You probably consider yourself to be pretty laid-back, but are your words telling a different story?
They say actions speak louder than words, but the things that come out of your mouth do count for something. No matter how much you insist that you’re cool as a cucumber, if you say these things, you’re definitely more uptight than you’d like to let on.
1. “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.”
This classic passive-aggressive phrase is a dead giveaway that you’re anything but easy-going. If you’re genuinely relaxed, you’d probably just say what’s bothering you outright instead of playing mind games. You have a voice, so why don’t you use it?
2. “I told you so.”
Easy-going people don’t feel the need to point out when they’re right. If you’re constantly reminding people of your correct predictions, you might be more hung up on being right than you realise. What do you gain from pointing out your so-called superiority here?
3. “That’s not how we do things here.”
If you’re a bit of a stick in the mud and always stick to the same methods you’ve used all along, you’re obviously not as flexible as you think. Truly easy-going people are open to different approaches and don’t get flustered by change. They get that things evolve, and they need to go with the flow.
4. “I need to speak to the manager.”
Source: Unsplash While it’s okay to address genuine issues, if this is your go-to response for minor inconveniences, you might be more high-maintenance than you’d like to admit. (Okay, Karen!) Easy-going people tend to roll with the punches a bit more and don’t get haughty when companies don’t roll out the red carpet for them.
5. “You always/never do this.”
Using absolutes like ‘always’ or ‘never’ in arguments is a sign you’re not as relaxed as you could be. It shows you’re keeping score and holding grudges rather than letting things go. Is it really that big of a deal, or are you just being a bit high-strung?
6. “I’m fine.”
When said in a certain tone, this seemingly innocuous phrase can be loaded with passive aggression. If you’re truly easy-going, you’d probably just say what’s on your mind instead of expecting other people to read between the lines.
7. “It’s my way or the highway.”
If you say this or even think along these lines, you’re definitely not easy-going. Being easygoing means being willing to go with the flow and adapt to various situations without it overwhelming you. Demanding absolute adherence to your preferred way of doing things is control freak behaviour.
8. “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
Source: Unsplash This gem is often followed by something quite rude indeed. Easy-going people generally don’t feel the need to preface their statements with disclaimers – they just communicate directly and kindly. They don’t say rude things in the first place, to be honest!
9. “Why can’t you be more like…”
Source: Unsplash Comparing other people to an ideal standard is a pretty obvious sign you’re not as relaxed as you think. Easy-going people tend to accept people as they are, rather than wishing they were different (or trying to make them so). Besides, the person you want them to be more like no doubt has their own faults!
10. “That’s not fair.”
Source: Unsplash Life isn’t always fair, and easy-going people generally understand and accept this. If you’re constantly complaining about fairness, you might be more hung up on things going your way than you realise. You’ve got to learn to suck it up a bit more!
11. “I’m just being honest.”
Source: Unsplash This often follows a harsh or unnecessary comment, and it’s totally unnecessary (both this and the comment that came before it, no doubt). Truly easy-going people can be honest without being brutal, and they don’t feel the need to justify their honesty.
12. “You’re doing it wrong.”
Source: Unsplash If you can’t resist pointing out when others aren’t doing things your way, you’re probably not as laid-back as you think. Easy-going people understand there’s often more than one right way to do things.
13. “I don’t have time for this.”
Source: Unsplash We’re all busy, but if this is your go-to when faced with unexpected situations or requests, you might be more rigid in your thinking than you realise. Easy-going people tend to be more flexible with their time and priorities.
14. “It’s not my problem.”
Source: Unsplash While it’s important to have boundaries, consistently writing off things as not being any of your concern might mean you’re not as cooperative or flexible as truly easy-going people tend to be. Sometimes you help people out because it’s the nice thing to do, not because it’s your responsibility.
15. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”
If you end up thinking or saying this often, you’re highly strung AND delusional. Saying things like this reveals a lack of patience and a tendency to judge people unfairly and harshly – traits not typically associated with a relaxed personality.
16. “I can’t believe you did that.”
Always acting like you’re in utter shock at other people’s actions suggests you have rigid expectations. Easy-going people are generally less surprised by people’s behaviour and more accepting of different ways of doing things. Just let people live their lives, for goodness’ sake!
17. “That’s not what I meant.”
If you constantly clarify your statements, you might be more particular about what people think of you than a truly easy-going person would be. Relaxed people tend to be less worried about potential misunderstandings and more open to varying interpretations. Not everyone is going to like or understand you, and you need to be okay with that!
