You probably see yourself as a pretty decent person, but is that the case?
Sure, you might not be a complete narcissist, but you still might be doing things that send a message to the world that you’re not very nice. If you’re guilty of any of these behaviours, sorry, but you’re a bit of a jerk. The good news is that you don’t have to be — if you recognise yourself in any of these, you can change your behaviour!
1. You never apologise — and when you do, it’s not sincere.
If your apologies always come with a “but” or you find ways to blame people, you’re probably a jerk. Genuine apologies acknowledge hurt without excuses. They focus on the impact of your actions, not your intentions. If you can’t remember the last time you said “I’m sorry” without qualification, it’s time for some self-reflection.
2. You constantly interrupt people when they’re talking.
Source: Unsplash Chronic interrupters show a blatant disregard for other people’s thoughts and feelings. If you can’t wait for someone to finish speaking before jumping in with your own opinion, you’re demonstrating that you value your voice over theirs. It’s not just rude; it’s a sign you lack basic respect for other people.
3. You gossip excessively.
Everyone occasionally talks about people, but if most of your conversations revolve around tearing people down, you’re likely a jerk. Constant gossip reveals insecurity and a need to elevate yourself by belittling people. It’s toxic behaviour that erodes trust and relationships.
4. You never return favours.
Relationships should have give and take. If you’re always on the receiving end of favours but never reciprocate, you’re taking advantage of people’s kindness. Jerks often have a sense of entitlement that blinds them to the need for reciprocity in relationships.
5. You make everything about you.
Source: Unsplash If you can’t have a conversation without steering it back to your experiences or opinions, you’re showing narcissistic tendencies. Jerks often lack the empathy to recognise that other people’s stories and feelings are just as valid and important as their own.
6. You refuse to admit when you’re wrong.
Source: Unsplash Being wrong doesn’t make you weak; refusing to admit it does. If you double down on incorrect statements or actions rather than acknowledging mistakes, you’re prioritising your ego over truth and growth. It’s a classic jerk move that pushes people away.
7. You’re consistently late.
Chronic lateness sends a clear message: your time is more valuable than everyone else’s. It’s disrespectful and shows a lack of consideration for other people. If you’re always running late without remorse, you’re likely exhibiting jerk behaviour.
8. You never ask about people.
Conversations with jerks tend to be one-sided. If you realise you rarely ask about people’s lives or opinions, it’s a sign you’re not interested in anyone but yourself. Genuine interest in your fellow human beings is a fundamental aspect of being a decent human being.
9. You’re rude to service workers.
How you treat people in service positions says a lot about your character. If you’re dismissive, demanding, or outright rude to wait staff, retail workers, or customer service representatives, you’re definitely behaving like a jerk. These interactions reveal your true colours when you think there are no consequences.
10. You always have to be right.
Source: Pexels If every disagreement becomes a battle to prove your point, you’re exhausting to be around. Jerks often conflate being right with being worthy. The need to win every argument shows insecurity and a lack of respect for other people’s perspectives.
11. You can’t take criticism.
Source: Unsplash Reacting defensively or aggressively to any form of criticism is a clear jerk indicator. If you can’t handle feedback without lashing out or making excuses, you’re showing an inability to grow and learn. Mature individuals can accept criticism gracefully, even if they disagree with it.
12. You regularly use the phrase “I’m just being honest”.
This is often a cover for being unnecessarily cruel. Honesty without tact or consideration for other people’s feelings is just rudeness. If you find yourself using this phrase to justify hurtful comments, you’re likely being a jerk under the guise of “truth-telling”.
13. You never follow through on commitments.
Consistently breaking promises or bailing on plans shows a lack of respect for people’s time and feelings. If you’re always the one cancelling at the last minute or forgetting to do what you said you would, you’re demonstrating that your word means little. It’s selfish behaviour that erodes trust.
14. You’re always the victim.
If your narrative is that the world is against you and nothing is ever your fault, you’re likely a jerk in denial. Taking responsibility for your actions and their consequences is part of being a mature adult. Constant victimhood is manipulative and exhausting for those around you.
15. You ignore boundaries.
Respecting everyone’s physical, emotional, and personal boundaries is crucial. If you regularly push past people’s comfort zones, dismiss their stated limits, or invade their personal space, you’re behaving like a jerk. It shows a fundamental lack of respect for people’s autonomy.
16. You’re competitive about everything.
Healthy competition can be fun, but if you turn every interaction into a contest you must win, you’re likely insufferable to be around. This behaviour often stems from insecurity and a need to prove your worth by diminishing other people. It’s exhausting and pushes people away.
17. You like making people uncomfortable.
If you find amusement or pleasure in other people’s discomfort or embarrassment, that’s a big red flag. Jerks often disguise cruelty as humour, using phrases like “It’s just a joke” to deflect criticism. True humour brings people together; it doesn’t tear them down or make them feel small.
18. You’re never grateful for anything.
Gratitude is a fundamental part of positive human interaction. If you can’t remember the last time you genuinely thanked someone or acknowledged their efforts, you’re likely taking people for granted. Jerks often have a sense of entitlement that blinds them to the kindness and contributions of those around them.
