Many people confuse shyness with social anxiety, but they’re definitely not the same thing.
While both can make social situations awkward or even painful, social anxiety is far more severe and can majorly impact your daily life. Here are 16 ways to tell if you’re dealing with social anxiety or if you’re just shy. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can figure out the best way to deal with them.
1. Your anxiety extends beyond new situations.
Shy people might feel nervous in new environments or with unfamiliar people, but those with social anxiety often feel anxious even in familiar settings with people they know well. Persistent worry in various social situations is a key indicator of social anxiety.
2. Physical symptoms accompany your nervousness.
While shyness might make you blush or feel a bit jittery, social anxiety often comes with more intense physical symptoms. These can include rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, nausea, and even panic attacks. If you regularly experience these in social situations, it might be more than just shyness.
3. You avoid social situations altogether.
Shy people might feel uncomfortable in social settings but can usually push through. If you’re always cancelling plans or avoiding social events entirely due to anxiety, it could be a sign of social anxiety disorder.
4. Your worry begins long before the event.
While shy people might feel nervous right before a social event, those with social anxiety often start worrying days or even weeks in advance. Anticipatory anxiety can be all-consuming and majorly disruptive to your daily life, so don’t ignore it if it’s something that happens to you.
5. You struggle with everyday interactions.
Shyness might make small talk challenging, but social anxiety can make even simple interactions feel overwhelming. If you feel anxious about ordering food, answering the phone, or speaking to cashiers, it might be more than just shyness.
6. You’re overly concerned with how other people see you and what they think of you.
While shy people might worry about making a good impression, those with social anxiety often have intense, persistent fears about being judged or humiliated. Sadly, this excessive self-consciousness can dominate your thoughts in social situations.
7. You replay social interactions obsessively.
It’s normal to reflect on conversations and interactions, but if you find yourself obsessively analysing every detail of conversations long after they’ve ended, often with a negative spin, it could be a sign of social anxiety. You should be able to reflect and let it go.
8. Your anxiety interferes with work or school.
Shyness rarely impacts performance at work or school in any major way. However, social anxiety can make it difficult to participate in meetings, give presentations, or work on group projects, potentially affecting your career or academic progress.
9. You struggle to make or maintain friendships.
Source: Unsplash While shy people might take longer to warm up to other people, they can usually form and maintain friendships. If your anxiety makes it extremely tough to initiate or sustain relationships, even when you want to, it might be social anxiety.
10. You have an intense fear of being the centre of attention.
Source: Unsplash Shy people might prefer to blend into the background, but those with social anxiety often have an overwhelming fear of being the focus of attention. This can make situations like public speaking or being singled out in a group unbearable.
11. Your self-esteem is significantly impacted.
Source: Unsplash While shyness might make you feel a bit insecure at times, social anxiety often comes with constant negative self-talk and low self-esteem. If your social fears are seriously impacting how you view yourself, it could be more than shyness.
12. You use unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Source: Unsplash Some people with social anxiety turn to alcohol or other substances to manage their symptoms in social situations. If you rely on these coping mechanisms regularly, it’s a sign that your anxiety might be more severe than simple shyness.
13. You have trouble asserting yourself.
Source: Unsplash While shy people might struggle to speak up sometimes, those with social anxiety often find it extremely hard to assert themselves in any situation. This can lead to struggles in standing up for yourself or expressing your needs and wants, and that’s no good.
14. Your anxiety doesn’t improve with familiarity.
Source: Unsplash Shy people usually become more comfortable as they get to know people or situations better. If your anxiety remains high even in familiar social settings or with people you know well, it might be social anxiety.
15. You experience intense relief when social events are cancelled.
Source: Unsplash While shy people might feel a bit relieved when plans change, those with social anxiety often experience an overwhelming sense of relief when parties or other social events are cancelled. Such an intense reaction can be a sign that your anxiety is more severe.
16. Your quality of life is significantly affected.
Source: Unsplash Perhaps the most telling sign is the impact on your overall quality of life. If your fear of social situations is preventing you from living the life you want, pursuing opportunities, or enjoying activities you’d otherwise like to participate in, it’s likely more than just shyness.
