a fundamental lack of understanding about different lived experiences. These aren’t irrational fears but practical responses to genuine risks.
Listen when women share safety concerns and respect the precautions they take, even if they seem unnecessary to you. Offer practical support, like walking someone to their car or checking in when they’re travelling alone, rather than suggesting they’re worrying about nothing.
7. Checking out other women obviously in front of partners
Everyone notices attractive people, but making it obvious that you’re looking at other women while with your partner shows a complete lack of awareness and respect. Whether it’s lingering stares, comments about other women’s appearance, or following attractive women on social media obsessively, this behaviour makes partners feel invisible and disrespected.
Keep your appreciation for other people discrete and focus your attention on the person you’re actually with. If you’re in a committed relationship, your partner deserves to feel like your priority when you’re together, not like they’re competing for your attention with every attractive person who walks by.
8. Giving unsolicited advice instead of just listening
When someone shares a problem or frustrating situation, jumping straight into solution mode without being asked can feel dismissive of their emotions and intelligence. Sometimes people want support and validation rather than a fix-it plan, and assuming they haven’t already considered obvious solutions can be condescending.
Ask whether someone wants advice or just wants to vent before offering solutions. Phrases like “Do you want me to brainstorm with you or would you prefer I just listen?” show that you understand different types of support. Sometimes the most helpful thing is acknowledging that a situation sucks without trying to solve it.
9. Not following through on plans or commitments
Consistently showing up late, cancelling at the last minute, or forgetting plans altogether sends the message that your time isn’t valuable and that other people’s schedules don’t matter. Unreliability creates stress and forces everyone to have backup plans or make excuses for your behaviour.
Treat commitments seriously by putting them in your calendar and setting reminders if needed. If something comes up that prevents you from following through, give as much notice as possible and suggest specific alternatives rather than vague promises to “do it another time.” Reliability builds trust and shows respect for people’s time.
10. Taking credit for shared work or ideas
Whether it’s at work, in social situations, or during collaborative projects, taking credit for ideas or contributions that weren’t entirely your own undermines people and misrepresents reality. It’s particularly damaging when it happens repeatedly or in professional settings where recognition affects career advancement.
Acknowledge contributions from other people explicitly when sharing successes or presenting ideas. Use phrases like “Building on Sarah’s suggestion…” or “As the team developed this concept…” to give credit where it’s due. Sharing recognition doesn’t diminish your own achievements, but shows integrity and respect for collaborative efforts.
11. Making women responsible for your emotions
Expecting women to manage your moods, cheer you up when you’re down, or walk on eggshells to avoid triggering your anger puts an unfair emotional burden on them. This dynamic makes women feel responsible for your well-being, while their own emotional needs often go unaddressed.
Take responsibility for managing your own emotional responses and finding healthy outlets for stress or frustration. Develop your own coping strategies, whether that’s exercise, talking to friends, or professional support when needed. Partners should enhance your emotional life, not serve as your primary emotional support system.
12. Ignoring the word “no” in any context
Whether it’s continuing to argue after someone has declined your invitation, pushing for explanations when someone sets a boundary, or treating “no” as an opening for negotiation, this behaviour shows disrespect for other people’s autonomy and decision-making ability.
Accept “no” as a complete sentence that doesn’t require justification or further discussion. Respecting boundaries builds trust and shows that you value consent in all areas of life. People have the right to decline requests without having to provide detailed explanations or face continued pressure to change their minds.
13. Acting like childcare is “babysitting” when it’s your own kids
Referring to time spent caring for your own children as “babysitting” or treating childcare as a favour you’re doing for your partner reveals outdated attitudes about parenting responsibilities. Language like that suggests that childcare is primarily the mother’s job, with fathers occasionally helping out when needed.
Recognise that parenting is a shared responsibility that doesn’t require praise or recognition for doing basic childcare tasks. Take initiative in planning activities, remembering school events, and handling routine childcare without waiting for instructions or expecting gratitude for being an involved parent.
14. Making everything about sexual innuendo
Constantly turning conversations sexual, making inappropriate comments about women’s bodies, or treating every interaction as an opportunity for sexual humour creates uncomfortable environments where women can’t just exist without their sexuality being the focus of attention.
Learn to engage with women as complete people rather than potential sexual partners or objects of desire. Keep sexual commentary out of professional settings, casual friendships, and group conversations unless you’re certain it’s welcome and appropriate. Women want to be valued for their thoughts, skills, and personalities, not constantly reminded of their sexual appeal.
15. Never apologising or admitting when you’re wrong
Refusing to acknowledge mistakes, deflecting blame onto other people, or offering non-apologies like “I’m sorry you feel that way” prevents resolution of conflicts and suggests that your ego is more important than relationships or fairness.
Learn to give genuine apologies that acknowledge your actions, take responsibility without excuses, and include specific plans for doing better next time. Admitting when you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak. Instead, it shows maturity and respect for people’s experiences and feelings.
16. Treating service workers poorly
How someone treats waiters, shop assistants, customer service representatives, or other service workers reveals their true character and attitude towards people they perceive as having less power. Being rude, impatient, or dismissive to service workers shows a fundamental lack of respect for other people.
Treat everyone with basic courtesy and patience, regardless of their job or position. Remember that service workers are people doing their jobs, often under difficult conditions, and they deserve the same respect you’d want in any interaction. Your behaviour towards service workers is often a woman’s first insight into how you treat people when you think it doesn’t matter.
