It’s no secret that the phrase “calm down” rarely achieves its intended effect. In fact, it can often escalate a situation, making the other person feel unheard and misunderstood. If you’re looking for more effective ways to de-escalate a situation or simply express your feelings more constructively, this list is for you.
1. What’s going on?
This simple question can open up a conversation and help you understand the root of someone’s distress. By showing genuine curiosity, you invite them to share their feelings and concerns, which can often be a huge relief in itself. Remember, sometimes people just need to vent and be heard, not necessarily solved.
2. I’m here for you, no matter what.
This phrase conveys unwavering support and acceptance. It lets the person know that you’re not judging them and that they can trust you with their vulnerabilities. This unconditional support can be incredibly powerful, especially during challenging times when people feel isolated or misunderstood.
3. Would you like a hug?
Physical touch can be a powerful way to comfort someone who is struggling. But always ask first, as not everyone is comfortable with physical affection. A hug can offer a sense of safety and connection, reminding the person that they’re not alone in their struggle.
4. Let’s take a deep breath together.
Deep breathing exercises can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to reduce stress and promote relaxation. By suggesting a joint breathing exercise, you’re offering a practical solution and creating a sense of shared experience and connection.
5. I understand you’re feeling overwhelmed, and that’s okay.
Validating someone’s feelings is crucial, especially when they’re experiencing strong emotions. By acknowledging their feelings without judgment, you create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically. This validation can often help people feel less alone and more understood.
6. Can I help you with anything right now?
Offering practical assistance can be a tangible way to show your support. Whether it’s running an errand, listening without interruption, or simply offering a distraction, your willingness to help can make a real difference in someone’s emotional state.
7. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now.
This phrase acknowledges the depth of someone’s struggles without diminishing them. It can be a powerful way to show empathy and understanding, especially when someone feels overwhelmed by their circumstances. By acknowledging the weight of their burden, you offer a sense of validation and support.
8. Remember, you’re not alone in this.
Reminding someone that they’re not alone can be incredibly comforting. It can help them to feel less isolated and more connected to other people. This simple phrase can also offer a sense of hope and reassurance, especially during challenging times when people feel overwhelmed by their struggles.
9. Let’s find a quiet place where you can collect your thoughts.
Sometimes, removing oneself from a stimulating environment can be incredibly helpful in regaining composure. A change of scenery can offer a fresh perspective and a chance to reset. Whether it’s a peaceful park, a quiet room, or simply stepping outside for some fresh air, a change of environment can do wonders for calming frayed nerves.
10. Would you like to talk about what’s upsetting you?
This open-ended question invites the person to share their thoughts and feelings without pressure or judgment. It can be a helpful way to initiate a conversation and gain a deeper understanding of their emotional state. By actively listening and offering empathy, you can help them to process their emotions and feel heard.
11. How can I best support you right now?
This question puts the focus on the person’s needs and preferences. It shows that you’re willing to adapt your approach to best suit their individual needs. By offering flexible support, you empower them to take ownership of their emotional well-being and choose the kind of support that feels most helpful to them in the moment.
12. Remember, this feeling is temporary, and it will pass.
Reminding someone that their emotions are not permanent can offer a sense of hope and perspective. It can help them to see beyond their immediate distress and remember that they have the strength to cope. This simple reminder can also help to reduce feelings of overwhelm and helplessness, empowering them to take steps towards feeling better.
13. Let’s focus on what you can control right now.
Source: Unsplash When someone is feeling overwhelmed, it can be helpful to shift their focus to actionable steps. By identifying what they can control in the present moment, you empower them to take positive action and regain a sense of agency. This can be a powerful way to reduce feelings of helplessness and build resilience.
14. Remember, you’ve overcome challenges before, and you can do it again.
Source: Unsplash This phrase reminds the person of their past successes and resilience. It can be a powerful way to boost their confidence and remind them of their inner strength. By highlighting their past achievements, you help them to see themselves as capable and resourceful, even in the face of adversity.
15. It’s okay to not be okay.
Source: Unsplash This simple phrase validates the full range of human emotions. It reminds the person that it’s perfectly acceptable to feel sad, angry, frustrated, or any other emotion. By removing the pressure to always be positive, you create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically and process their emotions without judgment.
16. You are strong, capable, and resilient.
Source: Unsplash This affirmation reminds the person of their inherent strength and resilience. It can be a powerful way to boost their confidence and remind them of their ability to cope with challenges. By offering positive reinforcement, you help them to tap into their inner resources and navigate difficult emotions with greater ease and confidence.
