Sometimes people are really good at saying things that stick in your brain and upset you long after they’ve been uttered.
However, you don’t have to let their comments live in your mind rent-free. Here’s how to not let the things people say get to you so much. It’s easier said than done, but with a little practise, you’ll be surprised at how simple it becomes.
1. Accept that not everyone will like or agree with you.
Source: Unsplash It’s just a fact of life, isn’t it? We’re all unique individuals with our own opinions, values, and perspectives. And that’s okay! Trying to please everyone is a recipe for exhaustion and frustration. So, embrace your individuality, express yourself authentically, and don’t take it personally when someone doesn’t vibe with you.
2. Develop a thick skin and don’t take everything personally.
Words can sting, no doubt about it. But it’s important to remember that not every comment is a personal attack. Sometimes people say things without thinking, or they might be projecting their own insecurities onto you. Don’t let their words define you or dictate your self-worth.
3. Focus on your own self-worth and validation.
Your value doesn’t depend on what others think of you. It comes from within. Cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and learn to validate yourself. When you know your own value, other people’s opinions have less power over you. It’s like having an internal shield that deflects negativity and allows you to stay true to yourself.
4. Practise mindfulness and stay present.
When those negative comments start replaying in your head, mindfulness can be your best friend. It’s about bringing your attention to the present moment, acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment. By focusing on the here and now, you can break free from the cycle of rumination and find a sense of peace and calm.
5. Challenge negative thoughts and reframe them in a positive light.
Our thoughts have a powerful impact on our emotions. If you find yourself dwelling on negative comments, try to challenge them and reframe them in a more positive light. Ask yourself if the comment is really true, or if it’s just someone’s opinion. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself of all the reasons why you’re awesome.
6. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
Source: Unsplash The company you keep can have a big impact on your mood and outlook on life. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, encourage you, and make you feel good about yourself. These positive influences can act as a buffer against negativity and help you maintain a healthy perspective.
7. Communicate assertively and express your needs.
Source: Unsplash If someone says something that bothers you, don’t be afraid to speak up. Express your feelings in a calm and assertive way, letting them know how their words impacted you. This doesn’t mean you have to start a fight or get defensive, but it does mean standing up for yourself and communicating your needs clearly.
8. Choose your battles wisely.
Source: Unsplash Not every comment warrants a response. Sometimes, it’s best to let things slide and focus your energy on more important things. Choose your battles wisely and don’t waste your time and energy on people who aren’t worth it. Remember, you can’t control what others say or do, but you can control how you react to it.
9. Practise self-care and prioritise your well-being.
Source: Unsplash When you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it’s easy to let other people’s comments get under your skin. But taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally, can help you build resilience and cope with negativity more effectively. Make time for activities that bring you joy, nourish your body with healthy food, and get enough sleep. When you’re feeling good, you’re less likely to let other people’s opinions affect you.
10. Focus on your own goals and aspirations.
Source: Unsplash When you’re busy pursuing your dreams and living a life that’s meaningful to you, other people’s opinions become less important. Set goals for yourself, work towards them with passion and determination, and celebrate your achievements along the way. This will boost your confidence and remind you that your worth is not defined by others’ approval.
11. Learn to let go and forgive.
Source: Unsplash Walking around angry and resentful only hurts you in the long run. Learning to forgive those who have hurt you, even if they don’t deserve it, can be incredibly liberating. It doesn’t mean you’re condoning their behaviour, but it does mean you’re choosing to release the negative emotions that are weighing you down. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, allowing you to move forward with a lighter heart and a clearer mind.
12. Go to therapy or speak to a counsellor if you can.
Source: Unsplash If you’re struggling to cope with negativity or if other people’s comments are having a significant impact on your mental health, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your emotions, build resilience, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. They can also help you explore any underlying issues that might be making you more sensitive to criticism or negativity.
13. Limit your exposure to negativity.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s social media, toxic relationships, or negative news, it’s important to be mindful of the information you consume. If certain things consistently trigger negative emotions or self-doubt, it’s okay to limit your exposure to them. You don’t have to subject yourself to negativity if it’s not serving you. Choose to focus on positive and uplifting content that inspires and motivates you.
14. Develop a sense of humour and learn to laugh at yourself.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, the best way to deal with negativity is to laugh it off. Not every comment needs to be taken seriously. If you can learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything so personally, it can be a powerful way to disarm negativity and maintain a positive outlook. Remember, laughter is contagious, and it can also help to diffuse tense situations and build connections with others.
15. Remember that you’re in control of your own happiness.
Ultimately, your happiness is your responsibility. You can’t control what other people say or do, but you can control how you react to it. Choose to focus on the positive, surround yourself with supportive people, and pursue activities that bring you joy. Remember, you are the author of your own story, and you have the power to create a life that’s filled with happiness, purpose, and fulfilment. Don’t let anyone else’s words or actions dim your light.
