Admitting you’re struggling with your mental health isn’t easy, and some people simply won’t do it.
Instead of asking for help, they put on a brave face and soldier through because they don’t want to be a burden or seem incapable. What they don’t realise is that by hiding their true feelings, they’re prolonging the struggles they’re experiencing and denying their loved ones the opportunity to help them out. These are the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways someone might mask their inability to cope right now.
1. Over-the-top cheerfulness
They’re always the life of the party, cracking jokes and flashing a big smile no matter the situation. While their bubbly nature might seem genuine, it could be a defence mechanism to avoid showing vulnerability. Sometimes, the loudest laugh hides the heaviest heart.
2. Constant busyness
They’re juggling work, side projects, hobbies, and three volunteer gigs, claiming they “love being busy.” While it’s great to be productive, overloading their schedule could be their way of avoiding downtime—and the emotions that come with it. After all, it’s hard to dwell on your feelings when you’re booked solid.
3. Always offering to help
“Need anything? I’ve got it!” They’re the first to offer a hand, even when they’ve got their own plate full. While their generosity is admirable, it can also be a distraction from dealing with their own problems. Helping other people might feel easier than confronting their own struggles.
4. Being everyone’s go-to advice guru
They always have wise words for everyone else but rarely talk about their own issues. They might be masking their struggles by focusing on other people, doling out advice while keeping their own challenges safely under wraps. If they’re always your go-to for support, it might be time to check in on them.
5. Turning into a workaholic
Source: Unsplash Pouring themselves into work is their way of staying distracted. Whether they’re answering emails at midnight or taking on every extra shift, their relentless productivity could be their way of avoiding what’s really bothering them. It’s not about ambition—it’s about escaping their thoughts.
6. Perfectionism overload
Source: Unsplash From their flawlessly organised desk to their meticulously styled outfits, everything about them screams, “I’ve got it together.” But sometimes, perfectionism is less about being impressive and more about controlling one thing when everything else feels chaotic. Behind the perfectly polished exterior might be someone craving a breather.
7. Making light of serious things
They’ll joke about their stress, turning everything into a punchline. While their humour might make you laugh, it could also be their way of avoiding deeper conversations. If their jokes have a tinge of “too real” to them, it might be worth checking in with a serious (but kind) tone.
8. The “I’m fine” defence
Ask how they’re doing, and they’ll reply with a breezy, “I’m fine!”—even if it’s obvious they’re not. This classic line is often their go-to for shutting down further questions. They’re not lying—they’re just not ready to open up yet. A little patience and gentle support can go a long way here.
9. Hyper-focusing on fitness or health
Suddenly, they’re training for a marathon, counting every calorie, or hitting the gym twice a day. While it’s great to prioritise health, an extreme focus on fitness can sometimes mask emotional struggles. It’s easier to obsess over step counts than to sit with uncomfortable feelings.
10. Excessive social media posting
From curated selfies to constant updates about how “amazing” their life is, their Instagram might look perfect—but real life rarely is. If their feed feels like it’s trying a bit too hard, it could be a sign they’re overcompensating. Remember, what you see online is often just the highlight reel.
11. Throwing themselves into hobbies
Whether they’ve suddenly taken up pottery, gardening, or an extreme knitting obsession, they might be using hobbies as a distraction. While hobbies are healthy, diving headfirst into a new passion could also be their way of avoiding what’s weighing on their mind. It’s their way of saying, “Don’t worry, I’m busy being productive!”
12. Avoiding deep conversations
Source: Unsplash Every chat stays on surface level—weather, memes, or what’s for dinner. If you try to ask how they’re really doing, they quickly change the subject. This avoidance might mean they’re not ready to confront their feelings just yet, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need your support in other ways.
13. Leaning into retail therapy
Source: Unsplash Suddenly, they’re showing off a string of impulse buys or boasting about sales they couldn’t resist. Shopping can be a fun pick-me-up, but when it becomes their primary coping strategy, it might be worth gently checking in. After all, you can’t buy your way out of emotional struggles—no matter how good the sale is.
14. Acting like nothing’s wrong (even when it clearly is)
They’ll insist, “Everything’s great!” even when the evidence says otherwise. Whether it’s a strained smile or a slightly panicked energy, their insistence on normalcy might be masking inner turmoil. They’re not trying to deceive you—they’re just not sure how to ask for help yet.
