Dating advice is pretty plentiful, but most of it is downright rubbish.
If you want to find a solid relationship — the kind that’s built to last — a lot of the conventional “wisdom” certainly doesn’t help you find it. Here are some classic pieces of dating advice you’re better off ignoring altogether. You might be shocked at how your luck in love turns around once you do.
1. “Play hard to get, don’t text back right away.”
Source: Unsplash This outdated game-playing assumes everyone’s working from the same rulebook. In reality, intentionally delaying responses just creates unnecessary anxiety and mixed signals. Some people are naturally quick responders, others take their time — and that’s fine. When you deliberately wait to reply, you’re starting the relationship with manufactured behaviour that you’ll eventually have to drop. Natural communication rhythms work better than calculated delays.
2. “The right person will accept you at your worst.”
While self-acceptance is important, this advice gets twisted into justifying bad behaviour. Your “worst” shouldn’t be your default setting or an excuse to skip personal growth. Healthy relationships involve both people trying to be their better selves while having grace for rough patches. Someone accepting toxic behaviour isn’t proof of love — it might be a sign of poor boundaries.
3. “Never settle for less than perfect.”
The myth of perfection keeps people endlessly searching while overlooking genuine connections. Real relationships involve two imperfect humans choosing each other daily. Looking for red flags is smart, but treating minor quirks or differences as deal-breakers creates a pattern of shallow connections. The goal isn’t finding someone perfect — it’s finding someone whose imperfections don’t interfere with building something meaningful together.
4. “If they wanted to, they would.”
Such an oversimplified view of human behaviour ignores life’s complexities. Sometimes people want to but struggle with anxiety, past trauma, work stress, or family obligations. While you shouldn’t make excuses for consistent disinterest, assuming every missed call or cancelled plan means lack of interest oversimplifies human nature. Context and patterns matter more than isolated incidents.
5. “Keep your options open until you’re officially exclusive.”
Dating multiple people simultaneously isn’t inherently wrong, but treating early connections like a competitive sport often prevents genuine bonds from forming. When you’re constantly comparing options, you’re not fully present with anyone. Sometimes focusing on one promising connection at a time leads to deeper understanding than juggling multiple surface-level interactions.
6. “Wait three days after a date to reach out.”
Source: Unsplash It’s an arbitrary rule that creates unnecessary games and anxiety. If you enjoyed someone’s company, telling them shouldn’t follow a timeline. Modern dating already has enough uncertainty without adding artificial waiting periods. Genuine enthusiasm isn’t a weakness, and someone who’s put off by sincere interest probably isn’t ready for real connection.
7. “Don’t bring up past relationships.”
Source: Unsplash While oversharing or dwelling on exes isn’t healthy, pretending past relationships didn’t shape you is unrealistic. Our history influences our boundaries, needs, and growth. Brief, relevant mentions of past experiences can show self-awareness and help establish understanding. The key is context and timing, not total avoidance.
8. “If you’re not sure, give it more time.”
Source: Unsplash While rushing to judgment isn’t wise, neither is ignoring your instincts. Sometimes uncertainty is your gut trying to tell you something isn’t right. Additional time won’t always bring clarity — it might just delay an inevitable ending while creating deeper attachment. Learning to trust your judgment often matters more than arbitrary timelines.
9. “Never go to bed angry.”
Sometimes taking space to cool down and process emotions leads to better resolution than forcing late-night discussions. Not every disagreement needs immediate resolution, and some perspectives become clearer after rest. Pressuring yourself to resolve conflicts when you’re tired and emotional can escalate simple misunderstandings into major arguments.
10. “The right person won’t make you question anything.”
Source: Unsplash Healthy relationships still involve moments of uncertainty, growth, and challenging conversations. Questioning aspects of your relationship doesn’t mean it’s wrong — it often means you’re engaged in its development. Complete certainty might actually signal complacency rather than compatibility.
11. “Focus on yourself and love will find you.”
Source: Unsplash Personal growth is valuable, but treating it as a guarantee for finding love creates false expectations. Meaningful connections often require active participation in social situations and dating. Self-improvement and relationship-seeking aren’t mutually exclusive — you can work on yourself while remaining open to connections.
12. “Don’t talk about serious topics too soon.”
Avoiding important conversations early doesn’t protect the relationship — it delays discovering potential incompatibilities. Discussing values, goals, and dealbreakers helps both people make informed decisions about investing time. While timing matters, artificially keeping things surface-level often leads to wasted emotional energy.
13. “Chemistry should be instant.”
Some connections take time to develop, especially for people who warm up slowly to new relationships. While immediate sparks happen, dismissing potential partners because they don’t create instant fireworks overlooks the possibility of deeper, slower-burning connections. Sometimes the strongest relationships start with subtle attraction that grows through meaningful interaction.
14. “Age is just a number.”
While some age-gap relationships work, dismissing age differences entirely ignores real challenges in life stages, values, and experiences. Being honest about how age might impact shared goals, energy levels, and life milestones matters. Compatible life phases often matter more than compatible personalities.
15. “Lower your standards as you get older.”
Experience should refine your standards, not lower them. Understanding what truly matters versus what’s superficial isn’t the same as settling. Getting older often brings clarity about deal-breakers versus preferences, but that shouldn’t mean accepting relationships that don’t meet your core needs.
