When you’ve been with someone for a long time and truly love them, you don’t just throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble.
You have to fight for your relationship, especially if you know there’s still something worth saving. While obviously your partner needs to be willing to put in the work as well, here’s how to show them that you’re in it for the long haul and do everything you can to get back on the right path (and stay there).
1. Communication is your secret weapon.
Forget mind reading — it’s all about clear, honest chat. Tell your partner what’s on your mind, and listen when they do the same — no sulking or passive-aggressive sighs allowed. Good communication can solve a world of problems before they even start.
2. Pick your battles wisely.
Not every little niggle needs to be a full-blown argument. Ask yourself if it’s really worth kicking off about the unwashed mug in the sink. Save your energy for the big stuff that really matters. Sometimes, letting the small things slide is the best way to keep the peace.
3. Remember, you’re on the same team.
It’s not you versus them — it’s both of you against the problem. Approach issues as a united front rather than opponents. When you’re both working towards the same goal, you’re much more likely to find a solution that works for everyone.
4. Don’t let resentment fester.
If something’s bothering you, speak up sooner rather than later. Letting negative feelings simmer under the surface is a recipe for disaster. Address issues while they’re fresh — it’s easier to nip problems in the bud than to uproot a fully grown tree of resentment.
5. Keep the spark alive with little gestures.
Fighting for your relationship isn’t all about tackling problems — it’s also about nurturing the good stuff. Surprise your partner with their favourite treat, or leave a cheeky love note in their lunch box. These small acts of kindness can go a long way in keeping the flame burning.
6. Be willing to compromise.
Relationships are all about give and take. You can’t always have your way, and neither can they. Be ready to meet in the middle on issues. A good compromise leaves both parties feeling heard and respected, even if neither got exactly what they wanted.
7. Don’t take each other for granted.
It’s easy to fall into a routine and forget to appreciate your partner. Make a conscious effort to acknowledge the things they do, big and small. A heartfelt “thank you” can work wonders in making someone feel valued and loved.
8. Keep your own identity.
Fighting for your relationship doesn’t mean losing yourself in it. Maintain your own interests, friends, and goals. A strong individual identity makes for a stronger partnership. Plus, it gives you more interesting things to chat about over dinner!
9. Learn to forgive, but don’t forget to learn.
Holding grudges is relationship poison. Learn to forgive your partner (and yourself) for mistakes. But also, take the time to understand why things went wrong and how to avoid similar issues in the future. Forgiveness with growth is the key to moving forward.
10. Make time for each other.
In our busy lives, it’s easy for relationships to take a back seat. Prioritise spending quality time together, whether it’s a fancy date night or just cuddling on the sofa. Regular, undivided attention keeps your connection strong.
11. Be each other’s cheerleader.
Support your partner’s dreams and celebrate their victories, no matter how small. Being their biggest fan shows that you’re invested in their happiness. Plus, it’s much more fun to be with someone who builds you up rather than tears you down.
12. Keep the physical intimacy alive.
This isn’t just about sex (though that’s important too). Hold hands, hug, kiss — these physical connections are vital for maintaining intimacy. Even a quick shoulder squeeze as you pass in the kitchen can help keep that spark alive.
13. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong.
Swallowing your pride isn’t easy, but it’s necessary sometimes. If you’ve messed up, own it and apologise sincerely. A genuine “I’m sorry” can defuse tension and show your partner that you value the relationship more than being right.
14. Keep growing together.
Try new things as a couple. Take a cooking class, plan a trip to somewhere neither of you has been, or learn a new skill together. Shared experiences and growth can strengthen your bond and give you fresh things to talk about.
15. Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s.
Every relationship is unique, so don’t measure yours against your mate’s or what you see on social media. Focus on what works for you two, not what looks good on Instagram. Remember, you’re seeing everyone else’s highlights reel, not their behind-the-scenes.
16. Learn each other’s love languages.
People express and receive love differently. Some need words of affirmation, others prefer acts of service. Figure out how you and your partner best give and receive love, and make an effort to speak each other’s love language.
17. Don’t let outside influences come between you.
Whether it’s well-meaning family members or nosy friends, don’t let other people dictate your relationship. Make decisions as a team and present a united front to the world. Your relationship is between you two, not the whole neighbourhood.
18. Keep your sense of humour.
Laughter really can be the best medicine. Don’t take everything so seriously — learn to laugh at yourselves and the silly situations life throws at you. A shared giggle can defuse tension and remind you why you enjoy each other’s company.
19. Be patient with each other.
Change and growth take time. If you’re both working on improving your relationship, remember that it’s a process. Don’t expect overnight miracles, but do acknowledge and celebrate the small steps forward.
20. Remember why you fell in love in the first place.
When things get tough, think back to what drew you to your partner initially. Those qualities are still there, even if they’re sometimes hidden under the stresses of daily life. Reconnecting with those early feelings can reignite your motivation to fight for your love.
