Why is it that on the rare occasion you can actually get in to see your GP in person, your appointment is more of a headache than a relief?
We’re incredibly lucky in this country to have the NHS, but the service has been underfunded and overstretched for far too long now, leading to a serious decline in care (or your ability to receive any in the first place). Here are some of the biggest headaches you’re likely to encounter at your appointment.
1. The receptionist gatekeeper
Ah, the receptionist. Sometimes they’re lovely, sometimes they make you feel like you’re trying to breach the Prime Minister’s office on Downing Street. “What seems to be the problem?” they ask, loud enough for the whole waiting room to hear about your embarrassing rash. And heaven forbid you’re a few minutes late — you’ll be treated to a lecture that would make a school principal proud. A little discretion and understanding wouldn’t go amiss, people.
2. The dreaded waiting game
You’ve booked a 10:30 appointment, but it’s now 11:15, and you’re still twiddling your thumbs in the waiting room. The worst part? No one’s bothered to tell you why. It’s like time stands still in GP surgeries. You start wondering if you’ve accidentally stumbled into a time warp. Would it kill them to give us a heads-up? “Hey everyone, Dr. Smith is running a bit late because he’s dealing with a particularly stubborn ingrown toenail. Hang in there!” A little communication goes a long way, people!
3. The memory lapse
You finally get in to see the doctor, and it’s clear they haven’t glanced at your notes since… well, ever. You end up spending half your precious 10-minute slot rehashing your entire medical history. It’s like playing a really unfun game of “Remember When?” with someone who wasn’t even there. Come on, doc! A quick skim of the notes before we start could save us both a lot of time and frustration.
4. The vanishing test results
Remember those blood tests you had two weeks ago? The ones that were supposed to explain why you’ve been feeling like a zombie? Yeah, your GP doesn’t seem to remember either. You’re left wondering if your blood samples are lounging on a beach somewhere, sipping piña coladas. A little follow-up would be nice, even if it’s just to say, “Hey, still waiting on those results. We haven’t forgotten about you!”
5. The consultant report black hole
You saw a specialist last month, and they said they’d send a report to your GP. But when you mention it, your doctor looks at you like you’re speaking another language. It seems consultant reports have a knack for disappearing into the ether. Maybe they should start attaching GPS trackers to these elusive documents?
6. The email echo chamber
Source: Unsplash You’ve sent an email query about your medication, and now you’re watching tumbleweeds roll across your inbox. Days pass. Weeks pass. You start to wonder if your email was accidentally sent to Mars instead. A quick reply, even just to say “We’ve received your email and will get back to you,” would save so much anxiety and frustration.
7. The language barrier battle
For those who speak English as a second language or are hard of hearing, interacting with some receptionists can feel like an Olympic sport. Instead of patience and understanding, you’re met with increasingly loud repetitions, as if volume is a universal translator. News flash: shouting doesn’t magically improve someone’s English or hearing!
8. The interrupted interrogation
You’re asked what’s wrong, but as soon as you start explaining, you’re cut off mid-sentence. It’s like playing medical charades, but with higher stakes. “I’ve been having this pain in my-” “NEXT!” Wouldn’t it be nice if they actually listened to the answer to the question they just asked?
9. The attitude problem
Some receptionists seem to have missed the memo that they’re in a customer service role. The eye-rolls, the sighs, the looks that could curdle milk — it’s enough to make you wonder if you’ve accidentally stumbled into a DMV instead of a doctor’s office. A smile and a bit of empathy can go a long way, especially when people are already feeling under the weather.
10. The ‘on hold’ purgatory
Trying to book an appointment by phone? Prepare to listen to the world’s most annoying hold music for what feels like eternity. You start to wonder if you’ll still be on hold when the heat death of the universe occurs. And don’t even get me started on the “Your call is important to us” messages. If it’s so important, why not hire more people to answer the phones?
11. The broken booking system
The surgery invested in a fancy new self-check-in system, but it seems to be perpetually out of order. So you’re stuck in a queue that snakes out the door, just to tell a human your name and appointment time. It’s like we’ve gone back in time, but without the cool dinosaurs.
12. The “computer says no” syndrome
Need an appointment outside of your GP’s three available slots this millennium? Good luck with that. The booking system seems to have been programmed by someone who thinks illness only strikes between 2 and 4 PM on alternate Tuesdays. Flexibility? What’s that?
13. The multitasking madness
You finally get to see the doctor, but they’re typing furiously on their computer, barely making eye contact. You start to wonder if you’re interrupting their game of Solitaire. A bit of undivided attention would be nice, especially when you’re discussing that weird growth that’s keeping you up at night.
14. The prescription predicament
You need a repeat prescription, but apparently requesting it requires a PhD in bureaucracy. It’s a wild goose chase between you, the receptionist, the pharmacy, and possibly a carrier pigeon. By the time you finally get your meds, you’ve developed three new conditions from the stress of it all.
15. The rushed round-up
Just as you’re getting to the heart of your health concerns, the doctor starts wrapping things up. “Well, that’s our time!” they chirp, while you’re still mid-sentence about that persistent pain. You leave feeling like you’ve just played speed dating with your own health.
16. The lack of follow-up
The doctor said they’d refer you to a specialist. Weeks pass. Months pass. Seasons change. You start to wonder if “I’ll refer you” is doctor-speak for “Let’s never speak of this again.” A little update on the progress of your referral would be nice. Even carrier pigeons were more reliable than this!
17. The medical jargon overload
Sometimes it feels like your GP is speaking a foreign language. They rattle off terms that sound like they’re straight out of a medical textbook, leaving you nodding along while mentally screaming, “What does that even mean?!” You leave the appointment feeling like you need a medical dictionary just to understand what was said about your own body. A bit of plain English wouldn’t go amiss, doc. We’re not all secret medical students, you know!
18. The dismissive hand-wave
You’ve finally worked up the courage to mention that niggling worry you’ve had for months, only to have it brushed off with a casual “Oh, that’s nothing to worry about.” No explanation, no reassurance, just a dismissive wave of the hand. It’s like your concerns are being treated as seriously as a request for a unicorn prescription. A little validation and explanation would go a long way in putting our minds at ease, rather than leaving us feeling like hypochondriacs.
19. The one-problem-per-visit rule
You’ve waited weeks for this appointment, and you’ve got a list of issues you want to discuss. But as soon as you mention your second concern, you’re met with, “I’m sorry, we can only deal with one problem per visit.” It’s like playing the health lottery — which issue wins the coveted spot today? Never mind that these problems might be related, or that booking another appointment means another month of waiting and worrying. It’s enough to make you consider a full-body check-up just to cover all bases in one go!
20. The prescription pressure
Sometimes it feels like your GP’s go-to solution for everything is to whip out the prescription pad. Feeling a bit down? Here are some antidepressants. Trouble sleeping? Try these pills. You start to wonder if there’s a prescription for every ailment under the sun. While medication can be incredibly helpful, it would be nice to discuss lifestyle changes or alternative treatments too. Not every problem needs to be solved with a pill, doc. Sometimes we just want to explore all our options before diving into the world of pharmaceuticals.
