Truth be told, life would be a whole lot better if people just stopped commenting on women’s bodies in any way.
Sure, it’s nice to hear a compliment sometimes, but not everything people assume is flattering actually feels that way to the woman on the receiving end. As women, our appearance is policed and judged on a continual basis, and it doesn’t feel great. No matter how nice you think you’re being, I guarantee you the women in your life would feel a whole lot better if you dropped these so-called “compliments” from your conversations altogether.
1. “You look so much better without makeup.”
Source: Unsplash This comment implies that makeup is a mask and that her natural appearance is somehow less than perfect. While it may be intended as a compliment, it comes off as dismissive of the effort she put into her look. It also subtly suggests that she’s somehow “better” without it, which can feel condescending.
2. “Wow, you look really good for your age.”
Age is just a number, and this type of comment often comes off as patronising. It implies that a woman’s appearance should deteriorate with age, and when she looks great, it’s a surprise. Rather than offering a genuine compliment, it emphasises her age in a way that can feel limiting or insulting.
3. “You’d be prettier if you smiled more.”
This comment not only places the burden of pleasing other people on her, but it also suggests that her natural expression is somehow “less” than a smile. It’s a subtle way of telling her how she “should” look, which is never a comfortable message to receive.
4. “You’re too pretty to be single.”
While the intention might be to give her a compliment, this comment inadvertently suggests that her worth is tied to being in a relationship. It also implies that being single is somehow a “flaw” or a “problem” that needs fixing. It’s a reminder that her appearance should be connected to her romantic status, which is not always appreciated.
5. “Are you sure that outfit’s flattering?”
Even if the comment is meant to be helpful, it can feel like a judgment on her choices. This kind of statement undermines her confidence in what she’s wearing and implies that she doesn’t know what suits her. It’s important to be supportive of a woman’s style rather than questioning it.
6. “You look much better with longer hair.”
This comment implies that shorter hair isn’t as attractive or desirable. Everyone has different preferences when it comes to style, but no one should feel like their choice of haircut is subject to critique. It’s a reminder that women’s appearance is often scrutinised based on conformity to mainstream ideals.
7. “You should wear more colour.”
Source: Unsplash Recommending a change in a woman’s wardrobe, especially when it comes to something as personal as colour choice, can feel like an attack on her individuality. What’s “better” or “flattering” is entirely subjective, and suggesting she needs to change it implies her current style is lacking.
8. “I wish I could eat like you and still look like that.”
Source: Unsplash This type of comment reduces a woman’s appearance to a result of diet and eating habits. It also subtly implies that her body is something to be envied, rather than focusing on her personality, intelligence, or accomplishments. It can also make her feel uncomfortable, like her body is the only thing worth commenting on.
9. “Don’t you think that’s a bit too much for work?”
Source: Unsplash Comments like this about what a woman is wearing or how she presents herself in the workplace are problematic. They often suggest that she should tone down her appearance to meet a certain standard that may not apply to everyone. It’s a subtle way of policing her expression and creativity in the workplace.
10. “You don’t need to wear all that makeup.”
Source: Unsplash This dismisses the effort a woman has put into her appearance and implies that her natural beauty should be enough. Makeup can be a form of self-expression and confidence, and telling someone they don’t need it can feel invalidating and critical.
11. “Are you sure you want to eat that?”
Source: Unsplash Comments about what a woman eats or doesn’t eat are often tied to body image expectations. Telling someone they shouldn’t eat something implies that their appearance is more important than their enjoyment or relationship with food. It can leave them feeling self-conscious and judged.
12. “You’d look so much better if you lost a few pounds.”
Source: Unsplash This type of comment is incredibly harmful. It reduces a woman’s worth and beauty to a number on a scale. It’s never appropriate to suggest someone should change their body to meet someone else’s standards of beauty, especially in such a direct and unsolicited way.
13. “You look so much better with a tan.”
Source: Unsplash Comments like this suggest that a woman’s natural skin tone isn’t good enough and that she needs to conform to an ideal. It can feel alienating, especially if the woman takes pride in her natural look. Embracing different skin tones, rather than encouraging conformity, should be the goal.
14. “That’s a bold choice.”
Source: Unsplash While this might sound like a compliment, the word “bold” can sometimes be used to mask criticism. It implies that the woman’s style or choice is somehow risky or outside the norm. A more encouraging comment would focus on how her outfit or look is stylish or flattering, rather than using “bold” as a euphemism for “unusual.”
15. “You look better without that filter.”
Source: Unsplash Commenting on a woman’s appearance based on filters, especially on social media, can feel like an unnecessary criticism. It implies that her natural look isn’t good enough without some sort of enhancement, which is not only rude but unhelpful in creating self-confidence. It’s important to focus on embracing and appreciating real, unfiltered beauty.
