Some people aren’t very easy to get along with, but it’s still worth trying.
If you’re someone who hates discord, and prefers it when everyone is alright with each other, you’ll know just how uncomfortable it can be when there’s tension. While you’re never going to be best friends with everyone, and that’s perfectly okay, you can at least stay cordial with them by doing these things.
1. Listening is your secret superpower.
Turns out, most people just want to be heard. So, zip those lips and open your ears. Really tune in to what the other person is saying. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Ask questions, nod along, and show genuine interest. You’d be amazed how far a good listening ear can take you in building rapport, even with someone you thought you had nothing in common with.
2. Find common ground, even if it’s tiny.
There’s always something you can connect on, even if it’s as simple as both liking coffee or hating traffic. Maybe you both have pets, or you’re both trying to cut down on screen time. Whatever it is, latch onto that shared interest and use it as a starting point. It’s like finding a tiny island of familiarity in a sea of differences.
3. Respect is non-negotiable.
You don’t have to agree with someone to respect them. Treat everyone with basic human dignity, regardless of your differences. This means no eye-rolling, no dismissive comments, and no talking down to people. Even if you think their ideas are bonkers, remember they’re entitled to their opinions. A little respect goes a long way in smoothing over potential conflicts.
4. Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, it made friends.
Approach differences with genuine curiosity rather than judgment. Ask questions about their experiences, beliefs, or lifestyle choices. Why do they think that way? What led them to that conclusion? You don’t have to agree, but understanding where someone is coming from can help build empathy and connection. Plus, you might learn something new!
5. Humour is the universal language.
A well-timed joke or a bit of self-deprecating humour can break the ice in even the most awkward situations. Just keep it light and avoid potentially offensive topics. Sharing a laugh is a great way to bond with someone, even if you don’t see eye to eye on everything else. Just remember to read the room — not everyone appreciates a stand-up routine during a serious discussion.
6. Your way isn’t the only way.
We all think our way of doing things is the best, but guess what? There’s usually more than one right way to approach something. Try to be open to different perspectives and methods. Maybe that person you’re butting heads with has a point or a useful approach you hadn’t considered. Flexibility in thinking can lead to some surprising and rewarding connections.
7. Empathy is your best friend.
Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What might be influencing their behaviour or opinions? Are they going through a tough time? Do they have experiences that have shaped their worldview? Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it can help you understand where they’re coming from and respond more compassionately.
8. Body language speaks volumes.
Your words might be saying one thing, but your body could be screaming another. Pay attention to your non-verbal cues. Uncross those arms, make eye contact, and nod along when appropriate. A friendly, open posture can make you seem more approachable and can help put everyone at ease, even if you’re feeling a bit uncomfortable yourself.
9. Honesty is (usually) the best policy.
Source: Unsplash If you’re struggling to connect or feeling frustrated, it’s okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, “I know we have different views on this, but I’d really like to find a way for us to work together.” Honesty, when delivered kindly, can clear the air and pave the way for more authentic conversations. Just remember to keep it constructive!
10. Pick your battles wisely.
Source: Unsplash Not every disagreement needs to turn into a debate. Sometimes, it’s okay to let things slide for the sake of harmony. Ask yourself if this is really a hill worth dying on. If it’s not a matter of core values or ethics, consider letting it go. Save your energy for the issues that truly matter.
11. Focus on the person, not the label.
It’s easy to get caught up in categories — liberal, conservative, vegan, meat-eater, whatever. But people are complex and rarely fit neatly into boxes. Try to see the individual beyond the label. You might be surprised at what you find when you look past your initial assumptions and really get to know someone.
12. Practice patience, lots of it.
Building relationships, especially with people who are different from you, takes time. Don’t expect instant harmony. Be patient with people, and with yourself. It’s okay if things feel awkward or uncomfortable at first. Keep at it, and you’ll likely find that things get easier with time and practice.
13. Remember, you don’t have to be best friends.
The goal isn’t always to become bosom buddies. Sometimes, just being able to coexist peacefully or work together effectively is a win. It’s okay if you don’t click on a deep level with everyone. Aim for mutual respect and civil interactions, and consider anything beyond that a bonus.
14. Keep an open mind, always.
Finally, approach every conversation with an open mind. People can surprise you if you let them. Your preconceived notions might be way off base. Give people a chance to show you who they really are, and be willing to challenge your own assumptions. You never know — that person you thought you’d never get along with might just become an unexpected ally or friend.
