We’re all guilty of sharing something with someone at some point that would have been better off kept to ourselves.
Maybe you spilled your deepest secrets to a stranger, or gave your co-worker way too much info about your personal life. It happens! That being said, if oversharing has become a habit, it might be time to learn how to keep some things to yourself. Here are some ways to avoid the temptation to tell people your life story and save yourself from those “why did I say that?!” moments.
1. Take a breath (or three) before you speak.
If you feel the urge to share something personal, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself, “Does this person need to know this?” or “Will I regret saying this later?” A quick mental check-in can save you from blurting out too much. You’d be surprised how much silence can be your best friend.
2. Read the room.
Not everyone is ready for your life story during a casual chat. If people look distracted, uncomfortable, or are glancing at the clock, it might not be the time for deep revelations. Pay attention to their reactions and adjust your level of sharing accordingly.
3. Know your audience.
Some people are great for venting, while others… not so much. Before you dive into a long-winded story, consider whether the person you’re talking to is the right one to hear it. Sharing with the wrong audience can lead to awkward moments or unwanted advice.
4. Keep some mystery alive.
There’s something charming about being a little mysterious. You don’t need to reveal every detail about your life in one go. Keep some things to yourself and let people get to know you gradually. It makes you more intriguing and less prone to oversharing regret.
5. Practise “micro-sharing.”
If you’re dying to share, try giving just a snippet instead of the whole story. Instead of saying, “I cried for three hours last night because my cat ignored me,” you can say, “My cat was extra sassy yesterday.” It keeps the conversation light and saves you from feeling overexposed.
6. Ask questions instead.
Flip the script and focus on the other person. People love talking about themselves, so asking questions about their life is a great way to steer the conversation away from your personal confessions. Bonus: It makes you seem like a great listener!
7. Practise active listening.
Sometimes oversharing happens because you’re filling the silence. Instead of jumping in with your own stories, practise really listening to what the other person is saying. This helps you stay present and keeps the focus off spilling your own secrets.
8. Stick to neutral topics.
When in doubt, stick to safe, light topics like hobbies, current events (nothing too controversial!), or funny stories. These topics keep the conversation fun without venturing into overshare territory. Save the heavy stuff for someone who’s earned your trust.
9. Develop a go-to response.
If you feel yourself starting to overshare, have a default response ready, like “Oh, that’s a story for another time!” or “It’s a long one, I’ll spare you the details.” It’s a polite way to keep things short and sweet without making it awkward.
10. Avoid sharing when you’re emotional.
Oversharing often happens when emotions are running high. If you’re upset, frustrated, or excited, wait until you’ve calmed down before talking about it. Emotional sharing can feel cathartic in the moment, but might leave you feeling vulnerable later.
11. Create “boundaries” for yourself.
Decide in advance what parts of your life are off-limits for casual conversations. This could be your love life, family drama, or that one time you embarrassed yourself at the office party. Having clear boundaries makes it easier to stop yourself before diving too deep.
12. Practise saying less.
Not every pause in a conversation needs to be filled. Letting silence sit for a second can feel awkward at first, but it also gives you space to think. Practising the art of saying less can help you feel more in control of your words.
13. Reflect on past overshares.
Think about times when you’ve overshared and how it made you feel afterward. Use those memories as motivation to rein it in next time. It’s not about beating yourself up, but learning what situations trigger your tendency to overshare.
14. Save the big stuff for trusted people.
Your closest friends or family are there for those big, emotional moments or embarrassing confessions. Sharing personal things with people who genuinely care about you is healthier and more rewarding than blurting them out to acquaintances or strangers.
15. Laugh it off when it happens.
If you do overshare, don’t stress too much — it happens to everyone! Laugh it off with something like, “Wow, I really went there, didn’t I?” A little humour can defuse the situation and make it less awkward for everyone involved. Oversharing isn’t the end of the world, but learning to hold back a little can save you from unnecessary embarrassment or regret. By practising these tips, you’ll find it easier to keep conversations balanced and share your life with the right people at the right time.
