We all have habits we’re not proud of, but when those habits become toxic patterns, they can destroy even the strongest relationships.
If you want your partner to feel secure, respected, and happy by your side, it’s important that you meet them halfway and treat them with the love, care, and consideration they deserve (just as they should do for you). In order to do that, you’ll need to drop these bad behaviours if you’re guilty of any of them. Your relationship will be so much better for it!
1. Constantly criticising your partner
Nitpicking everything they do, from how they load the dishwasher to how they dress, makes your partner feel unappreciated. Over time, this destroys their self-esteem and damages trust. Instead of focusing on flaws, make an effort to notice and appreciate their strengths. No one thrives under constant criticism.
2. Bringing up old arguments
Dragging past fights into new disagreements keeps both of you stuck in an endless loop of resentment. It makes it hard to resolve anything because you’re never dealing with the present issue. Try to resolve conflicts fully when they happen, and then let go. Rehashing old wounds prevents real growth.
3. Giving the silent treatment
Source: Unsplash Refusing to speak when you’re upset might feel like a way to protect yourself, but it shuts down communication completely. It leaves your partner feeling punished and confused. Instead, let them know you need space to cool off, and come back when you’re ready to talk calmly. Healthy communication beats silence every time.
4. Keeping score
Keeping track of who did what — who last cleaned the house, who last planned a date — turns your relationship into a competition. Love isn’t about tallying points. Instead, focus on giving and receiving freely. Keeping score only builds resentment and makes both of you feel like you’re never doing enough.
5. Jealousy and excessive suspicion
Source: Unsplash Constantly doubting your partner’s loyalty can make them feel trapped and untrusted. It’s okay to express concerns, but unfounded jealousy destroys your connection. Work on building trust and addressing your insecurities honestly. A relationship thrives when both people feel trusted and respected.
6. Not apologising when you’re wrong
Source: Unsplash Refusing to apologise makes you seem stubborn and dismissive of your partner’s feelings. We all mess up — owning your mistakes shows maturity and care. A sincere “I’m sorry” can go a long way in healing hurt feelings and showing your partner that their emotions matter.
7. Comparing your partner to other people
Whether it’s an ex, a friend’s partner, or someone on social media, comparisons hurt. They make your partner feel like they’ll never measure up. Focus on what makes your partner unique and why you chose them. No one wants to feel like they’re competing for your approval.
8. Dismissing their feelings
Telling your partner they’re “overreacting” or “being dramatic” invalidates their emotions. Even if you don’t understand their reaction, it’s real to them. Try listening and showing empathy instead. A simple “I can see why you feel that way” can make a world of difference.
9. Lying or hiding things
Even small lies or omissions can chip away at trust over time. Transparency and honesty build strong relationships. If you’ve made a mistake, it’s better to own up to it than let it come out later. Trust is fragile — once it’s broken, it’s hard to repair.
10. Taking your partner for granted
Source: Unsplash Assuming they’ll always be there, no matter what, can make them feel invisible or unappreciated. Express gratitude for the little things they do. A heartfelt “thank you” or an unexpected compliment can keep the connection strong. People need to feel valued to stay invested.
11. Avoiding difficult conversations
Ignoring tough topics doesn’t make problems go away — it makes them fester. Whether it’s money, intimacy, or future plans, tackling hard conversations head-on builds trust. Honesty and openness show your partner that you’re committed to working through things together.
12. Trying to “win” arguments
In a healthy relationship, arguments aren’t about winning or losing — they’re about understanding each other. Focusing on victory makes your partner feel like an adversary. Shift your mindset to finding solutions instead of proving a point. Teamwork, not competition, strengthens your bond.
13. Being emotionally unavailable
Shutting down or distancing yourself when things get hard can leave your partner feeling alone. Emotional intimacy means being present and engaged, even when it’s uncomfortable. Let them in on your thoughts and feelings. Vulnerability creates deeper connection and trust.
14. Refusing to compromise
Source: Unsplash Always insisting on having things your way makes your partner feel unheard and undervalued. Compromise shows that you respect their needs and opinions. Relationships are about finding balance — it’s not about one person always calling the shots.
15. Neglecting quality time
Life gets busy, but if you’re always distracted or putting off time together, your partner may feel like they’re not a priority. Make intentional time for just the two of you, whether it’s a date night, a walk, or simply sitting together. Quality time keeps the connection alive.
16. Holding grudges
Source: Unsplash Holding onto resentment poisons your relationship over time. Letting go of past hurts doesn’t mean forgetting — it means choosing to move forward. Address issues honestly and then give each other a chance to heal. Forgiveness creates space for growth and deeper connection.
