Some men genuinely struggle to meet child maintenance obligations due to circumstances beyond their control.
However, plenty of others hide behind excuses to dodge responsibility. According to Gov.UK data from June 2022, 36% of parents, primarily men, paid no child maintenance at all. Of those that did pay, only 20% paid up to 90% of the amount due. Not exactly impressive figures. These “reasons” for their failure to pay might sound convincing at first, but when you hear them repeated enough, they start to reveal a pattern of avoidance rather than accountability.
1. “I’m not even sure the kid is mine.”
Rather than sorting this out legally early on, some men hold onto this doubt for years as a reason not to contribute. Even when a DNA test is offered or already confirmed, they sometimes cling to the uncertainty to justify staying hands-off. That excuse keeps them emotionally and financially distant, often at the child’s expense. And in many cases, it’s not the truth. It’s their way of avoiding the weight of responsibility altogether.
2. “I’m between jobs right now.”
This one can be valid in the short term, but it loses weight when it becomes a permanent excuse. Plenty of people face employment gaps and still find ways to contribute something, even if it’s not the full amount. When someone consistently claims to be between jobs yet seems to afford everything else in their life, it starts to feel less like bad luck and more like selective priorities. Children shouldn’t be the ones who go without while their parent stalls.
3. “She just uses the money on herself anyway.”
This claim often masks bitterness or resentment toward the child’s mother. It paints her as manipulative and wasteful, as if every cent is being misused, even when the child’s needs are clearly being met. The truth is, child maintenance covers food, electricity, rent, clothes, transport—all the things that come with raising a child. Acting like it’s some kind of personal allowance ignores how everyday life works when you’re raising kids full-time.
4. “She makes more money than I do.”
Some men use this as a reason to wash their hands of any financial support, even though the child is still equally theirs. It becomes a way of shifting the full responsibility onto the other parent, simply because she’s doing better financially. The thing is, child maintenance has nothing to do with who earns more. It’s about ensuring both parents contribute to their child’s care and well-being. Using income differences as a loophole misses the point entirely.
5. “I give her stuff when I can—isn’t that enough?”
Offering the occasional gift, meal, or bit of cash here and there isn’t the same as regular support. It’s inconsistent and unreliable, which can leave the primary caregiver scrambling to fill the gaps every month. Being involved means more than showing up when it’s convenient. A parent who’s truly invested doesn’t pick and choose when to help. They commit, and they show up with consistency.
6. “She’s just using the system to get money out of me.”
This excuse usually comes with a lot of frustration and misplaced anger. It frames the child maintenance system as something predatory, rather than something designed to make sure children are properly cared for. Instead of seeing it as a basic parental duty, it gets turned into a fight over fairness or control. Of course, child maintenance isn’t a punishment for anyone. It’s about helping a child have a stable, supported life.
7. “I’m working cash-in-hand now.”
This one’s frustrating because it’s often used as a way to dodge court-ordered payments while still earning money. Some men intentionally take cash-in-hand jobs or refuse to report income just to stay off the radar and avoid deductions. It might feel clever in the short term, but it often leaves the child and their parent struggling. Avoiding the system doesn’t make the obligation disappear; it just creates more hardship for the ones left behind.
8. “I’m still paying off debt from when we were together.”
It’s not uncommon for shared debts to linger after a breakup, but using that as a reason to avoid child maintenance is a separate issue. That debt might exist, but the child’s needs didn’t stop just because the relationship ended. When someone prioritises clearing old loans over feeding and housing their child, it shows where their values lie. Past financial mistakes shouldn’t cancel out present responsibilities.
9. “The courts are against me anyway.”
This excuse taps into the belief that the system is inherently biased, especially against fathers. And while it’s true that family court can be difficult to navigate, using that as a reason to disengage from your child’s life financially or emotionally doesn’t help anyone. Instead of working through the system or showing up in a constructive way, this mindset often leads to giving up entirely. It becomes more about ego than responsibility, and the child loses out as a result.
10. “She’s keeping me from seeing my kid, so why should I pay?”
When parenting time becomes restricted or complicated, some men use it as a reason to stop paying altogether. They treat child maintenance like a transaction—no access, no money—rather than a consistent need their child still has regardless of visitation. It turns the child into a bargaining chip. The financial support becomes less about love or care and more about control, which only deepens the conflict and damages the child’s well-being.
11. “I’ve got another family to support now.”
Starting a new family doesn’t erase the responsibility from the first. While priorities may change and finances might get tighter, that doesn’t mean the previous child disappears. Each one deserves to be supported, not ranked or forgotten. Choosing to start over doesn’t mean you get to hit reset on past obligations. It’s still your child, and they still rely on you, no matter how many new responsibilities come along.
12. “She’s just trying to ruin my life.”
This excuse frames the entire situation as personal revenge. It focuses entirely on the adult conflict and removes the child from the conversation. The payment becomes symbolic, as if it’s about winning or losing rather than about actual support. When someone sees financial support as an attack rather than a necessity, it reveals how deeply they’re avoiding emotional and parental responsibility. The issue stops being about care and starts being about ego.
13. “The amount they want is ridiculous.”
It’s true that child maintenance payments can sometimes feel steep, especially if they’re calculated based on past income or cost of living. However, raising a child isn’t cheap, and the other parent often carries the hidden costs that don’t show up in the paperwork. If the amount feels genuinely unmanageable, there are legal routes to reassess it, but refusing to pay entirely helps no one. The child’s needs don’t pause just because the number feels unfair.
14. “I’ll help when I know she deserves it.”
This one’s wrapped in judgement. It implies the other parent needs to earn financial support by acting a certain way, often by being nicer, more accommodating, or more grateful. But again, this isn’t about her, it’s about the child. Withholding support as punishment puts pressure on the wrong person. Kids shouldn’t suffer while adults keep score. Helping isn’t a reward. It’s a responsibility that exists regardless of how you feel about your ex.
15. “The kid’s better off without me anyway.”
Some men genuinely believe they’re doing their child a favour by disappearing, emotionally and financially. They convince themselves that their presence or contribution would somehow make things worse, so they back away entirely.
However, most of the time, kids benefit from knowing they’re cared for, even if the relationship is distant. Financial support isn’t about perfection or emotional closeness. It’s a sign that, no matter what, you’re still willing to show up in the ways that count.
