Getting your husband to be more hands-on with the kids can sometimes feel like an uphill battle (even if it shouldn’t be one at all).
Whether he’s busy, unsure of what to do, or just stuck in his ways, you want to encourage him without making it feel like a chore. The good news? There are plenty of ways to gently nudge him toward more family time that are supportive, fun, and effective. He’s a good guy, so he should be receptive to these little “hints.”
1. Focus on his strengths as a dad.
Instead of pointing out what he’s not doing, highlight the things he does well. Maybe he’s great at bedtime stories, building Lego masterpieces, or playing silly games. Compliment these strengths and suggest more activities along those lines. Positive reinforcement works wonders!
2. Invite him to join specific activities.
Rather than saying, “You need to spend more time with the kids,” try inviting him to join in specific activities. “We’re baking cookies this afternoon — want to help?” makes it easier for him to say yes. Concrete plans are less daunting than vague expectations.
3. Share how much the kids enjoy his company.
Sometimes, dads don’t realise just how much their kids love being around them. Casually mention how excited the kids get when he plays with them. “They loved playing football with you the other day!” can make him feel valued and encourage him to do it more often.
4. Create a routine he can own.
Assigning your husband a regular “dad duty” helps make interaction consistent. Maybe he handles bath time, bedtime stories, or Saturday morning breakfasts. When he knows what’s expected and has a routine to follow, it becomes a natural part of his role.
5. Suggest fun “dad and kid” outings.
Source: Unsplash Encourage your husband to plan special outings with the kids. Whether it’s a trip to the park, the cinema, or a local museum, these adventures give him a chance to bond in a low-pressure setting. Plus, it gives you a bit of downtime — everyone wins!
6. Let him take the lead.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, dads hesitate because they feel like they’re doing things “wrong.” Step back and let him handle things his way. Whether he’s dressing the kids in mismatched clothes or making up silly rules for games, letting him lead boosts his confidence and makes the experience fun.
7. Show appreciation for his efforts.
Source: Unsplash A simple “Thanks for spending time with the kids today” goes a long way. Acknowledging his effort makes him feel appreciated and more likely to keep it up. Everyone likes to hear they’re doing a good job — dads included.
8. Remind him that small moments matter.
Spending time with the kids doesn’t have to be a grand event. Remind your husband that simple moments — like reading a bedtime story, playing a quick game, or helping with homework — mean a lot. Quality time can come in bite-sized chunks.
9. Avoid comparing him to other dads.
It’s tempting to say, “Tom takes his kids to the park every weekend — why don’t you?” But comparisons often backfire and create resentment. Focus on what he can do rather than what someone else is doing. Encouragement works better than criticism.
10. Encourage activities he genuinely enjoys.
If your husband loves football, music, or DIY projects, suggest he involve the kids in those activities. When he gets to share something he loves, it feels less like an obligation and more like a fun bonding experience. The enthusiasm becomes contagious.
11. Be clear about your needs — without nagging.
Sometimes, he might not realise you need more help. Clearly express what you’re looking for, like, “It would really help me if you could play with the kids while I cook dinner.” Direct requests are often more effective than hinting or nagging.
12. Make family time a team effort.
Suggest activities that include everyone, like a family board game night or a picnic. When he sees how much fun family time can be, he may be more motivated to do solo activities with the kids. Family bonding often leads to stronger one-on-one bonds.
13. Share stories of your kids’ milestones.
Telling your husband about the funny or touching moments he might have missed can spark his interest. “You should’ve seen their face when they scored that goal!” can inspire him to be there for the next milestone. FOMO (fear of missing out) can work in your favour!
14. Schedule “dad time” in advance.
Sometimes, life gets busy, and good intentions fall through the cracks. Scheduling dedicated “dad time” — even putting it on the calendar — makes it more likely to happen. It’s a simple way to prioritise bonding without leaving it to chance.
15. Let him know it’s okay to be imperfect.
Some dads avoid interacting with their kids because they fear messing up. Reassure him that he doesn’t have to be perfect. Kids don’t need flawless parents — they just need present ones. Letting go of that pressure makes it easier for him to jump in and enjoy the moment.
16. Celebrate the progress together.
Source: Unsplash When he starts spending more time with the kids, celebrate those moments together. Reflect on how much the kids love it and how it’s strengthened the family bond. A little recognition goes a long way, and it reinforces how valuable his presence truly is.
