Respect isn’t automatic just because you’re older, even if you think it should be.
Young people today pay a lot of attention to how people act, not just how long they’ve been around. If you’re guilty of these behaviours on a regular basis, you can’t expect younger people to stick around—or admire you. It might be time for a serious change of approach.
1. Acting like your experience means you’re always right
Having lived longer doesn’t automatically make your opinion more valid. If every conversation turns into a lecture about how things were “back in your day,” people start tuning out fast. Younger people respect those who can share experience without using it to shut down new ideas. If you always pull rank instead of listening, don’t be surprised when they stop asking what you think.
2. Making jokes that rely on outdated stereotypes
It doesn’t matter if “you didn’t mean it that way”—if your humour constantly punches down or leans on tired clichés, it just feels lazy and off-putting. Times have changed, and people notice who hasn’t kept up. You don’t have to be perfect, but if your go-to jokes mock people’s gender, race, or identity, you’re not coming across as funny. You’re coming across as someone stuck in a mindset no one respects anymore.
3. Mocking younger people for caring about mental health
Brushing off anxiety, burnout, or depression as people being “too soft” isn’t tough, it’s dismissive. When younger people open up about their struggles, they’re not looking for judgement. They’re looking for understanding. If you respond with jokes or eye-rolls, all you’re showing is a lack of empathy. That attitude doesn’t earn respect—it builds distance. And it tells people you’re not someone they can turn to when it really counts.
4. Refusing to learn how things work now
You don’t have to love social media or be fluent in every app, but acting like modern technology is beneath you doesn’t make you seem wise. It just makes you look stubborn and out of touch. When you refuse to learn anything new “because it’s dumb,” you’re choosing pride over progress. Nothing loses respect faster than someone who brags about not even trying.
5. Expecting respect just because you’re older
Respect has to be mutual. If you treat younger people like they owe you something without ever showing them the same in return, they’re going to quietly check out. And they’re not wrong to. Respecting someone’s age is one thing—respecting someone’s attitude is another. If you demand it without earning it, you’ll end up bitter while wondering why no one wants your advice anymore.
6. Interrupting constantly to “correct” them
If your instinct is to jump in with “Actually…” every time someone speaks, it doesn’t come across as helpful. It comes across as exhausting. People start to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you. Younger people want to feel heard, not talked over. If you can’t let someone finish a sentence without setting them straight, they’re not going to see you as wise—they’ll just see you as rude.
7. Using phrases like “real jobs” or “the real world”
Anytime someone talks about their career or studies, and you respond with, “Wait until you get a real job,” you’ve already lost their respect. It’s patronising, outdated, and just plain dismissive. Work looks different now. Life looks different now. Respecting that doesn’t mean pretending to understand everything—it means not mocking what you don’t. That kind of openness gets remembered.
8. Acting like being busy is a badge of honour
Younger people aren’t impressed by burnout. If you brag about how little you sleep, how many hours you work, or how you never take a break, they’re not applauding—they’re concerned. Most of them are actively trying to build a life that doesn’t revolve around exhaustion. If you make them feel lazy for setting boundaries or protecting their peace, they won’t argue. They’ll just move on without you.
9. Making fun of how they speak or dress
Rolling your eyes at slang, judging people’s style, or mocking someone’s pronouns doesn’t make you edgy—it makes you look like you’re threatened by change. People notice, even if they don’t say it out loud. Respect isn’t about agreeing with everything. It’s about not making someone feel small for being different from you. If you can’t offer that, don’t expect much in return.
10. Belittling what they’re passionate about
Whether it’s video games, niche hobbies, or activism, dismissing something someone cares about just because it’s not your thing is a fast way to shut down connection. You don’t have to love it, but mocking it? That’s a choice. When people feel safe to show you what lights them up, they connect with you faster. If you meet that with sarcasm or boredom, they’ll stop showing you that side, and start keeping their distance.
11. Treating apologies like weakness
Doubling down when you’re clearly in the wrong doesn’t make you look strong—it makes you look insecure. Younger people respect honesty and growth, not pride that refuses to budge. Being able to say, “You’re right, I didn’t think of it that way,” is powerful. It doesn’t take anything away from you. In fact, it builds the kind of respect that sticks because it feels real.
12. Holding on to power just to have control
In families, workplaces, or communities, the people who cling to power the hardest are usually the ones most afraid of letting go. But when you refuse to share space, all you do is block the next generation from growing. Respect grows when you lift people up, not when you make them fight for every bit of say. If you’re always pulling rank, don’t act surprised when people stop including you in the conversation at all.
