Your time, energy, and emotional bandwidth are limited, so you don’t want to spend any of it on people who aren’t worth it.
Toxic people have a way of draining you dry and leaving you feeling depleted in every possible way, which is why you need to be able to recognise them before they get their claws into you, and it’s too late. Here are some red flag traits that tell you someone is worth avoiding at all costs.
1. They always have to be right, no matter what.
They’ll argue until they’re blue in the face, even when they’re clearly wrong — it’s like they physically can’t admit to making a mistake. People like this will twist facts, rewrite history, and even flat-out lie just to avoid admitting they’re not perfect. It’s exhausting and frankly, a bit sad.
2. They constantly play the victim card.
Nothing is ever their fault. They’re always the one being wronged, misunderstood, or targeted. Even when they’ve clearly messed up, they’ll find a way to make it seem like they’re the one who’s been hard done by in the situation. Taking responsibility just isn’t in their capabilities.
3. They’re always ready with a backhanded compliment.
These people are masters of the subtle dig. They’ll say something that sounds nice on the surface, but there’s always a little barb hidden in there. “Oh, you’ve lost weight! You almost look good now.” Gee, thanks. They can’t bear to say something genuinely nice without taking you down a peg at the same time.
4. They’re never happy for other people’s success.
When something good happens to someone else, they always find a way to rain on the parade. They’ll downplay people’s accomplishments, point out potential downsides, or try to one-up the person. They see life as a competition and can’t stand the idea of anyone else winning.
5. They love to gossip and spread rumours.
These people always seem to know everyone’s business, and they can’t wait to share it. They thrive on drama and don’t seem to care about the damage their words might cause. If they’re telling you all about someone else’s private life, chances are they’re doing the same with yours when you’re not around.
6. They’re constantly in need of attention and validation.
They can’t exist unless they’re the centre of attention. Every conversation has to be about them, every situation needs to revolve around their feelings or experiences. They’ll do almost anything to get people to focus on them, even if it means creating drama or conflict.
7. They never take no for an answer.
These people seem to think that boundaries are just suggestions. If you say no to something, they’ll keep pushing, guilting, or manipulating until they get their way. They truly believe that their wants and needs are more important than anyone else’s comfort or choices.
8. They’re always quick to judge and criticise people.
Nothing and no one is ever good enough for these people. They’ve always got something negative to say, whether it’s about someone’s appearance, choices, or achievements. They seem to get a kick out of putting people down, maybe to make themselves feel better.
9. They can’t handle criticism themselves.
Ironically, while they’re happy to dish out criticism, they can’t take it themselves. Any hint of feedback or constructive criticism is met with defensiveness, anger, or sulking. They think they’re above reproach and everyone else should just accept them as they are.
10. They’re masters of gaslighting.
These people have a way of making you question your own reality. They’ll deny things that you know happened, twist your words, or make you feel like you’re going crazy for having perfectly normal reactions. It’s a subtle form of manipulation that can really mess with your head.
11. They’re emotional vampires.
After spending time with these people, you feel drained and exhausted. They seem to suck all the positive energy out of a room. Whether it’s through constant complaining, drama-stirring, or neediness, they leave you feeling like you’ve run an emotional marathon.
12. They’re never wrong, but they’re never sorry either.
Even on the rare occasions when these people can’t wriggle out of admitting they’ve made a mistake, they never actually apologise. They might say things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry but…”, which aren’t real apologies at all. It’s like saying sorry would somehow diminish them.
13. They’re always keeping score.
Relationships with these people feel transactional. They remember every favour, every perceived slight, every time they think you’ve let them down. And they’re not afraid to bring up this mental tally whenever it suits them. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with their imaginary balance sheet.
14. They love to one-up everyone.
No matter what story you tell or what experience you share, they’ve always got one better. If you ran a 5k, they’ve run a marathon. If you’re tired from work, they’re exhausted from their much harder job. They can’t bear the idea of someone else having the spotlight, even for a moment.
15. They’re fair-weather friends.
These people are great when everything’s going well, but as soon as you hit a rough patch, they’re nowhere to be found. They love to be around for the good times, but they’ve always got an excuse when you actually need support. They see friendship as something that should always be fun and easy, with no effort required.
16. They’re constantly negative.
Source: Unsplash No matter what’s happening, they always find something to complain about. Beautiful day? They’ll moan about the sun being too bright. Got a promotion? They’ll grumble about the extra responsibilities. They’re basically allergic to positivity and determined to bring everyone down to their level.
17. They love to play mind games.
Source: Unsplash These people seem to enjoy manipulating people. They might give you the silent treatment, purposely make you jealous, or use other tactics to keep you off-balance. They see relationships as a chess game where they always have to be three moves ahead.
18. They never take responsibility for their actions.
When things go wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. They’ve always got an excuse or someone else to blame. They think they’re perfect, and any problems must be due to other people or circumstances outside of their control. This refusal to take responsibility makes it impossible for them to grow or improve.
