Rejection is a natural part of life, and it’s definitely a part of dating.
Not everyone you’re interested in is going to reciprocate your feelings, and while that’s tough to face, it’s bound to happen. However, when it’s continuous, and you can’t seem to catch a break, it can really get you down. Here’s how to cope without letting it knock your self-esteem too badly.
1. Reframe rejection as redirection, not a reflection of your worth.
Rejections suck, but they’re not about you being “not good enough”. Think of them as signs pointing you towards someone who’s a better fit. It’s like the dating universe is doing you a favour. Most of the time, rejections are about the other person’s stuff, not yours. Maybe they’re not ready for dating, or you’re just not their cup of tea. That’s okay! Keep your chin up and keep moving forward.
2. Focus on self-improvement, not self-criticism.
Instead of beating yourself up, why not channel that energy into becoming even more awesome? Pick up a new hobby, crush it at work, or get into shape. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. When you’re working on being your best self, you’ll feel more confident. Plus, you’ll have cool stuff to talk about on future dates. Win-win!
3. Expand your social circle beyond dating prospects.
Don’t put all your eggs in the dating basket. Get out there and make some new friends! Join a club, hit up some events, or volunteer for a cause you care about. It’s a great way to meet people without the pressure of dating. Who knows? You might end up meeting someone special through your new connections. And even if you don’t, new friends are great too!
4. Practise self-compassion and positive self-talk.
Be nice to yourself, okay? Dating can be tough, and rejection is part of the game. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Treat yourself like you would a good friend going through the same thing. When those negative thoughts creep in, shut them down. Remind yourself of all the things that make you great. You’ve got this!
5. Take breaks from dating when needed.
Source: Unsplash If dating starts to feel like a chore, it’s totally okay to take a breather. Use that time to focus on yourself and the things that make you happy. Binge that TV show, take that trip, or just chill out for a bit. When you’re ready to jump back in, you’ll feel refreshed and excited about dating again. Sometimes, a little break is all you need to get your mojo back.
6. Ask for feedback, but don’t obsess over it.
If you’re feeling brave, ask a trusted friend or a date who ghosted you for some honest feedback. Just remember, it’s not about changing who you are, it’s about getting a different perspective. But hey, don’t take every piece of feedback as gospel. Everyone’s got different tastes. Use what feels right and ditch the rest. You do you!
7. Diversify your dating approach.
Source: Unsplash If swiping right isn’t working out, why not try something different? Maybe hit up some local events or ask your friends to play matchmaker. Mixing things up can breathe new life into your dating game. Different approaches might lead you to different people. Plus, it keeps things interesting. Who knows what (or who) you might stumble upon?
8. Set realistic expectations.
Source: Unsplash Finding the right person takes time. Don’t expect every coffee date to end in a whirlwind romance. It’s okay if most dates are just… well, dates. Try to enjoy meeting new people and learning about yourself along the way. Each date is a little adventure, even if it doesn’t lead to “happily ever after”.
9. Practice mindfulness and staying present.
Source: Unsplash Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on past rejections, try to stay in the moment. Whether you’re on a date or just hanging out, focus on what’s happening right now. Being present can help you chill out and connect better with people. Plus, it makes life more enjoyable overall. Win-win!
10. Celebrate small victories.
Give yourself a pat on the back for putting yourself out there. Seriously, it takes guts! Every date you go on is a step forward, regardless of how it turns out. Be proud of yourself for keeping at it, even when it gets tough. You’re out there trying, and that’s what counts. Treat yourself to something nice after each date — you’ve earned it!
