How To Stop Getting on Everyone’s Nerves (And Maybe Even Make Some Friends)

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We’ve all been that person who gets on everyone’s nerves from time to time.

Maybe you talk too much, overshare personal details, or constantly complain. Whatever the reason, it can be a lonely feeling. It’s even more lonely when you feel like you’re being yourself and still annoying people. But don’t worry, it’s possible to turn things around. With a few simple tweaks, you can become someone people enjoy being around, maybe even someone they call a friend.

1. You never say what you’re really thinking or feelings.

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Maybe you keep quiet instead of disagreeing with someone in a meeting. Or you nod along with a friend’s opinion even if you don’t genuinely feel the same way. While a little diplomacy is important, constantly censoring your true thoughts might be a sign you’re afraid of being judged or disliked if people knew what you really believed.

2. You have no empathy for people.

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Empathy is the ability to understand and share people’s feelings. If you lack empathy, you may come across as cold, insensitive, or even mean. This can make it difficult to connect with people on a deeper level.

3. You’re overly critical of everyone.

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It’s one thing to offer constructive criticism, but if you’re constantly nitpicking at people, it’s going to wear thin quickly. People want to feel supported and appreciated, not judged and belittled.

4. You’re constantly talking about yourself.

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It’s great to share your stories and experiences, but remember, conversations are a two-way street. If you’re always dominating the conversation, people will start to tune you out. Show genuine interest in people and ask them questions about their lives.

5. You don’t respect personal boundaries.

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Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to personal space and sharing information. If you’re constantly invading people’s privacy or oversharing, it can make them feel uncomfortable and resentful. Pay attention to social cues and back off if someone seems uncomfortable.

6. You make everything about yourself.

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Someone tells you about their bad day, and you immediately launch into a story about your own even worse day. A friend gets engaged, and you start talking about your dream wedding. It’s important to be supportive and happy for people, not turn every conversation into a competition or a chance to one-up them.

7. You’re a constant complainer.

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Everyone has bad days and things to complain about, but if you’re always focusing on the negative, it’s going to drain the energy out of everyone around you. Try to find the silver linings in situations and focus on the positive aspects of your life.

8. You take things too personally.

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Not every comment or action is directed at you. If someone makes a joke, don’t immediately assume they’re trying to insult you. If a friend cancels plans, don’t automatically think they’re rejecting you. Give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t let your insecurities dictate your reactions.

9. You lack self-awareness.

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If you’re unaware of how your actions and words affect people, you’ll keep repeating the same annoying behaviours. Pay attention to people’s reactions when you’re talking or interacting with them. Do they seem engaged, or are they looking for an escape route? Reflect on your behaviour and ask trusted friends for honest feedback.

10. You’re always late.

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Being chronically late is a sign of disrespect for other people’s time. It conveys the message that your time is more important than theirs. If you struggle with punctuality, set alarms, plan your schedule carefully, and aim to arrive a few minutes early. This shows you value their time and are considerate of their schedules.

11. You don’t apologise sincerely.

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If you make a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings, a genuine apology can go a long way in mending fences. But if your apologies are insincere or come with excuses, they’ll only make things worse. When apologising, take responsibility for your actions, express remorse, and offer to make amends.

12. You have poor hygiene habits.

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This might seem obvious, but bad breath, body odour, or unkempt appearance can be a major turn-off for people. Practice good hygiene habits like brushing your teeth, showering regularly, and wearing clean clothes. It shows you care about yourself and respect the people around you.

13. You’re overly competitive.

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A little friendly competition can be fun, but if you’re always trying to one-up everyone, it can be exhausting for people. Celebrate other people’s successes and don’t let your competitive streak ruin the fun.

14. You’re constantly seeking validation.

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If you need constant reassurance and approval from people, it can be draining for them. Learn to validate yourself and build your self-confidence. Focus on your accomplishments and strengths, and don’t rely on external validation to feel good about yourself.

15. You gossip and spread rumours.

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Gossiping might seem like harmless fun, but it can hurt people’s feelings and damage reputations. If you’re known as a gossip, people will be hesitant to trust you with their secrets or confidences. Choose to be a positive force in people’s lives and avoid spreading negativity.