We all have those moments where we wonder if we’re being the best partner we can be.
Relationships take effort and self-awareness, and sometimes we might fall short — it happens. It’s okay to question ourselves and strive for improvement. So, if you find yourself wondering if you could be doing more/better, here are a few signs that you might need to step up your game.
1. You consistently prioritise your needs over your partner’s.
Source: Unsplash Relationships are a two-way street. If you always put your desires first, neglecting your partner’s feelings or needs, it can create resentment and distance. It’s important to find a balance where both of your needs are met and both of you feel heard and valued.
2. You struggle to apologise or admit when you’re wrong.
Everyone makes mistakes, but owning up to them is a sign of maturity and respect for your partner. If you find it difficult to say sorry or acknowledge your shortcomings, it can damage trust and create unnecessary conflict. Remember, apologising doesn’t make you weak; it shows that you care about your partner’s feelings.
3. You dismiss or invalidate your partner’s feelings.
When your partner expresses their emotions, do you brush them off, tell them they’re overreacting, or downplay their concerns? This can be incredibly hurtful and make them feel unheard and unsupported. Validating their feelings doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean showing empathy and understanding.
4. You don’t make time for quality moments together.
Life can get busy, but neglecting quality time with your partner can lead to a disconnect and feeling of neglect. Whether it’s a date night, a shared hobby, or simply cuddling on the couch, making time for meaningful connection is essential for a healthy relationship.
5. You keep secrets or withhold information.
Honesty and transparency are vital for building trust. If you’re hiding things from your partner, whether big or small, it can create suspicion and damage the foundation of your relationship. Open communication is key to creating a deeper connection and understanding.
6. You criticise or belittle your partner.
Words can hurt more than physical wounds. If you constantly criticise your partner’s appearance, choices, or personality, it can harm their self-esteem and create a toxic environment. Focus on building them up with positive reinforcement and constructive feedback instead of tearing them down.
7. You don’t show appreciation or affection.
Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated. If you rarely express your love or gratitude towards your partner, it can leave them feeling unvalued and unimportant. Small gestures of affection, compliments, and acts of kindness can go a long way in strengthening your bond.
8. You don’t support your partner’s goals and dreams.
A healthy relationship involves mutual support and encouragement. If you’re not interested in your partner’s aspirations, dismiss their dreams, or actively discourage them from pursuing their goals, it can create resentment and a lack of fulfilment in the relationship. Be their cheerleader, celebrate their successes, and offer a helping hand when they need it.
9. You struggle to compromise or find common ground.
Relationships require flexibility and a willingness to meet your partner halfway. If you’re always insistent on having things your way, refusing to budge on disagreements, or unwilling to consider your partner’s perspective, it can create a power struggle and make it difficult to resolve conflicts amicably.
10. You compare your partner to other people — or your exes.
Constantly comparing your current partner to other people, whether it’s friends, celebrities, or exes, is a guaranteed way to create insecurity and resentment. Remember, your partner is unique and deserves to be appreciated for who they are, not for how they measure up to other people.
11. You take your partner for granted.
Over time, it’s easy to fall into a routine and forget to express appreciation for your partner. However, taking them for granted can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment. Make an effort to notice and acknowledge the things they do for you, express your gratitude, and remind them how much they mean to you.
12. You neglect physical intimacy or affection.
Physical touch is an important aspect of many relationships. If you rarely initiate physical contact, turn down your partner’s advances, or show little affection, it can create distance and dissatisfaction. Remember, intimacy is not just about sex; it’s about cuddling, holding hands, and simply being physically close to your partner.
13. You blame your partner for your own unhappiness.
While your partner can certainly contribute to your happiness, it’s ultimately your responsibility to cultivate your own joy and fulfilment. Blaming them for your unhappiness or expecting them to fix your problems is unfair and unrealistic. Take ownership of your emotions and try to find healthy ways to manage them independently.
14. You’re not willing to put in the effort to grow and change.
Relationships require effort and a willingness to adapt. If you’re resistant to feedback, unwilling to try new things, or refuse to address your own shortcomings, it can hinder the growth and development of your relationship. Be open to learning, growing, and evolving together as a couple.
15. You prioritise your friends or hobbies over your partner.
While having a life outside your relationship is healthy, neglecting your partner in favour of your friends or hobbies can make them feel unimportant. It’s essential to find a balance between your personal interests and your commitment to your partner. Make sure they know they’re a priority in your life.
16. You engage in passive-aggressive behaviour.
Instead of directly addressing your concerns, do you resort to sarcasm, the silent treatment, or other passive-aggressive tactics? This behaviour can be confusing and frustrating for your partner, leading to miscommunication and unresolved issues. Open and honest communication is always the best approach.
17. You have difficulty trusting your partner.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you’re constantly suspicious, jealous, or accusatory, it can create a toxic environment and destroy the bond between you and your partner. If you have trust issues, it’s important to address them openly and work on building trust together.
