Marriages rarely fall apart overnight.
More often, it’s the little things that add up and have a major effect on your relationship, often destroying it before you even realise. If you want to strengthen your connection with your spouse and keep it thriving, it might be time to stop doing these seemingly minor things that can cause major damage.
1. Rolling your eyes when they speak
This tiny gesture screams disrespect. Even if you don’t say a word, an eye roll can convey contempt and make your partner feel dismissed. Respecting each other’s thoughts and feelings, even when you disagree, helps build trust and safety in the relationship.
2. Interrupting them constantly
Cutting your partner off mid-sentence might not seem like a big deal, but it sends the message that what they’re saying doesn’t matter. Letting them speak and truly listening shows that you value their perspective. Nobody likes feeling unheard.
3. Keeping score of who’s right
If every disagreement turns into a tally of who “won” last time, you’re headed down a dangerous path. Marriage isn’t a competition. Focusing on being right instead of resolving issues creates resentment. Sometimes, it’s better to aim for understanding rather than victory.
4. Ignoring the little things they do for you
Taking your partner’s efforts for granted, whether it’s making dinner or remembering your favourite snack, can leave them feeling unappreciated. A simple “thank you” or acknowledgment goes a long way in making them feel seen and valued.
5. Using sarcasm during arguments
Sarcasm might feel like a harmless way to express frustration, but it often comes across as hurtful or dismissive. It can make your partner feel belittled and misunderstood. Try expressing your feelings directly instead of hiding behind a sarcastic remark.
6. Neglecting physical affection
Little acts of affection, like holding hands, hugging, or a kiss on the cheek, help maintain intimacy. When you stop these small gestures, the emotional distance can grow. Physical touch keeps the connection alive in ways words sometimes can’t.
7. Letting your phone steal your attention
Scrolling through your phone while your partner is talking may seem trivial, but it can make them feel unimportant. Being present and giving them your full attention shows respect and reinforces your bond. Put the phone down and tune in.
8. Making jokes at their expense
Playful teasing is one thing, but if your jokes consistently poke fun at your partner, it can wear them down. Over time, these “harmless” comments can hurt their self-esteem and create resentment. Keep humour kind and respectful.
9. Bottling up your feelings
Suppressing your emotions to avoid conflict might seem like a good idea, but it can lead to explosive arguments later. Open communication, even when it’s hard, helps keep misunderstandings from festering. Your partner can’t address what they don’t know.
10. Expecting them to read your mind
No matter how long you’ve been together, your partner isn’t a mind reader. Expecting them to guess what you need or how you feel only sets them up for failure. Be clear about your needs and feelings—it saves a lot of frustration.
11. Criticising instead of offering feedback
There’s a difference between constructive feedback and outright criticism. Comments like “You never do anything right” hurt more than they help. Instead, try focusing on what can be improved and how to work together to make it happen.
12. Holding silly grudges
Bringing up past mistakes every time you argue keeps old wounds fresh. Forgiveness is must for a healthy marriage. Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing to move forward together instead of staying stuck.
13. Saying “fine” when you’re not
Brushing off issues with a curt “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not can create confusion and distance. Honest communication, even if it’s uncomfortable, helps avoid misunderstandings and builds intimacy. It’s okay to say how you really feel.
14. Neglecting quality time together
It’s easy to get caught up in work, kids, or daily routines, but neglecting intentional time together weakens your connection. Date nights, shared hobbies, or even quiet evenings together help keep the relationship strong. Prioritise each other.
15. Comparing them to other people
Saying things like “Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” is a recipe for resentment. Comparisons diminish your partner’s individuality and make them feel inadequate. Celebrate who they are, not who you think they should be.
16. Avoiding tough but necessary conversations
Ignoring issues doesn’t make them go away; it usually makes them worse. Facing awkward or uncomfortable topics head-on, like finances, intimacy, or future goals, helps prevent resentment from building up. Honest, respectful conversations are vital for growth.
