You’re not official with the person you’re dating yet, but you’re hoping it’s heading in that direction.
Things are going well and you really like each other. You’ve stopped dating anyone else because you like them so much, and you think (hope?) they feel the same way, but you’re not sure if they’re secretly keeping their options open. If your gut is telling you something’s off, or if you just want clarity, here are 15 ways to find out if someone is on dating apps—without driving yourself up the wall.
1. Do a quick Google search.
It might sound obvious, but sometimes the simplest approach works best. Search their name along with words like “dating profile,” “Tinder,” “Bumble,” or “Hinge.” Some people’s profiles or related links might show up in search results, especially if they’ve used unique photos or details.
2. Check for social media hints.
Many dating apps allow users to connect their social media profiles. If you notice new profile photos that look like they’re meant to catch attention, or captions that sound like they’re advertising availability, it might be a clue. Also, look for new followers or interactions that seem out of place.
3. See if they’re suddenly more private with their phone.
If they used to be relaxed about leaving their phone out but now guard it closely, it could be a sign they’re hiding something. Frequent swiping, closing apps quickly, or keeping their phone face-down during dates might indicate that they’re still active on dating platforms.
4. Notice any changes in their online activity.
If they’re texting less often, taking longer to reply, or frequently going “off the grid,” they might be spending time chatting with other people on dating apps. Sudden changes in communication patterns can be a red flag, especially if there’s no other clear reason.
5. Ask mutual friends.
Source: Unsplash If you share friends or acquaintances, a subtle way to find out is to ask them. They might have spotted this person’s profile while swiping through apps. Keep it casual—something like, “Hey, have you seen [name] on any dating apps recently?” You’d be surprised how often mutual friends can provide intel.
6. Use social media to look for clues.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, people share their dating app experiences or funny conversations on social media. Check their stories, posts, or tagged content for any hints that they’re still active on the apps. If they’re sharing memes about dating app disasters or referencing matches, they might still be swiping.
7. Look for dating app notifications.
Source: Unsplash If you happen to see their phone screen light up with notifications, and you spot a familiar dating app logo (like Tinder’s flame or Bumble’s bee), that’s a pretty clear sign. You don’t need to snoop—sometimes these things pop up naturally during conversations or casual hangouts.
8. Ask them directly.
Source: Unsplash If you’re comfortable, the most straightforward approach is to ask. A respectful, honest conversation can clear the air. Say something like, “I really enjoy spending time with you. Are you still on dating apps?” Their reaction and response will tell you a lot about where they stand.
9. Create your own dating app profile.
Source: Unsplash If you’re feeling bold, you can join or re-join a dating app yourself and see if their profile comes up. This method isn’t foolproof (dating apps use algorithms that don’t guarantee you’ll see every profile), but it’s a direct way to find out if they’re still active.
10. Use reverse image search.
If you have a photo of them that you suspect might be on a dating profile, use Google’s reverse image search. Upload their picture to see if it appears on any dating sites or apps. This technique can sometimes reveal profiles that are hidden or hard to find through normal searches.
11. Notice if they’re overly secretive about their personal life.
When someone is still active on dating apps, they might avoid sharing too much about their daily life or future plans. If they’re dodging questions about exclusivity or where the relationship is heading, it could be because they’re keeping their options open.
12. Listen for slip-ups.
Pay attention to what they say in casual conversation. If they mention someone you don’t know or refer to recent “swiping” experiences, these slip-ups might hint that they’re still on dating apps. Sometimes people give away more than they intend without realising it.
13. Pay attention to how they use their phone in public.
Are they often swiping through something when you’re out together? If you notice quick, repetitive swipes or them looking intensely at their screen, it might be a dating app. Of course, they could be doing something innocent, but repeated patterns can be telling.
14. Look for signs they’re still dating around.
If they’re vague about their availability or seem to be keeping you at arm’s length, they might still be dating other people. Unexplained absences, last-minute cancellations, or inconsistent behaviour can be signs they’re keeping their options open.
15. Trust your intuition.
Sometimes, you just *know* something isn’t right. If your gut is telling you they’re still on dating apps, it’s worth exploring further. Your intuition is often based on subtle cues you’re picking up. Don’t ignore it, but also approach the situation with a calm and rational mindset.
