You don’t think you’re a particularly embarrassing person, but you might have a friend or partner who disagrees.
While it would be nice if they would confront you directly if you were doing something they found upsetting or strange, instead, they might take a more passive-aggressive approach and say nothing at all. However, it’s obvious that they feel mortified in your company if you notice these signs.
1. They suddenly get quiet when other people approach.
One minute they’re chatting away with you, and the next, they’re giving one-word answers as soon as their friends or colleagues come over. They might’ve been laughing at your joke, but now they’re suddenly acting like you’re just an acquaintance. That instant personality shift says more about their insecurities than anything else.
2. Their social media tells a different story.
You’ve spent the day together, but their posts make it look like they were alone. They’ll share photos of the places you went, but somehow crop you out or only post the shots where you’re nowhere to be seen. Group photos mysteriously vanish from their feed if you’re in them. It’s as if their online world just doesn’t include you.
3. They create distance in public spaces.
Instead of walking beside you, they might stay a step ahead or lag behind, like they’re making it clear you’re not together. They keep a noticeable gap in lines or seating areas too. The message? They want other people to see them as flying solo.
4. They introduce you with vague labels.
When it comes to introductions, it’s never “this is my friend” or “my partner”—just “this is Sam,” or sometimes nothing at all. They’ll skip over explaining how you know each other, leaving everyone guessing. It’s an easy out for them to dodge acknowledging your actual relationship.
5. They only want to hang out in quiet spaces.
They’re fine hanging out—as long as it’s somewhere they won’t run into anyone they know. Any time you suggest popular places, they come up with reasons to avoid the crowds. Slowly, you realise that all your meetups happen in out-of-the-way spots where they’re unlikely to bump into friends.
6. They maintain separate social circles.
Months (or even years) can go by, and you still haven’t met their friends. Any invitations to group events somehow never come up. They always have excuses for why “now isn’t the right time” for you to meet their crowd, so your relationship stays isolated from the rest of their social life.
7. They dodge photos together.
Every time you suggest a photo, they find a way out—offering to take the picture, stepping aside, or claiming they “don’t look good today.” It seems like whenever a camera’s involved, they’d rather not be seen standing next to you. This sudden camera-shyness only shows up when you’re in the frame.
8. Their stories change depending on the audience.
The “how we met” tale or your relationship details shift depending on the crowd. Family hears one version, friends hear another. It’s as if they’re editing your connection to suit their audience, tweaking the details so they feel more comfortable with the narrative.
9. They rush through public interactions.
When you’re out together, conversations feel rushed, like they’re trying to get through each exchange quickly. There’s no time for proper chats; they keep it short and avoid any real discussion, making it clear they’re in a hurry to end the interaction when other people are around.
10. They create buffer zones with their phone.
The minute someone familiar shows up, their phone’s suddenly buzzing with “urgent” texts. It’s like they’re using their screen as a barrier to avoid engaging with you too openly in front of other people. That digital distance says plenty without them saying anything.
11. They downplay your achievements or connections.
When you’re introduced to other people, they gloss over your accomplishments or your job. Your successes are made to seem smaller, or shared connections are downplayed. It’s a way of putting distance between you and any impressive qualities you might bring to the table.
12. They have selective hearing in groups.
Source: Unsplash In group settings, they’ll sometimes ignore your comments or questions until someone else repeats them. It’s as if they’re tuned out when it’s just you, only to perk up if someone else jumps in. It’s a clear sign of whose input they value most in public.
13. Their greeting style changes with the crowd.
Source: Unsplash A warm hello suddenly turns into a curt nod when other people are watching. Their usual friendly side gets dialled back to a cool, distant greeting if there’s a chance they’ll be seen with you. The difference in tone says it all.
14. They create last-minute schedule changes.
Source: Unsplash If they realise friends or colleagues might show up, your plans take a sudden turn. Venues change, meetups get rescheduled, or they flat-out cancel if there’s a risk of being spotted together. It’s as though their availability depends on who else might see you.
15. They maintain rigid boundaries about certain spaces.
Source: Unsplash There are some areas of their life where you’re just not invited—their workplace, family gatherings, favourite hangouts. These “no-go” zones make it clear there are parts of their life where they don’t want you to exist.
