Life’s full of choices, big and small, and it’s natural to wonder if we’re on the right track.
However, if you’re doubting yourself 24/7, it can paralyse you, not to mention prevent you from growing and experiencing happiness. Overcoming the habit of second-guessing doesn’t mean you’ll never question yourself, but it might just help you find the confidence to trust your judgement and move forward with a bit more purpose. Here’s how to be more decisive in your everyday life.
1. Write it down, get it out.
When you’re caught in a loop of indecision, grab a pen and paper. Jot down your thoughts, concerns, and the potential outcomes you’re mulling over. Such a simple act can help clear your mind and provide a fresh perspective. Often, seeing your thoughts in black and white can reveal patterns or solutions you hadn’t noticed before.
2. Set a decision deadline.
Endless rumination rarely improves your choice. Give yourself a reasonable timeframe to make your decision, then stick to it. Doing this prevents analysis paralysis and forces you to trust your gut. Remember, taking action, even if it’s not perfect, is often better than staying stuck in indecision.
3. Phone a friend (but choose wisely).
Source: Unsplash Asking for advice can be helpful, but be selective about who you ask. Choose someone who knows you well, understands your values, and can offer an objective viewpoint. Be clear about what you need — are you looking for their opinion, or just a sounding board? Sometimes, explaining your dilemma to someone else can clarify your own thoughts.
4. Embrace the “good enough” philosophy.
Perfectionism is often the enemy of decision-making. Adopt the mindset that “good enough” is, well, good enough. Most decisions don’t require a perfect outcome, just a step in the right direction. Recognise that you can always adjust course later if needed. It can free you from the paralysis of trying to make the absolute best choice every time.
5. Flip a coin (seriously).
This might sound silly, but it’s a surprisingly effective technique. Assign each option to a side of the coin, then flip it. The real magic happens in that split second when the coin is in the air — you’ll likely find yourself hoping for one outcome over the other. Your gut reaction can reveal your true preference, helping you move past indecision.
6. Look at your track record.
Source: Unsplash Reflect on past decisions you’ve made. Chances are, even if some didn’t pan out perfectly, you managed to handle the consequences and learn from them. Remind yourself of times when you made good choices, especially in the face of uncertainty. This can boost your confidence in your decision-making abilities and help you trust yourself more.
7. Focus on the why, not just the what.
Source: Unsplash When you’re stuck on a decision, shift your focus from the options themselves to your underlying motivations. What values or goals are driving this choice? Understanding your “why” can often make the “what” much clearer. As a result, it ensures your decision aligns with your core beliefs and long-term objectives.
8. Practice mindfulness.
Source: Unsplash Incorporate mindfulness techniques into your daily routine. Even a few minutes of meditation or deep breathing can help quiet the noise of second-guessing. These practices can help you differentiate between genuine concerns and anxiety-driven doubts, allowing you to approach decisions with a clearer, calmer mind.
9. Create a pros and cons list (with a twist).
Source: Unsplash Instead of a simple list, assign a weight to each pro and con based on its importance to you. Use a scale of 1-10, with 10 being crucial. A more nuanced approach helps you see which factors truly matter most. Sometimes, a single heavyweight pro can outweigh several minor cons, making your decision clearer and easier to stand behind.
10. Imagine giving advice to a mate.
Step outside yourself and pretend a friend is facing your dilemma. What advice would you give them? We’re often kinder and more objective when helping other people. Your perspective shift can cut through emotional clutter and help you see the situation more clearly. It’s a brilliant way to tap into your own wisdom without the baggage of self-doubt.
11. Set up a personal board of directors.
Source: Unsplash Assemble a diverse group of people you trust — friends, family, mentors — who bring different perspectives to the table. When facing a big decision, ‘convene’ your board. Their varied insights can help you consider angles you might have missed. Just remember, you’re the CEO; their input is valuable, but the final call is yours.
12. Do a future self check-in.
Imagine yourself a year from now. Looking back, how would you feel about each potential decision? Taking a forward-thinking approach can help you gauge the long-term impact of your choices and align them with your future goals. It’s a great way to cut through short-term anxieties and focus on what really matters.
13. Take it for a test drive.
If possible, try out your decision in a small, low-stakes way before fully committing. Want to change careers? Shadow someone in the field or take a relevant course. Considering a move? Spend a week in the new city. These ‘tasters’ can provide real-world feedback, either confirming your choice or revealing potential issues before you’ve fully invested.
14. Embrace the “two-way door” concept.
Recognise that most decisions aren’t irreversible. Amazon’s Jeff Bezos talks about “two-way doors” — decisions you can back out of if needed. Identifying which choices fall into this category can liberate you from overthinking. If you can easily undo or adjust your decision later, why not give it a go? Adopting this mindset encourages action and reduces the pressure of getting it perfect the first time.
