Walking away from a toxic relationship isn’t easy, even when you know it’s for the best.
Chances are, you’ve invested a lot of time, energy, and love into the other person, and walking away from that can feel like a colossal failure. However, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled, and this relationship will never be able to offer it. Here’s how to bring yourself to let go so you can walk away with your head held high.
1. Recognise the signs of a toxic relationship.
The first step is acknowledging that your relationship is unhealthy. Look for signs like constant criticism, lack of respect, controlling behaviour, or feeling drained after interactions. Understanding these patterns can help you realise it’s time to make a change.
2. Trust your instincts.
If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore your gut feelings or make excuses for bad behaviour. Your instincts are there to protect you, so listen to them. They’re often right, even if your heart is telling you otherwise.
3. Look after yourself.
Start prioritising your own well-being. This could mean getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy. Taking care of yourself can boost your confidence and give you the strength to make tough decisions.
4. Put some immovable boundaries in place.
Establish what you will and won’t accept in the relationship. Communicate these boundaries clearly and stick to them. This helps create a sense of self-respect and can make the decision to leave easier if these boundaries are continually crossed.
5. Lean on your friends and family for support.
Reach out to people you trust. Share your feelings and experiences with them. Having a support system can provide emotional comfort and practical help when you’re ready to leave. They can offer different perspectives and remind you of your worth.
6. Plan for your safety.
If there’s any risk of physical harm, prioritise your safety above all else. Have a plan in place for where you’ll go and how you’ll get there. Keep important documents and some money in a safe place. Don’t hesitate to contact authorities if you feel threatened.
7. Prepare for emotional manipulation.
Toxic partners often use guilt, promises of change, or threats to keep you in the relationship. Be prepared for these tactics and remind yourself why you’re leaving. Stay firm in your decision, even when it’s difficult.
8. Cut off contact.
Once you’ve left, minimise or eliminate contact with your ex-partner. This might mean blocking their number, unfollowing them on social media, or avoiding places they frequent. Creating this distance can help you heal and move on more quickly.
9. Allow yourself to grieve.
It’s normal to feel sad, angry, or confused after ending a relationship, even a toxic one. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions. Cry if you need to, journal your thoughts, or talk to a friend. Acknowledging your feelings is an important part of the healing process.
10. Focus on the future.
Start thinking about what you want your life to look like without this relationship. Set new goals for yourself, whether they’re related to your career, hobbies, or personal growth. Having things to look forward to can help you stay motivated during tough times.
11. Learn from the experience.
Reflect on what you’ve learned from this relationship. Identify red flags you might have missed and think about what you want in future relationships. Use this knowledge to make healthier choices going forward.
12. Be patient with yourself.
Healing takes time, and it’s not always a linear process. You might have days where you feel great and others where you miss your ex. That’s okay. Be kind to yourself and remember that moving on is a gradual process.
13. Rediscover your identity.
Toxic relationships can make you lose sight of who you are. Take time to reconnect with your interests, values, and goals. Try new things and rediscover what makes you happy outside of a relationship.
14. Create new routines.
Source: Unsplash Establish new daily habits that don’t revolve around your ex-partner. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work or starting a new morning ritual. These changes can help break old patterns and create a sense of fresh start.
15. Celebrate small victories.
Acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small. Maybe you went a whole day without thinking about your ex, or you stood up for yourself in a difficult situation. Recognising these achievements can boost your confidence and motivation to keep moving forward.
16. Embrace being single.
Source: Unsplash Use this time to focus on yourself. Enjoy the freedom to make decisions without considering a partner. Discover new aspects of your personality and interests. Being comfortable with yourself is crucial before entering any new relationship.
