Sometimes, life puts you in situations where you have to be around people who rub you the wrong way.
Whether it’s a co-worker, a family member, or a friend-of-a-friend, avoiding them isn’t always an option, unfortunately. So, how do you get through these encounters without snapping or losing your sanity? Putting some of these tips into practise might help you out a bit.
1. Keep conversations surface-level.
Source: Unsplash You don’t have to dive into deep discussions with someone you can’t stand. Stick to light, neutral topics like the weather, TV shows, or general news. This keeps the conversation low-risk and reduces the chances of spiralling into something frustrating or argumentative.
2. Set a time limit.
If you know you’ll be around this person, plan ahead by setting a mental time limit. Telling yourself, “I only have to get through an hour,” can make things more manageable. Having an endpoint in sight helps you keep your composure.
3. Focus on neutral or shared goals.
Source: Unsplash If you’re stuck working on a project together or attending a family event, focus on the shared objective. When your attention is on completing a task or keeping the peace for the sake of an occasion, it’s easier to tune out annoying behaviours.
4. Practise active listening (even if it’s painful).
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, letting the other person talk without much input from you is the easiest way to survive. Nod, make polite noises, and let them carry the conversation. You’re participating just enough to avoid conflict without getting deeply involved.
5. Maintain a mental “buffer zone.”
Source: Unsplash Picture an invisible buffer zone between you and the person. Having a bit of safe mental space reminds you to emotionally distance yourself from their behaviour. You can observe what they’re saying or doing without letting it get under your skin.
6. Plan an exit strategy.
Have a polite excuse ready to wrap things up when you need to. Phrases like “I’ve got to get going soon” or “I need to take a call” can help you bow out gracefully. Knowing you have an exit plan can make the situation feel less suffocating.
7. Keep your body language neutral.
Even if your brain is screaming, try to keep your body language calm and composed. Crossed arms, eye-rolls, or sighs can escalate things. A relaxed posture and polite eye contact help keep the interaction smooth, even if it’s all an act.
8. Find something (anything!) you appreciate about them.
Source: Unsplash This might be a challenge, but finding one small thing you respect or admire can make them more tolerable. Maybe they’re punctual, good at their job, or have a decent sense of style. Focusing on that tiny positive can soften your irritation.
9. Breathe—seriously.
Source: Unsplash When you feel your patience running out, take a few deep breaths. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. It sounds basic, but it helps reset your nervous system and keeps you from snapping. It’s a small tool, but surprisingly effective.
10. Use humour as a coping tool.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, the best way to survive is to find humour in the situation. Mentally turning the interaction into a sitcom episode or imagining funny commentary can help you stay relaxed. Just don’t let that laughter slip out at the wrong time!
11. Remind yourself it’s temporary.
Source: Unsplash Even the most unbearable people can’t be around forever. Remind yourself that this interaction has a time limit and that you’ll soon be free. The knowledge that relief is coming can keep you from spiralling into frustration.
12. Don’t take things personally.
Source: Unsplash If the person says or does things that irritate you, remind yourself that it’s a reflection of them, not you. Their behaviour probably has nothing to do with you personally. Letting go of personal attachment helps you shrug off their nonsense more easily.
13. Practice “grey rocking.”
Source: Unsplash This technique involves making yourself as uninteresting and neutral as possible. Give short, simple responses and avoid showing strong emotions. The goal is to discourage them from engaging deeply with you. It’s like emotional camouflage.
14. Vent to someone you trust afterward.
Source: Unsplash Knowing you have someone to vent to after the encounter can make it easier to get through. A good rant session with a friend, partner, or journal can help you process your frustration and get it out of your system in a healthy way.
15. Reward yourself afterward.
Surviving an encounter with someone you can’t stand deserves a little treat. Plan something enjoyable for afterward—a favourite snack, a relaxing bath, or an episode of your comfort show. Having a reward waiting can make the experience feel more bearable.
