Do the people closest to you really know you as well as they think — or as well as you think?
Sometimes it’s fun to dig a bit deeper and see who’s been paying attention to your quirks, habits, and the little things that make you, well, you. If you want to really find out how much your best friend, partner, or even a family member really knows you deep down, here’s how to find out. Just remember to show as much interest in their lives, too!
1. Ask about your food quirks.
We all have weird food habits we don’t even think about anymore. See if they know which foods you absolutely won’t let touch on your plate, or that odd way you eat your sandwich crusts last. These tiny details say a lot about how much they’ve paid attention during meals together. You might be surprised to discover they’ve noticed things about your eating habits that you weren’t even aware of yourself.
2. Check if they spot your tells.
Everyone has those little signs that show when they’re stressed, excited, or fibbing. Ask if they can spot yours. My best mate knows I always play with my earring when I’m nervous. Someone who really knows you will pick up on these tiny gestures you might not even notice yourself. Try asking them to point out your tells next time you’re hanging out — their answers might surprise you.
3. Test their memory of your stories.
Bring up that hilarious disaster from your first job or that embarrassing moment from school. See how much they remember of the stories you’ve shared. It’s not about getting every detail right — it’s about whether they remember the parts that meant something to you. Start with a story you haven’t told in ages and see which bits stuck with them.
4. See if they notice your outfit changes.
Try wearing something slightly different from your usual style, or switch up your hair a bit. Someone who really knows you will spot these small changes straight away. My sister always notices when I wear colours I usually avoid — she knows my wardrobe better than I do sometimes. Make a subtle change and see how long it takes them to mention it.
5. Talk about past conversations.
Source: Unsplash Mention something you told them ages ago about your hopes or worries. See if they remember not just what you said, but how you felt about it. A person who truly knows you will recall these meaningful chats, even if they happened months ago. Bring up a dream you shared with them last year and see if they remember how excited you were about it.
6. Check their gift-giving style.
Think about the presents they’ve given you. Do they nail it every time with something perfectly ‘you’, or do they stick to safe options? Someone who really gets you will pick up on those random comments about things you’d love to have or try. Next time you receive a gift from them, notice if it connects to something you mentioned in passing months ago.
7. Watch their predictions.
When you’re faced with choices, see if they can guess what you’ll pick. Whether it’s choosing a film, picking a restaurant, or deciding weekend plans, someone who knows you well should have a good idea of what you’d prefer. Try asking them to guess your choice before you make it — you might discover they know your preferences better than you expected.
8. Notice their little gestures.
Pay attention to how they act around you without thinking. Do they automatically order your coffee just how you like it? Save you the window seat because they know you get travel sick? These unconscious habits show they’ve really learned your preferences. Watch for these thoughtful moments when they’re not trying to impress you — that’s when true understanding shows.
9. Ask about your comfort items.
See if they know what you reach for when you’re having a rough day. Maybe it’s that ratty old jumper, your mum’s tea, or that specific playlist. The people closest to you should know your go-to comfort things. Try asking them what they’d bring you if you were feeling down and see how well they know your comfort routine.
10. Test their understanding of your boundaries.
Notice if they remember your limits without being reminded. Do they know not to call you before 10am on weekends? Or that you need alone time after big social events? Respecting these boundaries shows they really understand how you tick. Pay attention to whether they automatically give you space when you need it without you having to ask.
11. Check their crisis response.
Think about how they react when you’re stressed or upset. Do they know exactly what helps you calm down? Whether you need space, a hug, or just someone to rant to — the right response shows they understand your emotional needs. Notice if they instinctively know the difference between when you want advice and when you just need someone to listen.
12. See if they catch your references.
Drop in random quotes from your favourite shows or inside jokes you’ve shared. Someone who really knows you will catch these references instantly. It’s like having your own secret language built from shared experiences. Try slipping in an obscure reference from something you watched together ages ago and see if they pick up on it.
13. Talk about your pet peeves.
Watch if they automatically avoid doing things that annoy you. Maybe they know not to whistle around you, or that you hate when people are late. These small considerations show they’ve paid attention to what bugs you. Notice how they might warn other people about your pet peeves when they’re around you.
14. Notice their anticipation.
See if they can predict your reactions to different situations. Do they know you’ll love that new café before you even go there? Or that you’ll definitely need a jumper even though you say you won’t? This kind of anticipation comes from really knowing someone’s patterns. Watch how often they prepare for your needs before you even mention them.
15. Check their memory of your changes.
Talk about how you’ve changed over the years. Someone who truly knows you will notice how your opinions, tastes, and habits have evolved. They’ll remember both who you were and understand who you’ve become. Ask them about specific ways they think you’ve grown or changed — their insights might help you see your own growth more clearly.
