You haven’t been in school for ages, so why do your friendships still feel as dramatic as they were when you were a teenager?
You might think that you’re a good friend and be tempted to point the finger at all your mates as the source of the trouble, but is that actually the case? Here’s why there’s always a problem with the people in your social circle.
1. You gossip about them.
Look, we all love a bit of gossip, but if you’re constantly sharing your friends’ secrets, you’re basically asking for drama. The only person’s business you should ever be discussing is your own. Otherwise, before you know it, you’re the one everyone’s talking about — and not in a good way.
2. You treat your friends like emotional punching bags.
We all have bad days, but if you’re constantly dumping your negative vibes on your friends, they’re going to start dodging your calls. There’s a fine line between venting and being an emotional vampire, and you might be crossing it. Your friends aren’t your therapists, so maybe ease up on the constant doom and gloom.
3. You play friendship favourites.
One day you’re all about Sarah, the next it’s all Lisa, all the time. You don’t need to have favourites — all of your friends can be equally as important to you and as worthy of your time. Trying to turn it into a competition is immature (and bound to cause drama).
4. You’re flaky.
Constantly cancelling plans or showing up late isn’t cute. Your friends’ time is valuable, and if you’re treating it like it’s not, don’t be shocked when they start making plans without you. If they can’t rely on you, they’re not really going to want to spend much time with you (when you do actually show up, that is).
5. You turn every argument into something bigger.
Source: Unsplash If you’re making a huge case out of every little disagreement, you’re exhausting everyone around you. Not everything needs to be a big deal. Sometimes, your friend forgot to text back because they were busy, not because they’re plotting your social downfall.
6. You’re playing the comparison game, and everyone’s losing.
Source: Unsplash Constantly measuring your friends against each other or yourself, as I mentioned earlier, is a one-way ticket to pure drama. “Why can’t you be more like Sarah?” or “I wish I had your life” are phrases that should be banned from your vocabulary. Appreciate your friends for who they are, not who you think they should be.
7. You treat boundaries like they’re optional.
Source: Unsplash If you’re barging into your friends’ lives like you own the place, you’re asking for trouble. Just because someone’s your close friend doesn’t mean you get 24/7 access to their life, phone, or Netflix account. Respect the invisible lines, or you might find yourself on the other side of a very visible door.
8. You turn friendship into a competition.
Life isn’t a race, and neither is friendship. If you’re always trying to one-up your friends or be the “best” friend, you’re missing the point entirely. Friendship isn’t about winning; it’s about supporting each other. Put down the invisible trophy and pick up some empathy instead.
9. You expect mind-reading skills from your friends.
Your friends aren’t psychic. If you’re getting mad at them for not knowing you’re upset without telling them, you’re setting everyone up for failure. Use your words, not your sulking skills. You’re an adult, so you need to act like it.
10. You treat social media like it’s a weapon.
Source: Unsplash Posting cryptic statuses about your friends and uploading photos where you know someone looks bad isn’t cool, it’s just petty. Social media shouldn’t be your personal battlefield. If you’ve got a problem with a friend, talk to them face-to-face, not screen-to-screen.
11. You play the victim.
If every story you tell paints you as the innocent victim and everyone else as the big bad wolf, it might be time for a reality check. Sometimes, you’re the one causing the drama, not just experiencing it. Own up to your part in problems instead of always pointing fingers.
12. You treat your friends like they’re disposable.
Friendship isn’t a buffet where you can pick and choose depending on your mood. If you’re only there for the good times and MIA during the tough stuff, you’re not a friend, you’re a fair-weather fan. Real friendships weather all seasons, not just the sunny ones.
13. You keep score.
Tallying up who paid for lunch last time or who owes who a favour is exhausting for everyone involved. Friendship isn’t about keeping a perfect balance sheet. It’s about giving without expecting anything in return. Put away the calculator and focus on being a good friend instead.
14. You never want to have tough onversations.
If you’re sweeping issues under the rug instead of addressing them, you’re creating a mountain of problems for later. Small issues turn into big resentments if you don’t talk about them. Put on your big kid pants and have those awkward conversations. It might be uncomfortable now, but it beats a friend-breakup later.
