There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be admired.
It’s human to want to be seen in a good light—to feel respected, liked, or even a bit envied now and then. But the line between admirable and awkward can get blurry, especially when someone starts trying too hard. What’s meant to impress can quickly start feeling try-hard, insecure, or downright cringe.
Some of these behaviours are well-meaning. Some are rooted in pressure to stand out. Others come from misunderstanding what confidence really looks like. Either way, they tend to have the opposite effect from what’s intended. Instead of drawing people in, they create distance. Some people often think doing these things makes them look cool, confident, or successful—but in reality, they tend to turn people off.
1. Constant name-dropping
Mentioning that you once worked with someone who knows someone who used to date a semi-famous person doesn’t add much. When name-dropping happens without any real relevance to the conversation, it screams insecurity more than success. People notice when someone’s trying to hitch their identity to someone else’s spotlight. And more often than not, it makes them pull away.
2. Turning every story into a one-up
You tell someone you’ve just been to the Lake District, and suddenly, they’re telling you about the time they hiked a volcano barefoot. Turning every chat into a personal achievement reel doesn’t make you look worldly—it makes you look self-involved. Real connection comes from mutual listening, not topping each other’s stories like it’s a competition.
3. Talking about how busy you are like it’s a badge of honour
We all know someone who can’t say hello without listing off their endless to-do list. Being busy isn’t a personality. Constantly talking about how overwhelmed you are can start to feel performative. Instead of inspiring admiration, it tends to drain the room. Everyone’s got stuff on. It doesn’t need to be a broadcast.
4. Bragging about how little sleep you get
Acting like you’re running on fumes and calling it dedication doesn’t make you seem committed—it makes you seem like you need a nap. There’s a cultural habit of glorifying burnout, but bragging about sleep deprivation isn’t impressive. It’s a bit worrying, actually.
5. Using overly complicated language to sound clever
There’s a big difference between being articulate and being obtuse. If you’re using jargon or needlessly long words in casual conversation to sound intelligent, people can usually tell. Clear communication is far more engaging. If people need a dictionary to get through your small talk, you’ve missed the point.
6. Showing off on social media in really obvious ways
A beautifully plated brunch is nice. A filtered, perfectly posed version of your life 24/7? Not so much. People can tell when something’s curated to impress. It doesn’t feel aspirational—it feels exhausting. A bit of honesty goes a lot further than constant flexing.
7. Dominating group conversations without noticing
It might feel like confidence, but talking over people or constantly steering the topic back to yourself isn’t a good look. It signals a lack of awareness. People remember how you made them feel, and no one feels good when they’re constantly being sidelined.
8. Being overly blunt and calling it honesty
There’s a big difference between being direct and being unkind. “I just tell it like it is” is often code for “I say what I want without thinking about how it lands.” Real honesty includes care. It doesn’t bulldoze its way through a conversation.
9. Making every achievement a humblebrag
Source: Unsplash “Oh, I wasn’t even trying and still got the promotion.” Sure. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements. But disguising them as complaints or pretending you’re above caring usually backfires. People appreciate sincerity. False modesty, on the other hand, just feels awkward.
10. Bragging about how little you care
Source: Unsplash The whole “too cool to care” act might sound like confidence, but it often reads as fear of vulnerability. Caring isn’t a weakness. Whether it’s about your work, your friendships, or your plans, being openly invested shows strength—not neediness. People connect with genuine enthusiasm more than emotional detachment.
11. Being condescending under the guise of ‘mentoring’
Source: Unsplash Giving advice that no one asked for, especially in a smug or overly self-assured tone, doesn’t land well. People want to feel supported, not schooled. If someone’s struggling or unsure, offer curiosity before commentary. You’re not their life coach—unless they specifically asked you to be. (And even then, you probably don’t have much more figured out about life than them.)
12. Flaunting money or expensive things
There’s a quiet confidence that comes from success. Then there’s loudly talking about how much your watch cost, casually dropping prices into conversation, or constantly mentioning luxury brands. It often creates more distance than admiration. People are more impressed by how you treat them than how much you spend.
13. Constantly correcting people
Whether it’s minor grammar errors, mispronunciations, or trivia corrections that don’t matter, jumping in to fix people all the time just makes conversations feel stiff. Unless it’s something important—or they asked—it’s usually better to let it slide. You’re not marking exam papers here, professor.
14. Making your job your whole personality
Loving your career is great, but if every anecdote, every reference, and every bit of small talk circles back to your title or your latest project, it can start to feel like that’s all there is to you. People want to connect with the human behind the LinkedIn bio. Plus, what happens if you’re made redundant one day? Your self-worth will come crashing down in no time.
15. Overplaying your “quirks” for attention
Everyone has quirks, but exaggerating them to come off as “zany” or “random” can start to feel performative. If your weirdness is genuine, people usually love it. However, if it’s dialled up for reaction, it tends to feel hollow. Just be you! You don’t have to pretend to be someone wilder than you are to be special.
16. Always needing to be the smartest person in the room
There’s a fine line between being intelligent and being insufferable. Constantly trying to one-up people intellectually, dismissing their ideas, or correcting them for the sake of it just shuts people down. Being smart is great. Being a know-it-all? Not so much. No one wants to be around someone who won’t let anyone else have an opinion or get a word in edgewise.
