Confidence is important in many aspects of life, but there’s a fine line between self-assurance and arrogance.
You want to feel good in your own skin and back yourself in personal and professional situations, but you have to stop short of coming off as full of yourself and a bit too egotistical. It’s a balance that can be hard to strike, but here’s how to do it.
1. Recognise your wins.
It’s important to take stock of your achievements. Celebrate them—big or small—and remind yourself of the hard work that led to them. Keeping a “win journal” where you write down your successes can help reinforce that feeling of accomplishment, so on tough days, you’ve got a reminder of what you’re capable of.
2. Set goals that make sense.
Break big goals into smaller, more manageable steps. Achieving these small victories will build confidence naturally. Using something like the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) helps you make progress without feeling overwhelmed, and each ticked box adds to your sense of capability.
3. Be kind to yourself.
When things go wrong, don’t beat yourself up. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend—compassion goes a long way. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow. Practice offering yourself the same patience and kindness you’d show someone you care about, and watch how your confidence grows.
4. Keep learning.
The more you know, the more confident you feel. Invest time in developing your skills, whether for work or personal hobbies. Set aside regular time to learn something new—it can be anything from an online course to practising a new recipe. Over time, these skills will naturally boost your self-assurance.
5. Pay attention to how you carry yourself.
How you stand and move affects how you feel. Practice standing tall, making eye contact, and smiling—it’ll not only help you appear more confident, but it will also help you feel more self-assured. If you’re feeling anxious before a big event, try power poses for a few minutes to give yourself a boost.
6. Challenge yourself a bit.
Source: Unsplash Take on challenges that scare you, starting small and building up. Each time you do something that pushes your limits, you’re proving to yourself that you can handle it. Facing fears is how confidence is built—it’s okay to be scared, but taking action despite that fear is where the magic happens.
7. Practise gratitude.
Make a habit of focusing on the good things in your life. Gratitude shifts your mindset from focusing on what’s missing to appreciating what you already have, which can make you feel more confident and content. Try listing three things you’re grateful for every morning or evening—it’s a small practice that makes a big difference over time.
8. Surround yourself with supportive people.
The people you spend time with can affect how you feel about yourself. Choose to be around those who encourage and support you, rather than those who bring negativity or make you doubt your abilities. Positive people help lift you up, and that energy rubs off on your confidence too.
9. Accept compliments — don’t deflect.
When someone compliments you, don’t brush it off. Just say “thank you” and let it sink in. Learning to accept compliments helps build self-esteem—it’s a simple but powerful way to acknowledge your worth. If it feels awkward at first, practice it. Over time, it’ll become more natural.
10. Know what makes you unique.
Everyone has their own strengths and talents. Take time to identify what yours are and lean into them. When you play to your strengths, you naturally feel more confident. You might even take a personality test or ask trusted friends what they think your best traits are—it’s a good way to see yourself more clearly.
11. Change how you talk to yourself.
Source: Unsplash Your inner dialogue matters. If you catch yourself being overly critical or harsh, pause and reframe those thoughts into something more positive. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” try, “I’m working on it.” The way you speak to yourself impacts your self-esteem more than you might realise.
12. Take care of your body.
Source: Unsplash When you feel good physically, it reflects mentally and emotionally. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and enough sleep all contribute to your overall wellbeing, which plays a big role in how confident you feel day-to-day. Self-care isn’t just a luxury—it’s a necessity for building confidence.
13. Help someone out.
Helping other people not only feels good but reminds you of your own skills and strengths. Whether it’s giving advice, volunteering, or lending a hand to a friend, contributing to other people’s lives gives your confidence a boost while creating a sense of purpose and connection.
14. Celebrate other people’s successes.
Confident people don’t feel threatened by someone else’s achievements. By celebrating other people’s wins, you show that you’re secure in yourself. Plus, spreading positivity helps create an encouraging environment that benefits everyone—including you.
15. Dress in a way that makes you feel great.
When you feel good in your clothes, it shows. Wear outfits that you’re comfortable in and that express who you are—it’ll make you walk a little taller and feel more confident. It’s not about following trends, but finding a style that’s authentically you.
16. Learn to say no.
Saying no can be tough, but it’s important for protecting your time and energy. Confident people know their limits and aren’t afraid to set boundaries when needed. Practice turning down things that don’t align with your goals or values—it’ll help you feel more in control and respected.
