Sometimes, the hardest yet healthiest thing you can do is walk away from a toxic situation.
Whether it’s a draining friendship, a toxic work environment, or an unhealthy relationship, cutting ties can feel overwhelming but liberating. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up—it means you’re choosing peace and prioritising yourself for once. Of course, that doesn’t make it any easier to walk away — but these things might.
1. Recognise the toxicity.
The first step is acknowledging that a situation or relationship is toxic. Pay attention to how you feel after interactions—do you feel drained, anxious, or belittled? Trust your instincts and recognise patterns that harm your emotional, mental, or physical health.
2. Define your boundaries.
Before walking away, get clear on your boundaries. What behaviours or situations are no longer acceptable to you? Establishing these boundaries gives you clarity and confidence when deciding to cut ties. It’s a firm reminder to yourself of what you won’t tolerate moving forward.
3. Stop making excuses for the other person.
It’s easy to rationalise someone’s bad behaviour—“They didn’t mean it,” or “They’re going through a tough time.” While compassion is important, constantly excusing toxic behaviour prevents you from seeing the harm it’s causing. Hold them accountable and focus on your own well-being.
4. Get some advice and backup from people you trust.
Cutting ties can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide perspective and encouragement. Their support can make the process less daunting and help you stay strong.
5. Decide if a conversation is necessary.
In some cases, having a direct conversation with the person or people involved can bring closure. If you feel safe and comfortable, explain why you’re stepping away. Keep the focus on your feelings rather than blaming them, but know that a conversation isn’t always required—it’s your choice.
6. Plan your exit strategy.
If the situation involves a shared space or commitment, like a workplace or living arrangement, plan your exit carefully. Secure new opportunities, finalise any necessary logistics, and set a timeline. A well-thought-out plan reduces stress and ensures a smoother transition.
7. Limit contact gradually if needed.
Cutting ties doesn’t always have to be abrupt. For some situations, like with a family member or long-time friend, slowly reducing contact can feel more manageable. Start by creating distance and see how it affects your peace before making a final decision.
8. Prepare for pushback.
Toxic people or environments often resist change, especially when it disrupts their control or routine. You might face guilt-tripping, arguments, or attempts to lure you back. Stay firm in your decision and remind yourself of the reasons you’re choosing to leave.
9. Focus on your “why.”
When doubt or fear creeps in, revisit your reasons for leaving. Write them down if it helps. Keeping your “why” front and centre strengthens your resolve and reminds you that this step is about creating a healthier, happier life for yourself.
10. Avoid the urge to explain yourself repeatedly.
It’s natural to want other people to understand your decision, but toxic people may not see your point of view. Over-explaining can lead to unnecessary conflict or manipulation. Be clear and concise, and remember that your actions don’t need everyone’s approval.
11. Replace the toxic situation with healthier alternatives.
Leaving something toxic behind creates space for new, positive experiences. Fill that void with activities, relationships, or routines that bring you joy and fulfilment. Joining a supportive community or picking up a hobby can help you heal and move forward.
12. Allow yourself to grieve.
Even if the situation was harmful, it’s normal to feel sadness or loss when cutting ties. Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship or phase of your life. Acknowledging these emotions helps you process them and move forward with clarity.
13. Stay committed to your decision.
Leaving a toxic situation isn’t always a one-and-done process. Doubts, nostalgia, or external pressure might tempt you to return. Stay committed by reminding yourself of how far you’ve come and how much better life can be without toxicity holding you back. Choosing to leave a toxic situation is one of the most empowering steps you can take for your well-being. It’s not easy, but it’s a profound act of self-love and respect that paves the way for a healthier, happier future.
