Between work, family, endless WhatsApp chats you never quite reply to, and that vague intention to “slow down soon,” it’s easy for friendships to slide to the bottom of the priority list. But those relationships still matter, sometimes more than we realise. They’re the people who knew us before everything got complicated, and keeping those connections strong doesn’t have to mean grand gestures or constant check-ins. Here are some simple ways to keep your friendships solid, even when life gets hectic.
1. Send a low-effort check-in—you can manage it.
You don’t have to write a novel or set up a catch-up call every time. A “Saw this and thought of you” text or a meme that made you laugh can go a long way. It’s the little reminders that say, “You’re still on my radar.” People underestimate how powerful those casual check-ins can be. They don’t demand much time, but they keep the thread of connection from going cold. And sometimes, they open the door to a proper catch-up later.
2. Drop the guilt about delayed replies.
Sometimes you don’t reply for days or weeks because life is chaos. Then the guilt kicks in, and suddenly, you feel too awkward to reply at all. But good friends get it. Most of us are in the same boat. Send the message anyway. You don’t need a perfect excuse. Just a “Sorry it’s been a bit, how are you?” is often all it takes. Your friend is probably just glad to hear from you.
3. Use voice notes if you’re short on time.
Typing out a message when you’re fried can feel like too much, but rambling into your phone while walking to the shop? Easy. Voice notes can feel way more personal, and they let your friend hear your tone and mood. It’s a lovely middle ground between texting and calling—casual, quick, and more human. Plus, your mate can listen while folding laundry or cooking dinner. No pressure for an immediate reply.
4. Say yes to the spontaneous stuff.
If a friend invites you out last minute and your calendar allows it, go. You don’t have to wait for the perfect weekend or well-planned meetup. Some of the best moments happen when you say yes without overthinking. When life gets busy, planned hangs can feel impossible. But grabbing a coffee after work or walking to the shops together can be just as meaningful, and way easier to fit in.
5. Be honest about your capacity.
If you’re going through it—mentally, emotionally, physically—tell your friend instead of ghosting. Most people aren’t upset about the delay, they’re just wondering what’s up. A simple “I’m overwhelmed but thinking of you” does the job. Honesty helps friendships feel less performative and more human. You’re not a bad friend for having limits. Saying what you can (and can’t) offer in the moment is what keeps things real.
6. Make use of shared routines.
If you’re both doing life admin or workouts anyway, do it together. Schedule a call during your walk, plan your Tesco runs at the same time, or even just sync your morning coffees and chat for 10 minutes. You’re not adding a new task; you’re just building connection into stuff you already do. It makes keeping in touch feel easy and natural, rather than like one more thing on your to-do list.
7. Celebrate the small stuff.
You don’t have to wait for birthdays or big life events to show up. If your friend nails a presentation, finishes a stressful week, or just manages to get dressed and leave the house, cheer them on. It keeps the connection alive and shows you’re still paying attention. Everyone likes to feel seen, and celebrating life’s little wins is one of the simplest ways to do that.
8. Be the one to make the first move.
Don’t get stuck in the loop of “they haven’t messaged me, so I won’t message them.” If you miss someone, reach out. Friendships aren’t scoreboards, and someone has to go first. Chances are, they’ve been meaning to contact you too. You’ll both be glad someone broke the silence, and it usually resets the rhythm for both of you.
9. Accept that some times in life are quieter.
Friendships naturally ebb and flow. When life is chaotic, you might not talk for a while, and that’s okay. A quiet patch doesn’t mean the friendship is broken, just that you’re both living full, messy lives. When the dust settles, you can pick back up. True friendships survive pauses, awkward timing, and all the ups and downs in between. Trusting that helps you stop stressing when you don’t talk every day.
10. Make catch-ups easier to say yes to.
If your friend is knackered from work, and you suggest a six-hour brunch across town, the answer’s probably no. Instead, keep it simple with a short walk, a coffee near their house, or even a chat while running errands. Low-maintenance plans make it easier for people to say yes without feeling drained. It’s not about grand outings; it’s about moments that feel doable, even when life’s full-on.
11. Don’t overcomplicate reconnections.
It’s easy to overthink what to say after a long gap, especially if months have passed. Seriously—a simple “Miss you, want to catch up soon?” cuts through the weirdness better than a long apology ever could. You’re not being judged. People drift and come back together all the time. The longer you wait for the perfect message, the harder it gets. Just break the silence — it’s never as awkward as it seems.
12. Let them know they still matter.
You might not be able to see your friends as much as you’d like, but don’t assume they know how important they still are. Tell them. A quick message saying “You popped into my head today” can genuinely make someone’s week. We all want to feel like we matter, even if life is hectic. You don’t have to be perfect at staying in touch. You just have to show you still care, in whatever way you can.
