As we get older, keeping in touch with our mates can become a bit of a challenge — and that’s putting it lightly.
Source: Pexels Work, family, and life in general have a way of eating up our time to the point that being able to socialise for even a few hours feels pretty much impossible. The thing is, staying in touch with our friends is so important for our happiness and overall wellness, especially as we age. Here’s how to keep those connections strong, how matter how busy you get.
1. Make a proper effort to schedule regular catch-ups.
It’s easy to say “we should meet up soon” and never follow through, so avoid the vagueness and try to set specific dates for get-togethers. Maybe it’s a monthly pub night or a quarterly dinner — whatever it is, having something in the diary makes it more likely to happen. It gives you both (or all, if there are more than two of you) something to look forward to and shows you’re prioritising the friendship.
2. Make use of technology to stay in touch.
Source: Unsplash While nothing beats face-to-face chats, technology can be a godsend for staying connected. You’re on your phone 24/7 anyway, so why not use it for good Video calls, group chats, and social media can help bridge the gap when you can’t meet in person. Don’t be afraid to send a quick text or funny meme — these small interactions can help maintain the connection between bigger catch-ups.
3. Be understanding of each other’s busy lives.
We don’t suddenly have fewer responsibilities when we get older — it’s usually the opposite. Try to be understanding if your friend can’t always make it to every gathering. Life happens, and sometimes work or family commitments have to take priority. The key is to keep the door open and be flexible. Maybe a quick coffee catch-up can replace a longer outing if time is tight.
4. Share in each other’s important life events.
Make an effort to be there for the big moments in your friends’ lives. Weddings, birthdays, job promotions — these are all opportunities to show you care and strengthen your bond. Even if you can’t always be there in person, sending a thoughtful card or gift can mean a lot. It shows you’re thinking of them and still want to be part of their life.
5. Find common interests or hobbies to share.
Shared activities can be a great way to stay connected. Maybe you and your friend both enjoy hiking, or you could join a book club together. Having a common interest gives you a reason to meet up regularly and provides built-in conversation topics. It’s a fun way to stay connected while also pursuing something you both enjoy. Given how busy we all are, hitting two birds with one stone is always a win.
6. Don’t let distance be a deal-breaker.
If you or your friends move away, it doesn’t have to mean the end of the friendship. Long-distance friendships can work if you put in the effort. Plan visits when you can, have regular video chats, or even start a tradition of sending each other care packages. Distance can make things trickier, but it doesn’t have to diminish the quality of your friendship. My best friend lives in another country, and we’re just as close as ever, so no excuses here!
7. Be open and honest about your feelings.
Brits aren’t exactly the best at expressing our emotions, so telling our friends how much we love them probably doesn’t come naturally to most of us. However, being open with your friends about how much they mean to you can strengthen your bond. Don’t be afraid to tell your mates you miss them or appreciate them. A little vulnerability can go a long way in maintaining deep, meaningful friendships.
8. Create new traditions together.
Establishing new traditions can give your friendship structure and something to look forward to. Maybe it’s an annual weekend trip, a Christmas Eve dinner, or a summer barbecue. Whatever you decide on, these traditions become part of the fabric of your friendship by creating shared experiences and memories that keep you connected year after year.
9. Be willing to make new friends, too.
While it’s important to maintain old friendships, being open to new ones can enrich your life in many ways. Join clubs, volunteer, or take classes — all these can be great ways to meet like-minded people. Having a mix of old and new friends can keep your social life vibrant and interesting as you age.
10. Support each other through life’s challenges.
The older we get, the more tough times we’re likely to face in life. Being there for your friends during tough times — whether it’s a divorce, job loss, or health issue — can deepen your bond. Offer a listening ear, practical help, or just a distraction when they need it. After all, mutual support is what turns good friends into lifelong ones.
11. Don’t let small disagreements fester.
In long-term friendships, disagreements are bound to happen. The key is not to let small issues grow into bigger problems. Address concerns openly and honestly when they come up, instead of brushing them under the carpet. A good friendship is worth the occasional awkward conversation. Clearing the air can often bring you closer together.
12. Make an effort to know your friends’ families.
As we get older, our families often become a bigger part of our lives. Making an effort to know and connect with your friends’ partners, kids, or even pets can help you stay involved in their world. It also makes it easier to plan gatherings that include everyone, so your friendships can evolve alongside your family lives.
13. Be the one to reach out first sometimes.
Don’t always wait for your friends to make the first move. Take the initiative to reach out, plan get-togethers, or just check in. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that they’re too busy because they haven’t reached out, but often, they might be thinking the same about you. A quick message asking how they’re doing can restart the conversation.
14. Reminisce about old times, but focus on making new memories too.
While it’s fun to relive old memories, make sure you’re creating new ones too. Trying new experiences together keeps the friendship fresh and exciting. Whether it’s exploring a new restaurant or taking a class together, these fun experiences will give you plenty to talk about and bond over.
15. Adjust your expectations as life changes.
Friendships change over the years, and they look a whole lot different in your 40s and 50s than they did in your teens and 20s. You might not be able to meet up as often or stay out as late as you used to. That’s okay. The key is to adjust your expectations and find new ways to connect that fit your current lifestyles. Quality of time spent together often becomes more important than quantity.
16. Remember that it’s never too late to reconnect.
If you’ve lost touch with old friends, don’t be afraid to reach out. Many people find that rekindling old friendships in later life can be incredibly rewarding. You might be surprised at how quickly you can pick up where you left off. Life’s too short for regrets, so if you’re thinking about an old friend, why not drop them a line?
