We all have bad days, but if you have more bad ones than good (even if it’s just in your own mind), something’s got to give.
While no one would advocate for toxic positivity — pretending everything’s hunky-dory when the world seems to be imploding is not the way to go — there’s something to be said for looking for the silver lining on every cloud. Sadly, if you’re saying these things with any regularity, you’ve turned into a bit of a Debbie or Donald Downer, and your attitude needs a change.
1. “Nothing ever goes right for me.”
Life does come with its ups and downs, but if you keep saying this, you’re only focusing on the negative. That kind of thinking overlooks all the wins, big or small, that happen every day. Sure, setbacks happen, but don’t let them cloud everything else. Take a moment to acknowledge the good—because there’s always something to appreciate, even on the rough days.
2. “I can’t do anything right.”
Mistakes happen. Everyone messes up from time to time, but it doesn’t mean you’re incapable. This is a heavy weight to carry, and it’s not true. If you’ve failed at something, it’s just a step in the process of learning and growing. Next time, try telling yourself, “I made a mistake, but I can fix it,” and watch how it changes your approach.
3. “What’s the point?”
When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, it’s easy to wonder if there’s any point to anything. But that kind of thinking can drain all your motivation. Instead, shift gears and ask, “What small step can I take next?” Focusing on action, even if it’s just a tiny one, brings back a sense of purpose and gets you moving forward.
4. “They’re just lucky; I never get that.”
It’s natural to compare ourselves to other people, but thinking that success is all about luck is a dangerous mindset. Luck might play a part, but effort, persistence, and timing often make the biggest difference. Stop measuring your worth against everyone else’s journeys and focus on the actions you can take to get where you want to be.
5. “It’s not fair.”
Life’s not always fair. It’s an uncomfortable truth, but it’s one that can set you free. If you spend all your energy complaining about things being unfair, you’re only wasting your time. Instead, think about what you can control and how you can respond to challenges in a way that empowers you.
6. “Why does this always happen to me?”
We all get stuck in this “why me?” mindset from time to time, but nothing good comes from wallowing in it. It’s easy to feel like the universe is out to get you, but the reality is, everyone has their struggles. The key is to stop asking “Why?” and start asking “What can I learn from this?” That mindset shift helps you grow from tough situations instead of getting stuck in them.
7. “I don’t care.”
Saying “I don’t care” can be a defence mechanism to avoid feeling vulnerable or hurt. But when you shut down emotionally, you’re only pushing people away and deepening your sense of isolation. It’s okay to care about things—feel the feelings, process them, and use them to connect rather than shut off.
8. “It’s too hard.”
This often pops up before you even give something a proper try. When you label something as “too hard,” you stop yourself before you can even get started. Instead, break it down into manageable steps, tackle one thing at a time, and watch how much easier it feels once you’ve made some progress.
9. “They probably don’t like me.”
It’s easy to assume the worst when you’re feeling insecure, but the truth is, most people are far more focused on their own lives than on judging you. This just fuels unnecessary anxiety. Instead, remind yourself, “I can’t control other people’s thoughts, but I can control how I show up.” Focus on being yourself, and let go of worrying about what other people might think.
10. “I knew this would happen.”
If you’re expecting failure, you’ll find reasons to make it happen — it’s a mindset that really locks you into negativity. Try to stay open to the possibility of things working out, and challenge yourself to think, “It could go better than I expect.” Optimism might just surprise you.
11. “I’m just unlucky.”
Believing that you’re somehow cursed with bad luck is a quick way to stay stuck in a negative loop. Luck may play a role, but it’s never the whole story. Instead of blaming “bad luck,” focus on what you can do to improve the situation. Taking action always beats passivity.
12. “I hate everything right now.”
When frustration sets in, it can feel like everything’s wrong. But this sweeping statement can make things feel worse than they are. Instead of saying you hate everything, try pinpointing exactly what’s bothering you. It helps you address the issue without letting it ruin your entire day.
13. “Nobody understands me.”
It’s easy to feel like you’re on your own, but assuming no one understands you doesn’t help. Instead of closing off, try communicating what you’re going through. Opening up can help people see things from your perspective, and you might find you have more support than you realised.
14. “I give up.”
Giving up is tempting when things get tough, but it’s not the only option. Taking a break can be helpful, but giving up completely won’t get you anywhere. Instead of throwing in the towel, ask yourself if there’s another way to approach the problem. Sometimes, all it takes is a new perspective.
15. “It’s always my fault.”
It’s good to take responsibility for your actions, but blaming yourself for everything isn’t healthy. It eats away at your confidence and creates unnecessary guilt. Instead of taking on the entire burden, think about what’s within your control and what’s beyond it. You can learn and grow without carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
